young people increasingly say 'NO children'

Neither of our DDs wanted children, DD1's DH wasn't sure but at 39 she had DGD, they won't have any more.

DD2 has never wanted children and at 37 she is even more determined she doesn't want children.

I just feel so grateful to have one grandchild and bless her she is the only grandchild to her other GP and a step GP.

As for over population ? Not an easy issue to resolve. But each to there own I guess.

But Luckygirl we should have some impulse control over our instincts surely.

Yes I had children, but my instincts wanted more. I never stopped being broody (still am despite peri menopause!) But my HEAD knows it would be a terrible idea so I stopped at a low number

I do not think it is useful to debate whether to have children or not - it is an atavistic urge, an instinct. Some have it, some do not. There is never and never has been a good time to have a child, if you sit down and do the financial calculation.

I am aware of the future problems that are brewing for the planet; but nature will out when it comes to reproduction. It is the purpose and aim of all species; indeed some animals die after reproducing, having completed their allotted task.

All slightly bonkers really, but we have to accept nature as it is.

I had children because I wanted them - but stuck to two. As it happened, neither of my sisters had children, so our numbers are falling very satisfactorily.

I was idly glancing through the death notices in our local paper yesterday and noticed how few grand children many of the deceased had.

Sometime ago there was another thread where global population was discussed. I did a bit of research and discovered that of roughly 200 countries in the world nearly half had birth rates close to replacement level only, or below. In fact as far as population and land area was concerned, most of the world and its population live in countries where population is not growing by natural increase. Coloured maps showed that the only geographical area where population is still growing rapidly is in Africa.

Some experts are already questioning the United Nations forecasts for peak population and saying it may well be lower than they forecast.

I adore my two granddaughters but am very fearful for their future. Climate change and the continuation of capitalism are both things that need to be stopped or at least greatly reduced. And oil is set to run out in around 20 years, so unless we invest more than we do in renewable energy there are going to be severe problems around the world. It scares me how long there have been humans and how it is only in the last 200 years we have created the technology to destroy the world, potentially. I definitely regret having children simply because I am so worried.

I'm child free. At no time did anyone criticize me for not wanting them. My husband didn't want them either.

Sometimes journalists write articles about how selfish the child free are but if you don't have the desire for them you shouldn't have them.

Once in my life I had a slight twinge when I saw a friend with her son for the first time. He was particularly special because after her first child she had been told she wouldn't be able to have another. They adopted a mixed race child and about 5 or 6 years later she became pregnant. I watched mother and baby and thought that the love between them was probably the most perfect. Ten minutes later sanity kicked in. I'm not a fan of babies and much prefer children when they get to 2 or 3.

When I look around me I see how unhappy many families are. I'm one of four and I haven't seen two of my siblings since my mother's funeral which was more than 4 years ago.
I haven't seen my sister for at least 10 years. None of us have anything in common apart from the fact of our birth. I sometimes read other forums on hear and am saddened by the numbers of people who have fallen out with their children and don't see their grandchildren.

We both get on well with the children of friends that we've known from childhood. I think it's because we have never treated them as children.

I wouldn`t have wanted to be without a "family" never into little babies, family.. I love young kids, always wanted to be a teacher... they are so uplifting.. but then,, times have changed, (stating the obvious) and discipline ain`t what it used to be.

DH not DS

Jaylucy, my DS and I sat down to do our sums in 1985 to work out if we could afford kids! It didn’t take much working out and it’s a pity more people don’t do it.

My brother doesn't have children but he doesn't have a partner, either. Otherwise, there's no one in our family who doesn't have children.

Understandable notanan sometimes our heads rule our hearts and vice versa.

For me not having children is more logical/sensible/responsible

But my selfishness/heart/instincts won

The voice of reason again MOnica well put.
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My DD made her decision on the basis that she was too uncompromising in character to ever manage to live with anyone and for the same reason did not want to have to adjust her life to cope with having children.

However she loves and enjoys the company of her niece and nephew, especially now they are on the brink of their teens.

I think this dichotomy between being parents or child-free is very overegged. Not every voluntarily single person lives a wildly sybaritic life of partying and travelling, or wants too and many parents live interesting and explorative lives to match any singleton.

What Urmonstongran said.

My dd was 38 before she had her first, I was 67. I never asked whether she wanted children, though I though she probably would, nor did I yearn for them. I had vowed never to be like the mother of a friend of hers, endlessly bewailing the lack of Gdcs - her poor dd did want children, she just hadn't found the right man to have them with. So it was doubly upsetting for her, esp. as time went on.

I don't think my other dd and her dp will have children, they have a nice life together, do lots of things they wouldn't be able to with little ones.
Each to their own.

Having said that, I suspect that not a few who say they don't want any when in their early-mid 20s, might change their minds as the late 30s loom, and they see time beginning to run out.
I know of one or two like that.

My son and his partner made the decision not to have children and before they met, his previous relationship ended because she wanted children and it's something my son has always been firm on..I think she thought/hoped he'd change his mind.
Sometimes I do feel a little sad about it as he's absolutely wonderful with children and one of those individuals that children actually gravitate towards but it's his choice.

The thing is though Chestnut that what you’ve never had you more than likely don’t miss. I became a grandma at 57y but I wasn’t yearning for one. Now I have them I adore them!

True MOnica - a huge contribution to the solution made by our daughters. I’m very proud of her for ‘putting her money where her mouth is’ so to speak. She does so on many issues regarding climate change to be honest.

I know a lot of people my age who have no grandchildren. Their grown up children are having a whale of a time, travelling, working abroad etc. But it's rather sad when a family line ends. Personally, I would be very unhappy if I didn't have my grandchildren.

I have both in my family- those who wanted and those who chose not to. The no children unit seem to gave a much more interesting life compared to the others. For those who do choose to have children and yes nowadays there is a large element of choice can't understand why people go on procreating past a couple of children. World over population doesn't seem a concern.

My DD decided to stay childless and single in her teens.

Like you we have 2 grandchildren, whom we love. But by only having two we are having it both ways, the joy of being grandparents and knowing that if future generations continue in this pattern we are contributing to a halving, or more of global population

I love my children and Grandchildren very much but given my time again I would choose to remain childless.

I really don't blame the younger generation for making that decision either.

Which is exactly the reason our eldest daughter and her partner say (42y) that they didn’t want a child MOnica - she said there’s plenty already in the world, bless.

Selfishly I’m glad our younger daughter and her husband have 2 children as I adore being a grandma!

Since the main cause of global warming is the sheer number of people in the world, not having children is a public good as it means they are not contributing to population growth.

Apparently when universities have done surveys, we are indeed happier before we have children and after they fly the nest. But being free to do lots of things may not be all there is to having a life with meaning which allows us to flourish. I am not in any way saying people should have children - it is a choice. But if we do have children we are giving to others, beyond our own wishes and needs, and that does seem to have meaning and be worthwhile. Of course there are wondefully happy times when we have children! But it isn't all picnics and stories by the fireside, as we find out. However, I wonder how many older people (those who have not had painful rifts in their families) regret having children? Or regret having grandchildren? For me, and I guess others, these are wonderful happy parts of my life and it is important to me that they will still be there when my life is over..