young people increasingly say 'NO children'

Apologies, I have just realised I claimed to have posted a link, when in fact it was Baggs who posted it
Senior moment
Sorry

Oops quite a number of population experts disagree with the UN figure and beleive that population growth is slowing down and that peak population will be well before the end of this century.

The main geographical area which still has a high birthrate is Africa.

The idea that only the intelligent should procreate is nonsense.
I'm no expert but I know that we are likely to revert to the average. That's why it's average.

So Shakespeare or Einstein's children were unlikely to be brilliant.

We never intended to have children but had an accidental one. We liked her and had another. We've always been close without being loveydovey and they were a great moral support during DH's illness. My GSs are a constant joy and as two of them have ADHD and one is also autistic I hope I've been a support for them. My two oldest friends chose not to have children. One has just died leaving a husband who has never even learned to cook. The other has been looking after her husband who has a degenerative illness and feels very isolated. I' m not saying you should have children to look after you in your old age, but it seems very sad not to have any close family who might phone from time to time or just send a birthday card.

Since time immemorial people have been saying this.

There has never, ever been a time of total peace when the world looked bright and happy and hopeful for many.

It is what it is, and you are wise to just accept it and get on with life according to your own inate desires: to have or not have children.

As we move away from generations of religious and other persuasions to procreate, more young people who are absolutely not child-orientated are feeling they can say 'no'. Wonderful.

There are far too many children and adults in this world who are suffering from the realisation their parents should never have had them.
It leads to feelings of alienation, bitterness, resentment and all the terrible fall-out those emotions can generate.

If I was a young woman I certainly would not have children. No future for them.

There's one thing that I'll never understand. Why are people without children called 'selfish'? Surely, it's selfish to have them?

My aunt and uncle had none, probably because they couldn't. Mum declared them 'too selfish' and I always wondered why.

The present disinclination to have children is down to several reasons. The world is certainly in a mess and many will choose not to bring children into a world where climate change and the rise of the right wing makes life uncertain. People now choose to spend more years in their chosen career before looking at having children. Women are now mid to late thirties for first babies. Cost, not only having children but university education, holidays and the fact that kids remain at home for far longer. Thank goodness more are choosing no kids. There are too many people in the world, hence the overbuilding everywhere.

I can't imagine not having children. They are my reason to live!
Perhaps people are losing their biological urge to procreate. If so it's a far better way of shrinking the population than killing each other.

There was a time, not all that long ago, when mothers in France and in Germany received a bronze medal for bringing up 4 or more children. So many had died in wars.

I think it is great women now have the choice. Women have always had the burden of guilt for working outside the home, or guilt for not bringing money in if staying home to look after the kids. These days many times it is the woman left holding the baby whilst the dad disappears and pays nothing or pays such a small amount that the woman can’t afford to work.
I totally understand why women are saying no to kids more often now. We need equal pay and for the “chores” to be properly split between mum and dad.

Yes why is that Hetty58 seems that if a woman doesn't want children she is regarded as selfish. The same thing does not apply to men.

I am probably harking back to a forgotten past but I remember my DM saying how lucky we young women were to have the pill. In her day there were only condoms.
yes she could be embarrassing
All four of my grandparents came from enormous families, when 10 children was normal.
I 'm not suggesting we should go back to that. Heaven forbid. but when people say nowadays they can't afford to have a child, I find it strange. Surely love for your partner and a desire to have offspring is a natural instinct - not to do with money.

There are plenty of unwanted children in the world who need to be loved.

Grammaretto- the young people I've talked to recently, and who triggered the question in the OP- never talked about money - but about their concerns for the future the children would inherit.

And yet, when we were young, jobs were plentiful and with proper contracts, protection and a future, cheap housing as % of salary, and 90/100+ % mortages. So many people live in precarity, zero hours contract, no chance of owning a home or rentin a decent one with space. So ...

Sorry I haven't read all the posts so this has probably been said before but my DD and her husband have made the conscious decision not to have children. She has never been particularly maternal but she got married when she was 40 and her husband 50 so in many ways she has left it too late. She always said if she had met someone earlier who desperately wanted children she would have had them but I know she is not a carer. She would have struggled and the decision they have made is right for them. She is especially pleased now when she sees how her brother is constantly tired with his two!

Jura, I have spoken to many young people too and agree that some don't want children, but the majority do. They want a safe future for them more than ever.

We also had the atom bomb fears hanging over us and to be fair most of us wanted small families even in the 1970s. We had the worry of Chernobyl when I was pregnant.

My DS and her partner had a composite family: some of their own and some adopted. That was considered an ideal solution in those days. It wasn't perfect but like all our decisions it is better to make a positive choice than none.

Its their choice. Perhaps not a bad one given the state of the world today

I imagine that most of us on GN are grandparents.

When I became a grandparent I was filled with the most unexpected joy. When I first saw that tiny little soul, my daughter's daughter, I felt a huge surge of emotion. It was just like falling in love at first sight. No-one had ever told me how much I would love my grandchildren.

I believe that I belong to a privileged generation. We have had a good life, free from the experience of war which our parents endured. I want my grandchildren to have lives as good or better.

That is why I am politically engaged to the extent that I am and will, as long as it is still possible, campaign to STOP BREXIT and give our grandchildren a good future as UK citizens within the EU.

Dinahmo

I'm child free. At no time did anyone criticize me for not wanting them. My husband didn't want them either.

Sometimes journalists write articles about how selfish the child free are but if you don't have the desire for them you shouldn't have them.

Once in my life I had a slight twinge when I saw a friend with her son for the first time. He was particularly special because after her first child she had been told she wouldn't be able to have another. They adopted a mixed race child and about 5 or 6 years later she became pregnant. I watched mother and baby and thought that the love between them was probably the most perfect. Ten minutes later sanity kicked in. I'm not a fan of babies and much prefer children when they get to 2 or 3.

When I look around me I see how unhappy many families are. I'm one of four and I haven't seen two of my siblings since my mother's funeral which was more than 4 years ago.
I haven't seen my sister for at least 10 years. None of us have anything in common apart from the fact of our birth. I sometimes read other forums on hear and am saddened by the numbers of people who have fallen out with their children and don't see their grandchildren.

We both get on well with the children of friends that we've known from childhood. I think it's because we have never treated them as children.

Dinahmo's post could have been written about me. I haven't seen my siblings in years, we are not estranged just have nothing in common. Although there's no children, and therefore no Grandchildren, we wouldn't use any term like child free. We are a husband and wife, and have been for fifty two years. The babies that friends have had we have watched grow up, get married, have babies of their own, and always been in touch with them

Friend's children have stayed with us while their parents took a holiday, children have been very much a part of our lives. But often it's assumed that if you don't have your own then you don't like children.

I read either in this thread or another that someone without children was asked: "What will you do when you get old?" That was asked of me by someone, a man, in our social group. I told him that I would probably be in the same nursing home as him. But I wouldn't be the one wistfully staring out of the window waiting for the grown up children to visit. He looked crestfallen, "ain't that the truth," he admitted.

I think this situation now will make a lot of couples think twice before having a family especially the Cost. My mum used to say if you ever waited to be financially ok to have children you’d never have them!

I don’t think child free people or couples are selfish ? Why are they ? Procreation is not a duty.

Actually I think those who describe them as such are a bit sour grapes jealous !

What I don’t get are couples who have children and who are not prepared to give up anything to spend more time with those kids . It’s like they have a list...high powered job tick, flashy cars, tick, designer clothes , tick. Two children privately educated, tick.

My middle son and his wife don't have children and do not intend having any. They have a beautiful 4 bed home in a delightful village, two top of the range cars and a brilliant lifestyle with holidays abroad a couple of times a year, and a good social life with likeminded friends. My eldest son is married with three children and he looks worn out, always stressed, never enough money and a house not really big enough for their needs. When i compare the two it is my eldest son i feel more worried about.

there’re already too many people in the world so I don't blame young people saying they don't want children. it's okay, plus childfree people have always been here, it's just that lately it's okay to say it out loud

buttonjugs oil isn't running out ,WM governments have been telling Scotland that oil is "running out" since the late 1970's.there is a very famous clip of Denis Healey saying just this on Question time to a very young Alex Salmond who did dispute his words .RECENT investigations show that there is up to 150 YEARS of oil in Scottish waters and thats not counting the West coast where we aren't "allowed" to excavate for it ebcause of the Nuclear base .Westminster is still SELLING licenses for oil to be brought up .Who would buy if there wasn't some gaurantee of a decent return?

If I was young now I would think very seriously about having children and probably decide no.
I think the world is in a precarious state and I worry for my GC especially in the wake of Covid which I feel will never go away, I hope I am wrong, but it will have decimated the world economy, which in my personal view, will lead to many conflicts.
A scary scenario.

JennyNotFromTheBlock, (love the name,) you are right about those who choose not to procreate. What was once a contentious subject has become much more acceptable. Now all we need is to win the argument that if you wish to work past the retirement age you are not a pariah for doing so.

annsixty, Covid19 may linger in pockets here and there, but it won't be the threat that was originally. You only have to look at recent history, the so called Spanish flu pandemic of 1918 claim 50 million lives worldwide, that too is still with us but the risks have diminished.

Our lifestyles have changed, not only do we eat better and have much better medical care, previous generations never had the level of sanitation that we take for granted.