Have you done your Swedish death clean yet?

I relish small triumphs in decluttering the kitchen. This clutter stems wholly from my husband. Although he never cooks the meals and rarely prepares the veg, he is attracted to gadgets that he wants me to use. He has inherited this gene from his father who also didn't cook. Since January, I have ditched a pristine onion chopper and the toast rack. I must have caught him at a moment of weakness as he didn't bat an eyelid when I suggested they go.

MOnica

Yes children do want the really older things. I want to give my dinnerservice away but I took the old Rosenthal Dinner service which belonged to DH's grandmother
I love it and as it only has 5 plates left I enjoy planning a meal for a few people.

Oops! Wrong thread! Sorry everyone - am idiot!

I’m baffled as well. I always thought Newtonian mechanics were based on Newton’s Laws-motion, gravity etc., whilst determinism is defined in psychology as the philosophical theory of universal causation. I’d be interested if Nina could expand on her words.

My OH is a hoarder, drives me crazy! The stuff he 'collects' for some reason best known to himself is amazing. Postcards of here, he has even started printing off photos of the place from online. Watches - why? He has enough fishing tackle to start a shop. We have three sheds, apart from a couple pairs of my sons boots the rest of it is stuff he has gathered over the years (funnily enough it's often not the thing he needs to do a small job) and only this morning he has taken his old coats out to air them. 6 coats!
And at least another half dozen upstairs!! My son keeps saying he's going to get up in the loft to see what's there, OH won't let him..... who knows what he's hiding up there lol.
No one is going to want any of it when he's gone.
I have got rid of a lot of books now, kindle/ipad means I don't look at them - especially cook books. Lot of old craft stuff gone too. I don't have ornaments etc so none of that to worry about.

My Dad has gradually cleared stuff from his house over the last couple of years, he always asks if anyone is likely to want things before it goes. Lots of ornaments (dust collectors as I call them lol) etc that my mum had gathered, most people don't want stuff like that these days. Some stuff was sold at auction but most went to charity shop. Still some to go.

I think it's good idea, and for me now at 80, very appropriate.
Sometimes I wander around the house with a black bag and throw things out, and I've sold some stuff on ebay, but generally this house is one great big clutter! I feel ashamed!

Clutter really does drive me nuts. Nobody wants anything of mine, except my jewellery, photos and a couple of other things. If I lived alone I would live in an almost empty house. My DH, for some insane reason, buys me stuffed toys, ornaments and other sentimental type stuff. I would cheerfully Chuck it in the bin but because it was given with love, I don’t and I haven’t the heart to say stop buying me stuff that clutters up my space! I’ve got giant stuffed animals and teddy bears staring at me from the top of my kist. I think they know I want to do them in. And don’t start me on paperwork. I must have every bit of paper that had ever been sent to us. Please keep me away from the matches ?

It depends on the family situation I think. When we downsized we had to prune drastically. Some things went to family, a lot couldn’t, no space. If we were doing it now one would like more because of a change in their situation, but the clock can’t be turned back. If someone is living comfortably then no reason to prune either furniture or treasured items, these are different to clutter which is neither beautiful nor useful. Each situation is different. My father asked us to clear away many things he didn’t see a use for when he knew he was dying. We did it together. It was upsetting to a degree but for me less upsetting than dealing with the rest after his death. It was important to him to leave a tidy home behind him. We’re all different. Just do what feels right for you and your family.

Many posters seem to assume that their children do not want any of their 'stuff'. My experience with my DC and DGC is the opposite.

My DGD has already told me that she wants my sewing box/work table, It was originally my mother's, she bought it in Hong Kong in the early 1950s. It is lacquered and carved. My DC both want quite a number of items we own,

Some years ago we got rid of some small pieces of furniture and DD threw a real wobbly. We got rid of a small cheap reproduction coffee table that had belonged to her DGM and which, for her, was redolent with memories, of a much loved GM and which she would have kept.

Oil

A few of my neighbours have died recently. Their children live away and seem to have just chucked everything in a skip. It makes me sad to see someone's whole life just thrown in a skip (especially when there are items that could have been given to charity) . It made me decide I will start to sort through my stuff. When mum died I cleared her house with the help of her two sisters. We laughed and cried at some of the memories but it actually helped with the grieving process.

I am so trying to do a really thorough, deep clean and get rid of excess junk and clutter. My “assistant” (DH) is seriously testing my patience. He’s trying to help but causing more work. He’s in grave danger of either being put in the excess junk and clutter pile or preceding the clean ??? Break over, back to it ?

I decided not to keep any books which I knew I wouldn' t read again. I just throw them away as even charity shops get too many books. I have a Kindle now as well.
Clothes are harder. A friend in hospital was being sent home with shoulder and arm stuck out in a plaster. She asked me to cut a sleeve out of an old coat of hers and bring it to the hospital. Since then I feel I ought to have clothes to cut up in such a situation!

Our children will have some clearing up to do that can't be avoided but I am trying to give my dinner service away already now and find no takers. Its all rather sad. My bicycle is being collected next week, as these days bicycles are stolen from school storage shelters, and GD wants an old one to cycle to school on, so its not completely gone.
As to the Swedish death model I think 55 is much too early. We returned to Germany aged 53 and took a load of English furnture with us, bought at Antique Fairs. I've just bought a digital piano, I think life is for living. Perhaps their furniture is all IKEA.

The joy of having a house with lots of storage is slightly dimmed by the fact that at some stage we are going to have to sort through it all. Every year I do several mini clear-outs, but that still leaves far too much waiting to be sorted. Today I made a start by going through one downstairs wall to ceiling bookcase - it took me quite some time! (And I still need to clear the dresser/sideboard/cupboard........) [gulp]

My house is FULL. I’m leaving most of it for my children to throw out. We have discussed it and they have said they don’t mind.

I do feel a bit sad about my beautiful china. Nobody wants tea-sets ( I have five of them) or huge dinner services that won’t go in the dishwasher because of silver line decoration. There might be collectors, I suppose.

I’m certainly not throwing out my books or pictures! I still live here.

I only came here to find out what a death clean was. It's too horrible! Actually I suppose I've left a few things handy for them - will, bank stuff, etc. also suggestions re. funeral but it's what they want that matters. I have been chucking out stuff all my life anyway but still have things which make me wonder why on earth I have them. Death clean.... urghhh it's horrible! Don't say it, so cold and creepy. Why not set up some little fun surprises for them? Presents or something? But then you'd need to make sure they got them. In reality, when my mum died, practically everything was cleared by a House Clearance Company. I'd leave them some cash to pay for that.

biker our charity shop has a sign up saying ‘no more donations please as we’ve no more room’

My next doors husband died 2yrs ago. Ever since then she’s been death cleaning. I’m leaving it for my children to do. I’ve no idea what they’ll want and what they won’t!

I plan to keep my things which bring me pleasure up until the last minute. As soon as I'm dead, a house clearance firm can take the lot.

I think this is a really good idea but needs to be moderated a bit. I have just brought out a novel 'The Ladies' Suicide Club', which looks at 'end-of-life plans' in general. I think we need to talk more about death and accept that we should be discussing it with friends and family well before there is any sign of it on the horizon. I think 70-75 is probably soon enough for starting your clear-out.

Re boxes of old photos, I loved what my father did with a load of his, not too long before he died. He picked out a small album full of the best, and wrote captions under each, so that at least we knew who the people were and where it was - so often you haven't a clue.
Typically of him, the captions were amusing, e.g. 'Great granny Agatha and great aunt Mildred, dressed in the fashion of staid ladies of their day.'

There were pictures of a Suffolk farm where he'd stayed on holiday as a child, and he even remembered the name of a very handsome farm horse in one of the photos.
Nearly all the other old photos were chucked, but this has all been scanned for our children and grandchildren.

There is a difference between clearing out to the point where there is the bare essentials left and clearing out rubbish that will never mean anything to children, I have boxes full of treasures from the early years that I could never get rid of and the children will share amongst themselves in later years. The stuff I clear out is old, broken, dirty, meaningless clutter. We had a lot of decent novels that I looked at recently and asked the children what they thought and they all said if they wanted to read them they would download them onto a device. As it happens we have a library at work so I donated them there but it's good to ask their opinion first to avoid upset

I love the feeling you get after managing to sort and clear some of my/our junk collectibles. Also a while back I got the feeling that it was a bit like the 'nesting' instinct that you get when pregnant, only this is for the beginning of putting our affairs in order as you get older. I haven't put it very well, but someone may know what I am getting at.

Looking at my DGC rooms aged 8 and 10, I realise they need lessons in sorting themselves and their things out. It's all part of living. They is a tendency for them to think Mummy will do it. Mummy will do everything.
So it's another lesson for them. Looking through their things and sorting it out a bit. Part of adult life.
Not just a death clean.

Our Charity shop takes anything apart from electrical items (once we get the certificate to check electrical items we will be taking them) we also still take cds/dvds and people come in as we have a good collection./..the only thing we don't take is the old Videos VHS.

So if your stuck what to do with your unwanted items the charity shops are always wanting stock( well ours is anyway) the r.s.p.c.a some will come and collect if you have quiet a few bags.