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Mother blames school

(63 Posts)
vampirequeen Mon 29-Jan-18 18:29:45

A sad story. A dad who looked after the children whilst his wife worked away sadly died in bed. The children were alone with his body for several hours.

The mother is now blaming the school for the trauma her children suffered by being left alone with the body because they didn't make more effort to get in touch with her when there was no answer from the home telephone.

I feel sorry for this lady and it's a very sad story but I don't see how the school can be held responsible. They phoned the home number to see why the older child was absent. There was no reply. What were they supposed to do? The father wasn't an ill man...his death was totally unexpected. Why would the school think it was anything other than the child having a day off school for some reason?

maryeliza54 Wed 31-Jan-18 23:01:07

I expect the schools in Dubai and Sweden are somewhat better resourced than the average state primary in this country.

Maggiemaybe Wed 31-Jan-18 23:26:13

Not really. As I said earlier, I worked in a primary school where an automatic texting system kicked in if a child did not arrive at school and no reason had been given. This was linked to an electronic registration system brought in at least ten years ago. Not labour intensive and not expensive, and I know that many schools have similar systems.

Maggiemaybe Wed 31-Jan-18 23:44:03

Strike the not really. smile I’m sure they are better resourced, but a decent electronic registration and communications system doesn’t cost the earth, shouldn’t be brushed aside as an optional extra.

eazybee Thu 01-Feb-18 09:08:00

'decent electronic registration and communications system doesn’t cost the earth'. First persuade your Head to spend money on something decent when it doesn't save him work, and they do always break down.
The onus should still be on parents to see their, repeat their, children arrive safely at school

maryeliza54 Thu 01-Feb-18 09:50:46

We are hearing if schools where teachers are providing basic materials out of their own pockets, where parents were asked to fund equipment for playtime - 10 years ago school budgets were better than now. As long as schools have emergency contact numbers for when there is a problem with a child, and they do their best then to contact these numbers, then they are fulfilling their duty. As for absences, they have to follow the Government rules on how these are authorised and reported. Having a system in place for every eventuality however vanishingly rare seems a bit of overkill.

Maggiemaybe Thu 01-Feb-18 10:13:11

First persuade your Head to spend money on something decent when it doesn't save him work, and they do always break down.
Well, yes, that's what I did. Put forward a solid case for a system that will save staff time and money and promote child welfare and even the most Luddite headteacher shouldn't need persuading. And no, they don't all break down.

10 years ago school budgets were better than now
See above, maryeliza. Sometimes you've to spend a bit to save a lot (in time, as well as in cash terms).

Yes, a school may be "fulfilling their duty" if they ring the numbers given (though in this case they only rang one). Tough luck though on the child who's sitting all day next to a dead parent, or one totally out of it on heroin, or who has been left alone in a cold house all night. Those who think these scenarios are rare need to consider that in some areas they most certainly are not.

Eloethan Thu 01-Feb-18 22:10:37

I think it's rather unfair that this woman's views have been misrepresented. I saw the interview. She was perfectly calm and rational and certainly was not blaming the school. Why is it that people are always ready to pillory someone who has suffered such a tragedy?

Saying that children should be taught to dial 999 or get help in another way is a good idea but not all children will be taught to do this, and some - like the poor little boy with learning disabilities - wouldn't be able to.

In my view, there should always be a follow-up if a child isn't at school and there has been no message from a parent/carer or no response to the school's request for an explanation of the absence. I realise that schools have too much to do already - and I am in no way criticising them - but this could be a case of life or death.

maryeliza54 Thu 01-Feb-18 23:32:17

That’s a bit melodramatic Eloe. What should the school be doing - ringing every hour? Calling the police? How many cases are there where a child doesn’t turn up for school on one day and it’s a matter of life or death? What about the holidays and weekends - who would be checking then?

Jalima1108 Thu 01-Feb-18 23:42:46

I think it's rather unfair that this woman's views have been misrepresented. I saw the interview. She was perfectly calm and rational and certainly was not blaming the school.
That's what I saw too.

On our news this evening there has been the story of a little boy with Downs Syndrome who was put on the school bus by his parent, didn't arrive at school - because no-one had noticed he was the only child still on the bus which was then parked and left locked for the whole school day. Poor little boy, he couldn't speak and couldn't undo his seatbelt and was left in the cold for over 6 hours. There was supposed to be an escort on the bus but I don't know what happened. There is an investigation going on.

Perhaps a system such as Maggiemaybe suggests would have prevented this happening.

MissAdventure Thu 01-Feb-18 23:55:12

It seems a bit 'hit and miss'. I think a more across the board, in every school approach might be better.

Eloethan Fri 02-Feb-18 01:42:00

maryeliza As far as I'm concerned, one little boy starving to death next to his dead mother and two little girls lying next to their dead father for many hours is reason enough to try and ensure that all unexplained school absences are followed up, if necessary by the police (and I'm absolutely NOT blaming the schools in either case - a proper procedure should be in place).

I don't accept that because these are very rare incidents nothing further needs to be done, and think your comments in respect of these two awful tragedies are rather flippant.

Baggs Fri 02-Feb-18 06:00:54

I think maryeliza's point that having a system in place that covers every eventuality being nigh on impossible is a valid point. There is always something a system won't have predicted and accounted for. I think me's true point is simply that not all tragedies can be avoided however hard we try.

If the current system is found to be wanting in ways that can be remedied, such as having two numbers to call, then efforts should be made to apply that remedy. I've always been asked for two numbers. Before mobile phones were common, you gave one or more work numbers and/or the number of a friend whose permission one had sought. The last was mainly about having someone who could collect your child from school though.