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Bringing up boys and girls

(33 Posts)
gillybob Wed 11-Oct-17 18:18:53

I too have one sister and we were brought up in the 60's and 70's by young but very old fashioned parents. My mum always believed that men (my dad) were some kind of superior being to "us girls" and she really never had a mind of her own. She thought what my dad thought . She turned down good promotions at work as she honestly thought she wasn't worthy of being manager or going into the accounts department or whatever . She preferred to stay in the shadow of my dad . Sad really .
My sister and I both have very low self esteem as a result.

Fennel Wed 11-Oct-17 18:07:35

I have one sister and my parents encouraged us both to go to University (1950s).
I wanted to study Law, as Dad was a solicitor, but he wouldn't agree -" people won't take any notice of a woman lawyer."
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w
Nowadays the majority of solicitors qualifying are women.
With ours, 2 boys 2 girls , not much difference, we encouraged sport , hiking, camping etc as a family.
Until the girls reached puberty, then we were more protective.

M0nica Wed 11-Oct-17 17:28:15

My best friend at school certainly had a similar background. Her father surpassed himself, he would happily go into the local chemist and buy sanitary towels if necessary, but he was quite a character. She had a younger brother so the possibility of gender stereotyping could have happened in her family but didn't. I had another friend put under intense pressure from her mother to achieve what she hadn't been able to do. She too had brothers.

There were also other girls, who wanted to go to university, but whose parents could see no reason for funding it 'because you will only get married'.

It was a mix, but I think in the 1950s parents encouraging their daughters to take on the world and make careers for themselves was rather more common than is generally believed.

Riverwalk Wed 11-Oct-17 17:22:00

I brought up two boys and for 13 years of their young life there was a woman prime minister, so that could be seen as a plus for general 'background' positive gender-stereotyping, as it went against the trend.

Today we have a female prime minister, Scottish first minster, Met police chief, fire commissioner, more MPs, etc., but I don't think this advance reflects society in general.

We seem to have turned the clock back with the never-ending images in the media of women posing with their backsides provocatively turned to the camera, trout pouts, fillers, pillow cheeks, and so on. Girls are still very much judged on their looks.

Again in the media, which is so influential, we have old grizzled news readers/presenters such as Andrew Neil, Paxman, Humphrys, Snow, all in their 60/70s and no female equivalents in mainline programmes, they're all young and attractive.

So yes there are more female role models to inspire young girls but we have a long way to go.

I have a granddaughter and she plays rugby! smile

LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 11-Oct-17 17:12:17

Thanks both. Do you think your parents were unusual in that regard Monica? Or were your friends brought up similarly?

M0nica Wed 11-Oct-17 16:31:08

I was one of three girls. My father was an army officer, my mother variously a teacher and an insurance clerk. In my home in the 1950s, there was little or no gender stereotyping beyond dressing nicely and being polite. I went to an all girls boarding school, where again it was academically good and measured its success in numbers of girls that went on to university and teacher's training college

As far as my parents were concerned, my mother in particular, getting a good education and a good career was her main aim for us. It was never suggested to me that I had to defer to any member of the male sex, of any age just because of their gender. I grew up thinking the world was my oyster and I could do any job I wanted to do and that I was qualified for.

My parents had a marriage of absolute equality, I cannot remember a single occasion where my father sat down and relaxed if my mother was doing any housework. He would always be alongside helping (it used to drive DM mad, she wished he would sit down and get out of her way!).

I have a son and a daughter and I think they would agree that they were brought up without any gender stereotyping. We encouraged them in whatever interests they had and it was DD who had the electric train set. DS had no interest in either construction or engineering toys or sport.

I think women are getting very wimpy with their desire for special support and role models. There were no women role models in the 1950s and I cannot remember the lack of them playing any part in the decisions I and other girls I was at school with made in career choices. We were well aware we were a pioneering generation, with opportunities our mothers didn't have and we went for them. I went to university and read economics, a very male dominated subject and went on the have a career in industry, mainly in predominantly male environments in engineering industries

minimo Wed 11-Oct-17 16:30:07

I think it's great there are more female role models. There's enough evidence out there to convince me that without them women wouldn't think they were capable or allowed to do certain jobs.

I'm not convinced about the pink/blue debate. Many of my friends had tomboy girls and others very girly girls. In my experience having children - and the change that makes to your life as a woman in terms of job prospects/life dynamics - is the single biggest issue. As in that's where the gender discrepancies come in.

LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 11-Oct-17 15:10:01

We've been asked to comment on BBC radio about the differences between bringing up girls and boys today vs when you brought up your children (or how you were brought up yourselves). E.g. does/did gender stereotyping have a lasting negative impact? Also the fact that we have more female role models today (the PM, Fire and Police commissioners are all female etc). Would love to hear your thoughts?