Hands up, how many of us have an unplanned pregnancy?

paddyanne, what a good woman to be able to appreciate the love between you MIL and daughter. You're right though, remarks like that may get put away but they surface again x

My first 2, very close together, were unplanned but much loved. This was just before family planning clinics started. All there was sheaths for men or withdrawal. And you know what men are like! (apologies to any men reading).
After that I got a 'cap', then later, the pill. Then my 3rd, our lovely daughter, who was planned.
Sterilised at 50.

Chocolatepudding these remarks stay with you dont they? My MIL s pearl of wisdom when my daughter was dying was "maybe the next one will be a boy" She had been so sure this baby was a boy she had knitted everything in shades of blue and was desperate for a boy.
Of course when the next baby was another girl she was abit put out but over the years they have been so close and love each other dearly.That remark stays ingrained in my heart .

Mine were all planned. On the other hand I believe from something my mother said that I myself am the result of a ‘happy accident’. At least I hope it was happy. I always felt loved!

I conceived when engaged after thinking I would find it hard to conceive because of taking youthful chances for a year. I had been on the pill, but when my mother found out she stopped me going to see the GP as he was known to our family. 9 months later, a much wanted baby.

I had a mis at 25 and an ectopic at 38, but sadly no more. Have 5 DGC.

Hetty58 Mon 02-Nov-20 07:50:06
All contraception has a failure rate.

Back when I got snipped I was told that we must use other contraception until the sperm count was zero. It's usually a month or two but as the clinic advised, a year is not impossible.

I was also informed of recanalisation, that can happen when the vas deferens grow back to create a new connection, causing the vasectomy to naturally reverse itself.

So any chap who thinks he's firing blanks should check his powder once in a while.

I am Spartacus - although more careless, as we were just starting to think another baby would perhaps be nice.

Congratulations Franbern

well, my husband was told by his specialist that 'it was highly unlikely he would ever be able to father a child' due to his MS.
That was in 1968. At the end of 1969 our first one was born, next one in 1970, third in 1972 and then early in 1975 the last two arrived just six minutes apart.
So delighted about all of them.

Two of our four were (happy) accidents. All contraception has a failure rate. (I used to say that I only had to look at my husband to get pregnant!)

My darling girl was most definitely unplanned - I was 17 when I discovered I was pregnant - fast forward 32 years and she is not just a fabulous young woman but my best friend and shopping buddy -

I have 4 adult children who are all by the ex! 1 of them was planned. None were unwanted

Thank you all for your kind words. I could say more but I had better start another thread.

chocolatepudding such a sad story. Xxx

How sad chocolate pudding. It is tragic to lose a child. I wonder how your judgemental MIL felt.

your post brought tears to my eyes chocolate pudding. Your comment that you 'learnt a lot about life in that year' rings true to me. I was blessed with three healthy babies those years that teach us so much about life stay with us.

I am Spartacus - we got married when I was 4 months pregnant.
I will never forget MIL visiting me in the maternity ward 3 days after DD was born. Did she give me a piece of her mind, never mind all the other mums and visitors.
I will never forget the kindness of the mums and the nurses who comforted me afterwards.
DD was loved and accepted by so many people/family without judgement, sadly she died suddenly when she was 7 months old.
I learnt a lot about life in that year.

You aren't alone in that thought Urmston. My wise grannie reassured her daughter, my mum, not to worry, that babies bring their own love with them

Nope. 2 planned pregnancies. In fact nearly didn’t want a second baby as I loved our first SO much I worried I couldn’t love a second as much! Silly me.

5 children + 1 miscarriage, none of them planned, but I wouldn`t part with any of them. Then at 28 I decided no more, and was sterilised.

I am Spartacus!

I had a coil fitted for many years without any mishaps, but then I had pregnancy, afterwards I was sterilised even though I was going through the menopause.

Yes contraceptives do fail, I think most of us know or may have experience of that. My first pregnancy occurred when I had a coil. I was in my early twenties and was living with my first husband before we married, certainly not planning a family at that time, that pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage, possibly due to the coil expelling the foetus I had to have a d and c afterwards. My second pregnancy, my older child wasn't planned either, 2nd husband and I had just got together, I wanted to work a bit longer, but my husband said at the time, having two children already from first marriage, "if you want a family you'd better get on with it " My third pregnancy was the only planned one, although I think I had a very early miscarriage in between my children which wasn't planned, but would have been okay for me at that time if it had progressed.

This thread has confirmed that many 'ordinary, hard working, sensible people who plan' have contraception failures or unwanted pregnancies. Most of us have been blessed and fallen in love with our babies, struggled through financially and 30 plus years later can't imagine life without that surprise baby.
I expect many of us have less positive experiences, may have had no choice but make the decision to end the pregnancy. I'm not expecting anyone to write about that.

FunOma, yes contraception can and does fail miserably at times. Plus, some of those much wanted babies face the fate you describe for some unwanted pregnancies. The level of neglect and abuse toward children all over the world, as well as here in the Uk is beyond measure or belief. It's great to see so many happy endings here. Also, confirmation that it can happen to anyone, not just "the feckless" because so many of us are spartaca.

Girl & boy,both planned,third pregnancy unplanned,twin girls,so 4 children in 4 years,worked out brilliantly,although tons of work,they always had someone to play with and are still really close———-more children means more grandchildren !