Privileged Pain

Chaitriona Ordinary people with children with disabilities hoped that because David Cameron had a child who was disabled he would be more understanding of how the government’s policy of austerity was making things particularly hard, in some cases unbearable

I am talking very generally now and realise I will get flamed for saying this.

But what you are saying in effect is that politicians should base their policies on their own personal circumstances.
They should not.
They should approach each problem they have to deal with from what is known as the ‘veil of ignorance’ which means that they assess it without any prejudice or prior special knowledge. They have to look at how a law or policy will affect everyone, not just a particular group in society.

I’m not defending the Coalition Government or the Conservative Government’s austerity policy at all.

I’m just saying that to blame David Cameron personally for the effects it had on disabled children because he had a disabled child himself is wrong and unfair.

Ordinary people with children with disabilities hoped that because David Cameron had a child who was disabled he would be more understanding of how the government’s policy of austerity was making things particularly hard, in some cases unbearable, for many parents and children in this very vulnerable position and as Prime Minister would do something to mitigate the effects of austerity upon them. But he did not. Being privileged does not protect people from the pain of having a child with disabilities or losing a child. And we should be compassionate to anyone in that situation. However having a child with disabilities and losing that child does not exempt the parent from their own moral responsibilities or David Cameron from his responsibility for the effects of his policies as a politician. He did not show compassion for other families with disabled children in a less financially privileged position than him and his personal grief does not absolve him from that.

blue60 I so admire you

trendygran. Yes life has to go on and so does the pain ,

4allweknow so recent , I hope you have support

True , there is no thing as ‘privileged pain’,

Anniebach. I echo. Your words exactly. I lost my younger daughter to suicide 9 and a half years ago, just 16 moths after losing my DH very suddenly. There is no connection between any amount of money an dthe grief felt then -and still now ,even though life has to go on ,somehow.

As a mother of a disabled child myself, I can empathise with ALL those who go through emotional suffering, financial suffering and the daily challenges of trying to do your best by your child.

It is not easy to live with; we worry most about our child's future when we are not around anymore - we try not to dwell on it too much but put things in place so we can be as prepared as possible. We have to jump through hoops to get anything even though money is not an issue for us personally.

The press writing such articles does a huge disservice to all carers, and they should hang their heads in shame. Apalling journalism, if you can call it that.

There is no such thing as 'privileged pain'.

I lost both parents when I was relatively young, but the pain of the l my daughter dying in April is just beyond bearable at times. How can a newspaper relate grief to wealth.

This is a discussion we shouldn't be having. The Guardian was very wrong. There has been an apology.

Money will never help in this situation

Yes Ben Fogle says it all

Slightly off-topic but I found DC's account of the help he had from Sarkozy when his father died very moving.

Phoebes thank you. Just read Ben Fogle's post. Says it all.

As a politician I dislike DC for everything he stood /stands for but for DC, the man, who has suffered such pain from the loss of his child I have compassion.

Funny old world, poor little lad and poor them as a family going through what they did.

I suppose not trying to get him off and on buses and so on would be some " help" to them.

DC, looks like a kindly soul , compared to the ruthless bastards running the show now.

Ben Fogle has put a wonderful post about this horrible comment on Instagram.

I’m with notonan My adult son lost his DLA for a while under the Tories and left us struggling. I have never felt such despair. Couldn’t see a future for either of us. He got it back when we applied for PIP. But I don’t feel sorry for DC at all and I am betting that a lot of people feel the same way.

Again Dinahmo No, no,not in my experience - we lost our first child- a little boy and money or lack of it simply did not feature in our thinking.
Speaking for myself of course . Your experience may be different.

Avid Guardian reader, loathe DC. but this was the pits.

The Guardian is a left wing newspaper (nothing wrong with that, we all know it) but the pretence that it is balanced is ludicrous. Did any right wing paper call the loss of Gordon Brown’s daughter ‘privileged pain’ when he published his memoirs a few years ago?

Well said Avalon.

To call posters (who are giving good reasons why they think the Guardian journalist wrote a vile piece) ‘pearl clutchers’
WWM2 isn’t in line with your usual ‘sympathy and empathy’......or do you reserve that only for what you perceive to be the underdog?
There really is a ‘what does it matter if it happens to a rich Tory’ mentality around, when in fact, the death of your child
Knows no social boundaries where grieving is concerned.

Surely not every family with a very ill child are without an extended family ?

Pain is pain. The agony of losing a child and of having to watch them suffer can NEVER be diminished. It doesn't matter how rich or poor a person is. If you are rich, of course, then you can give your child the very best of care and equipment but you can't save them as David Cameron found out. The people who wrote the editorial have never suffered the pain of losing a child. If they had they would have a lot more empathy and compassion. For once I find myself in agreement with Piers Morgan.

No one has denied that DC's heart was broken when he lost his son. However, there is no denying that having the support that money can buy - cleaners, nanny etc - would enable any parents suffering from the illness and death of a child to better support their surviving children, for example. As we all know, money cannot by happiness but it can buy time. Time to spend with the dying child and also the surviving children.

Tue 17-Sep-19 11:59:06
DC was in a privileged position - he didn't have to worry about his livelihood or taking time to care for his child. Also he was able to buy the support that he needed. Most people in that situation have to worry about those things, in addition to worrying about their child

“Buying support” is a bit spurious when your heart is breaking. .

MawB If you re-read my comment you'll see that I did not say that money eases grief.

LondonGranny you condemn the Guardian and do the very same