On a more serious note, I am reminded of an incident when I was a naive child, which I have never forgotten. I was playing with two of my friends, both slightly older and taller than me. They were turning somersaults over a 3 barred farm gate and laughing at my failed attempts to do the same. In retaliation I shouted at them that it was "ill bred" to be turning somersaults and showing their knickers for all the world to see. They called me all sorts of names and were really upset. One was crying. They ran off and left me saying they would never play with me again. I went home alone and told my big sister what had happened. She pointed out to me that both my friends were illegitimate, a term I did not understand, though I did know that one girl was being brought up by an Aunt and Uncle rather than a Mum and Dad, while the other had a Mum and a Granny. (This was just after the war and there were many children in the same situation)
Once I understood I was horrified at the hurt I had inadvertently caused. I had used "ill bred" thinking it meant a lack of good manners or decorum. I certainly learned that it is for the offended person to decide whether the words used are offensive to them, rather than for me to say that my words were not offensive because I did not intend them to be so.
