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Policies please!!!

(311 Posts)
trisher Mon 23-Oct-17 10:19:06

Dear Gransnetters
I am making a sincere request for any ideas and policies you think might help me and my government cling on to power keep the country on a strong and stable path. We are willing to consider anything. Sajid has already launched a housing idea, Michael is busy searching through Jeremy's bins for cast offs and Boris has promised to keep his nose out of things is focussing on foreign policy. But I am sure some of you have really good ideas. Don't worry about u-turns I am willing to swivel 360% and more if it will keep me in power is in the country's interests. So please send them to me. Desperately Seeking Solutions Theresa @No.10

JessM Sat 11-Nov-17 09:26:46

That the same Penny who lied through her teeth about Turkey imminently joining the EU and was sufficiently disrespectful of Parliament recently to make a speech that was an effectively a childish "dare" ?

durhamjen Fri 10-Nov-17 20:47:08

www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/nov/10/brexit-axel-scheffler-gruffalo-co-creator-and-eu-illustrators-draw-for-europe

Perhaps another policy will be to stay in the EU, so you don't upset all the children in the country. You don't want to do that, do you?

durhamjen Fri 10-Nov-17 20:19:39

Who is we, if you don't mind me asking?
How many Philips do you have dinner with - and which ones?

trisher Fri 10-Nov-17 20:09:19

Oh now come on I got rid of Priti Patel- doesn't that show I can be decisive? And now we have the delightful Penny Mordaunt in her place. She appeared on that diving programme "Splash" you know, so if they can have a reality show host as President in the US who knows about PM? We were discussing clamping down on Tax dodgers at dinner dj it is going to take some time as some people are still moving money to safer places

durhamjen Fri 10-Nov-17 19:50:32

By the way, if you really want people to start respecting you again, you could tell/persuade Philip to give the NHS more money in the budget.

www.politics.co.uk/comment-analysis/2017/11/10/brexit-weak-growth-and-an-aging-population-risk-sinking-the

Or have I said that before?

durhamjen Fri 10-Nov-17 19:47:00

Talking about the Daily Mail, how are you getting on with your tax-dodgers charter?

JessM Fri 10-Nov-17 19:33:25

Theresa it's not often you get a FFS on twitter from Ed Milliband, but you did yesterday. It was your night out celebrating Paul Dacre's 25 glorious years with the Daily Mail.
Quite an achievement - he's normally such a nice, polite young man, don't you think?

durhamjen Thu 09-Nov-17 21:02:20

Lots of policies here. You can have a long trip to Iceland to find out about them, and your problems might be over when you get back.

www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/7-iceland-feminist-law-women/

durhamjen Wed 08-Nov-17 20:21:14

Well, Theresa, how about it?
Simon Stevens has done a U-turn. Surely you can do another one.

kittysjones.wordpress.com/2017/11/08/bravo-simon-stevens-for-saying-what-needed-to-be-said/

I love the way Hunt says it wasn't a government policy. It was the policy of all the front-benchers who supported Brexit. That's quite a few of the government.

durhamjen Wed 08-Nov-17 18:40:53

You know what to do, Theresa, if you want any kudos whatsoever from anywhere; get rid.
Telegraph will be quite happy then - maybe.
You need to stop being Theresa Maybe.

trisher Wed 08-Nov-17 10:03:14

H-e-l-p!!! Infamy, Infamy! They've all got it infamy!!

Even the Telegraph is turning against me.

mostlyharmless Wed 08-Nov-17 09:47:30

I don't think our dear PM has time for policies.
Firefighting is all she needs at the moment,

durhamjen Wed 08-Nov-17 08:29:34

We've given her more than her own government and party have. I hope she is suitably grateful.

FarNorth Wed 08-Nov-17 02:00:14

Oh, dj, Theresa came on here asking for policies, so that she'd be sure she was doing what we want.
Do you think we've been confusing her and she still doesn't have any?

durhamjen Tue 07-Nov-17 23:48:13

Before trump went to the far east, he went to Hawaii.
He was greeted with some brilliant signs.

www.indy100.com/article/donald-trump-us-president-welcome-to-kenya-sign-hawaii-protest-barack-obama-8038311

Where would you like him to meet Boris, Theresa?
In Turkey?
Actually, sacking Boris would solve the problem.
It has been said tonight that Priti Patel is unlikely to last til the weekend, so you may as well kill two birds with one stone. I really don't think it matters who you put in their place, as you won't be there too long yourself to carry out your policies.
You do have some, don't you?

durhamjen Tue 07-Nov-17 22:56:46

Vietnam and the Philippines before he goes back to the US next week. Was that the plan, to keep them separated?

durhamjen Tue 07-Nov-17 22:52:56

Theresa, have you forgotten that Donald is in China tomorrow, for a few days, then going to Guam?
I know bcause my grandson reminded me today. He keeps a check on trump because he gets worried that he's going to slide into the UK without us knowing.

mostlyharmless Tue 07-Nov-17 21:35:32

So useful to have a hubby with insider knowledge Theresa.

trisher Tue 07-Nov-17 21:08:03

I'm asking hubby about the tax havens mostlyharmless he has in depth knowledge of the subject and is looking for somewhere to stash his loot has promised to help.
I did ask HRH but she denied knowing anything

mostlyharmless Tue 07-Nov-17 20:55:14

Dear Theresa
I'm so glad you're back! The country has been falling apart in the last week or so without you.
I'm sure you can restore order in the ranks, or in the cabinet at least. The tax havens may take a bit longer to sort.

trisher Tue 07-Nov-17 20:54:09

Oh but Boris and Donald dj twins separated at birth or what? I couldn't resist it.

durhamjen Tue 07-Nov-17 20:09:56

Haven't you sent Boris to the US to talk about Iran tomorrow?
The problem is that the US and Iran means more nuclear discussions. Just hope Boris doesn't agree to anything he shouldn't and upset Iran any more than he has.

trisher Tue 07-Nov-17 19:59:29

Trying to work out where Boris will strike next?
The problem is dj if I sack all the incompetents there'll be no-one left (and who was that shouting "Start with yourself"?)
Telly you could always move North I'm told they have lots of room.

durhamjen Tue 07-Nov-17 19:54:15

Impact assessment? What are they?

Telly Tue 07-Nov-17 17:57:56

Stop wasting your time trying to negotiate with the EU, there is never going to be a negotiated agreement unless with give in to most of their demands. Have a look at development policy and ensure that every new housing development contains an impact assessment on local infrastructure. This is especially needed in the south east which is grid locked at certain times of the day. Or if a car breaks down. Or a centimetre of snow dusts the ground!