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Talking about brexit

(98 Posts)
varian Fri 15-Dec-17 15:44:28

I just wonder when and how it is OK to discuss brexit and when it is not.

I am a Liberal Democrat and like all of my extended family and close friends, I voted Remain. I live in a village which was split 50:50.

I do realise that not everyone cares as much about politics as we do and we do have to get along with folk, but sometimes brexit rears its ugly head.

Today I was at the funeral of a lovely old man, a fellow Liberal Democrat and ardent Remainer and at the wake I inadvertently got into a political discussion with a member of his family.

She came across as a very likeable person but she was a Tory, an enthusiastic brexiter and a big fan of Nigel Farage and Jacob Rees-Mogg. She said she was delighted about brexit but we shouldn't take it seriously. It was all good fun. I am afraid I told her I did not agree and got into a bit of an argument.

She seemed too well educated to be a Daily Mail reader, I suspect she was a Telegraph reader. She was a middle aged housewife with a husband who appeared to earn a lot of money and she had wholeheartedly bought into all this "bring back control" propaganda.

She probably dismissed me as some sort of loonie leftie. I probably should not have got into that discussion at all.

GracesGranMK2 Sat 16-Dec-17 09:00:48

Leavers are destroying our country. Remainers have a right to be angry.

Leavers feel you have a right to be angry even though they have the won the right to do this; that is perverse.

We have, since the referendum, had an election which, while agreeing we have to negotiate leaving denied May the strength to bully through a hard Brexit. Just as those who wanted to remain have to adapt to the overall wish of the referendum, so must leavers adapt to the wish of the election. Democracy means we can change our minds.

This will divide our country and our union if leavers do not realise they are not 'right' they just hold an opinion agreed by 37% of the country.

Bridgeit Sat 16-Dec-17 09:01:16

Well put GG,and don't forget the saying ' choose your battles' we don't always have to react. Sometimes a simple hmmmm ,is enough to stop or change a conversation . Or just like we do with children , distraction , perhaps another time say something like 'Oh sorry to interrupt you I think I have just spotted a long last relative over there' then run for the hills or let the person run ??

GracesGranMK2 Sat 16-Dec-17 09:18:41

Thank you Bridgeit. My second reply (I assume you were reply to the first)was because those politically opposed to Varian's view, used her really useful post as a stick to beat her with.

This was a difficult position to be in and could happen - because of the general levels of anger or self-righteousness - to anyone. I have even been accosted by someone when buying a newspaper who expected me to agree with the headline of the DM she was buying with a "well we all think that don't we' type of remark.

On GN some people cannot even politely discuss the difficulties this division has made; they have to shout their political stance - and as Varian did in her difficult conversation I felt someone should disabuse them of the feeling they are right and remind them theirs is just one opinion.

varian Sat 16-Dec-17 09:34:41

I am well aware of the fact ghat other folk have different views and we have to accept them as we live alongside them.
.
Everyone in our village knows we are LibDems as we put up posters and deliver leaflets. Some folk who may actually be quite moderate Tory supporters pretend to have much more extreme right wing views to try to wind us up and pick a fight but we can spot that a mile off and have a choice selection of retorts. We don't rise to the bait.

When you meet new folk, I agree that it is best not to launch into a political discussion. At the wake the lady asked how I knew the deceased. When I said it was through the LibDems, she immediately launched into the subject of brexit and kept saying how thrilled about it all. She knew that her late relative was not just LibDem, but a member of the local committee and had obviously enjoyed arguing with him. I'm not sure whether she exaggerated her views when she said how fantastic Nigel Farage and Jacob Rees Mogg were and how super it was going to be when we became a free country, etc., but I'm afraid I told her I did not agree.

funny responses to that

varian Sat 16-Dec-17 09:36:54

Please ignore the last line. This tablet has a mind of its own!

Day6 Sat 16-Dec-17 10:12:37

GGMk2 - "if leavers do not realise they are not 'right' ".

That is elitist. It's not about right and wrong. It was about choice. We had a choice, all of us. We had a vote.

Without getting embroiled in the whys and wherefores here, there were reasons for people to want us to break away from Brussels and those reasons were many, varied and valid. Many of us read around the subject and were not gullible, or ignorant and solely influenced by newspaper headlines as you'd like to imagine.

Since then there has been such dreadful grudge-holding hostility directed at Leavers by Remainers who cannot accept the democracy of one person, one vote. Is bigot a term that applies?

Do you oppose democracy? Are you unsure as to what extent it should be respected as a political vehicle? What is revealing is this open and hysterical contempt of Leavers by Remainers. Half the electorate wanted out. Doctors, businessmen, teachers, lawyers, nurses, journalists, lorry drivers, train drivers, farmers and shop owners voted OUT. Such people are your your neighbours, your family and your friends. They had a choice - we all did.

Day6 Sat 16-Dec-17 10:27:56

Oh and Varian, I fully agree that it is annoying that people assume that I agree with them, on any number of subjects. Some people do assume that their view is a universal one, and of course it's not.

You were in a difficult situation at a funeral. I think in some social situations the best thing to do is change the subject or move away. I have to steer clear of certain subjects when my SIL visits. We agree on very little and she gets heated very quickly. I don't like confrontation, or conflict although I will stand my ground as a matter of principle, but even then if I sense tempers are going to flare I extricate myself from the conversation or try to change the subject. (I do quite like the phrase my then teenagers used a decade or so ago "Peace out man....")

GracesGranMK2 Sat 16-Dec-17 10:36:27

That is elitist

It is not elitist Day6. None of us are right or wrong we all just have opinions we believe in. For some, the reasoning makes them think we should leave and to some it make them think we shouldn't and those views are shifting all the time.

Please do not attribute things to me that I did not say just to try and make an argument. I will not bite.

Whatever opinion we hold we are entitled to continue to try and persuade others and put our case.

Saying I have a grudge-holding hostility will not offend me - I simply think less of your reasoning.

It appears I know more about British Parliamentary democracy than you. I am content to keep it not to over-ride it.

37% wanted out and it was only advisory.

jura2 Sat 16-Dec-17 11:21:17

Indeed GG- people wanted their Sovereign British Democracy back - and now they want to destroy it. It makes no sense. The UK has a very long tradition of Parliamentary Democracy, and not a Direct One - which is based on us electing MPs to represent us at the GVT - and this is not and has never ever been, based on Referendums, which are and always have been, advisory. David Cameron had not right whatsoever to promise to the electorate that it would be implemented - as it is totally agains the principles of our Sovereign, British, Parliamentary Democracy.

Even in Switzerland- where the systems is based on public Referedums which are binding- the VERY close result in feb 2014 on the limits to immigration - has resulted in such catastrophic effects on Switzerland in so many ways- that the GVT has not yet implemented it - and is trying to find a way, nearly 3 years later- to implement it in a limited form that will reduce the negative effects - on industry, financial services, massive research projects and institutions, security, Universities, development, etc, etc.

So both countries have a TOTALLY different political system- and even where a Referendum is binding - when the effects are shown to be cataclysmic - anything is done to minimise the negative, catastrophic even, effects.

Day6 Sat 16-Dec-17 11:43:51

" Please do not attribute things to me that I did not say just to try and make an argument. I will not bite."

I quoted you verbatim GGmk2. I see however you have inverted commas around your 'right', so by the same token Remainers weren't right either. We agree on that.

I was not looking for you to 'bite'.

Ha...37% wanted out. Still a greater proportion than those who wanted to remain. That's a clever ploy. It does not mean that 67% wanted to Remain.

Nearly 47 million people were entitled to vote and approximately three quarters of them turned out to do so. More people voted to leave than to stay. You didn't get the outcome you were looking for and have whined ever since

durhamjen Sat 16-Dec-17 12:17:03

It certainly doesn't, as 37+67 is greater than 100%

Day6 Sat 16-Dec-17 12:38:24

63 %
typo.

Tegan2 Sat 16-Dec-17 13:14:15

Can I make it clear that, if anyone mentions the name Farage at my funeral, I shall come can and haunt them for eternity....#justsaying

Baggs Sat 16-Dec-17 13:22:02

Even if they were only saying you were allergic to him? ?

durhamjen Sat 16-Dec-17 13:29:43

Funny how people use the word typo to mean any sort of mistake.

Tegan2 Sat 16-Dec-17 14:27:23

According to his sob story in the Fail he's separated, skint and can't leave his home for fear of nasty comments. Tired of all the publicity etc. Had to remortgage his £600,000 house. My heart bleeds for him....

durhamjen Sat 16-Dec-17 14:46:06

Perhaps he should have to move somewhere smaller, you know, for the price that my MP gets slated for.

lemongrove Sat 16-Dec-17 14:54:18

GG you are entirely wrong that anyone has used Varian’s OP as ( you say) ‘a stick to beat her with’ because we may hold an opposing view, and I hope that Varian can see that.I certainly have tried to be constructive, but like some others, think a funeral is one of those occasions where you keep quiet if a relative starts any conversation that could turn awkward.

GracesGranMK2 Sat 16-Dec-17 15:44:53

I find some of the right wing press really poisonous as, I'm afraid are some of the comments on here. Calling people Traitors on the front page of a newspaper, when we know exactly what that means, is so divisive that people have been encouraged to send death threats to MPs. The use of this kind of language is both sad and shameful.

I would put with this the idea that "the people" have voted. No, it was not the will of all the people - it was the will of 37% of the people of this country. I would accept that anything between 10% and 20% might want the hard Brexit some of you crave but that does not reflect the will of "the people". The 37% do not represent me or many others and I too am one of the "people"

God did not come down and say "bless you my children, you shall have exactly the brexit you want". An advisory referendum took place but it did not decide that we should leave; Parliament decided we should.

varian Sat 16-Dec-17 16:35:30

Actually it was only the will of about 26% of the people. Quite apart from younger folk (some of whom would be able to vote elsewhere) other people who were disenfranchised included many Britons living in the EU and ALL EU nationals living in the UK, including my German friend who has lived here for more than twenty-five years, working, paying taxes and contributing to British life in many ways. She is now planning to leave because she no longer feels welcome.

Greta Sat 16-Dec-17 16:38:27

If the 3 million EU-nationals in the UK had been given the right to vote I think the referendum result would have been different. That right was denied us.

varian Sat 16-Dec-17 16:47:20

It is utterly shameful that the vote was denied to the very people who would be most affected.

lemongrove Sat 16-Dec-17 17:24:27

GG you say ‘I find some of the right wing press really poisonous’....
Yes, I can see that but the next part of your sentence...’as ,I’m afraid are some of the comments on here’ ! Really? where?

lemongrove Sat 16-Dec-17 17:29:33

Greta you can’t seriously expect a vote as an EU national living in the UK!
That would have skewed the vote heavily in favour of Remaining ....the vote was only for UK citizens.
After all, which EU national would have voted to Leave.
The referendum had to be fair.

Greta Sat 16-Dec-17 18:15:16

lemongrove, I think those EU nationals who have lived here for many years, worked and therefore contributed to the British economy, paid their taxes and NI contributions should have had the right to vote in the Referendum.
I do know EU nationals (with dual citizenship) who voted leave.