Is MILF an acceptable term?

Not true, nor following logically from what I said.

Baggs if being sexy and hot was a prerequisite to finding a partner to reproduce with there would be an awful lot of single childless people in the world.

GrannyGravy13

Surely it all comes down to educating males that females are far more than sexy and hot and that they should think about the language they use referring to/describing females.

I also think that females should be equally aware of their language when referring to males.

Yes, but being sexy is actually pretty important for a species that reproduces sexually.

If males need educating about women, why aren't we doing it? Rhetorical question. I think most males know perfectly well what women are and what they are "worth". How many gransnetters have husbands or partners who don't?

Surely it all comes down to educating males that females are far more than sexy and hot and that they should think about the language they use referring to/describing females.

I also think that females should be equally aware of their language when referring to males.

Baggs

trisher

The Labour candidate for Hartlepool tweetedyears ago that someone was a MILF. Is he a misogynist or just a badly informed young man, and is he suitable as a Labour candidate?

I don't think it's necessarily misogynist. Some men use it as [what they see as] a compliment. It's a way of saying someone looks sexy and 'hot' which, when you consider how some women actually make an effort to look sexy and hot, is not all that outrageous. I'm sure some people would take it as a compliment in the same way others would take a "You look nice" as a compliment.

Disclaimer: I know zilch about the Labour candidate for Hartlepool but I've seen MILF used apparently inoffensively.
As usual, context matters. I think personalities probably matter too, as in who says it about (or to) whom.

Just for once, Baggs, I agree with you.

And, TBH, I don't think that that acronym would greatly bother many of the voters of Hartlepool.

He was standing for the Crime Commisoners post in the local elections and had done a lot of campaigning, especially in Hartlepool, but what happens to that work now, and who will stand in his place, we haven't had any answers yet, but to stand down at this late date to my mind isn't good for anyone.

It would be unfair for it to give a whole town a bad name. It could certainly reflect badly on the man who used it, even though it was years ago, as this thread would witness.

I think it could give Hartlepool a bad name, and considering the sitting MP has just resigned because of sexual harrassment allegations.

trisher

The Labour candidate for Hartlepool tweetedyears ago that someone was a MILF. Is he a misogynist or just a badly informed young man, and is he suitable as a Labour candidate?

I don't think it's necessarily misogynist. Some men use it as [what they see as] a compliment. It's a way of saying someone looks sexy and 'hot' which, when you consider how some women actually make an effort to look sexy and hot, is not all that outrageous. I'm sure some people would take it as a compliment in the same way others would take a "You look nice" as a compliment.

Disclaimer: I know zilch about the Labour candidate for Hartlepool but I've seen MILF used apparently inoffensively.
As usual, context matters. I think personalities probably matter too, as in who says it about (or to) whom.

I was disappointed to hear that any candidate would use language like this about women even if, by today's standards, it is quite mild. IMO we have, over the recent decades, allowed language used in all sorts of quarters, venues and situations to become much cruder and coarse. Expressions like this have been 'normalised'. I sometimes wonder if people in the street, shops etc know any other word except the 'F...' word. It seems we have reached a situation where the 'shock' factor in films, books, speech has to be even more extreme than the one before to attract customers. But then of course, people don't want censorship as they are adult enough to decide for themselves. I remember the days when a man would have silenced these types of comment with the expression "Ladies present' or 'not in front of the children. But that in itself opens up another can of worms.

nanna8

I have a vision of a pale faced bespectacled male poring through old Facebook/Twitter accounts looking for comments like these. Equivalent to masturbation really. There are some sickos around.

Whereas writing them in the first place is a sign of .....?...

I have a vision of a pale faced bespectacled male poring through old Facebook/Twitter accounts looking for comments like these. Equivalent to masturbation really. There are some sickos around.

jane thanks for correction re the parachuting. I got hold of wrong end of that stick. Re Suzanne Moore - she wasn’t sacked but eventually felt she simply had to resign because of the losing battle she had waged valiantly for ages re their position on trans issues.They basically made her position untenable - I’m surprised she stuck it so long - she’s a doughty woman.

Nothing new about misogyny at The Guardian. Thirty years ago a very senior journalist there complained bitterly to me about how badly she and her females colleagues were treated compared with the men.

I think it has taken some time for us all to realise that tweeting, facebook etc are not like having conversations with friends, but are actually putting your thoughts into print.

I do think there should be some sort of statute of limitations to allow the young to be young and foolish without it affecting them for life, but on the other hand I wouldn't extend it to a 38 year old professional man.

Yes Galaxy I agree. Sacking Suzanne Moore for example.

And you see there sits my discomfort The guardian has been a beacon of misogyny in the last couple of years, utterly tone deaf on many issues to do with womens rights.

But he’s not being parachuted in, Suzie.
He’s local to that part of NE England and the local party are urging for him to be their candidate
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/politics/2021/mar/21/local-party-urged-labour-leaders-to-find-a-way-to-install-hartlepool-candidate

The Guardian has been passed a letter sent to Labour officials by the chair of Hartlepool CLP, Moss Boddy, last Tuesday, the day of Hill’s resignation, calling on the NEC to “find a way” for Williams to be adopted as the candidate, “without delay”.“It is essential that our candidate be in place in the next few days, so that they can hit the ground running,” the letter said, highlighting the need to avoid “navel-gazing,” and citing Williams’s record as a “proven local campaigner”.

Of course the music behind the words is all about the selection process. If a candidate is perceived to have been parachuted in against local wishes, then a good place to find vengeance is by searching Twitter/Facebook ?

According to Wikipedia he actually referred to “Tory MILFs”, so presumably he was being charmlessly insulting in a political rather than a medical context.

It’s the Saudi Arabia business that jars. If they can recruit a Labour politician as a useful idiot, what hope is there?

Williams’s selection for the Hartlepool seat came just days after the sitting MP Mike Hill resigned over sexual harassment allegations, and Labour’s ruling national executive committee (NEC) last week composed a “longlist” comprising only his name, sparking accusations of a stitch-up by the leadership.

The above quote is from The Guardian.

Does this mean that there was no selection process - how can a longlist only have one name? Am I missing something here?

Maizie Because to pretend that no-one acts as a sexual being is sheer and utter hypocrisy
Of course we’re sexual beings, no one is saying we’re not.
It’s a question of how and when it’s appropriate to express our sexual thoughts and our sexuality.
Objectifying women on Twitter isn’t one of them.

MaizieD

As I suspected. It's not the sentiment but the language which is upsetting everyone. Because to pretend that no-one acts as a sexual being is sheer and utter hypocrisy. I'm actually stunned to find that many of you haven't recovered from the Victorian era yet.

I'm with trisher, I find his Saudi connection more worrying but I note that he was selected to be, and elected as, an MP under Corbyn.

He was slected and stood in 2017, his visit to Saudi was in 2018. He lost his seat in 2019 but he has once again been selected as a candidate.His comments about Saudi were made after the journalist was murdered in the embassy www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/hartlepool-by-election-paul-williams-saudi-arabia-b1819597.html

Mollygo

Good point Doodledog, but as we frequently see in the media or even on GN, you can never move on from past mistakes whilst there are still people who remember, or who will go out of their way to drag it up via Google.
That term was and is inappropriate. The fact that it may have been an ‘in’ thing to say 10 years ago doesn’t make it OK then or now. Do we know if he still holds the same view now?

No idea; but I'm pretty certain that there will be those who will use psychic powers to say with certainty that his apology is 'just because he got caught'. Unfortunately there is a mindset that will not ever let bygones be bygones.

It sounds as though I am defending him, and I'm not. I don't think it was appropriate, and (irrelevant though it is to the OP's question) I think his views on SA (as reported, anyway) are reprehensible.

I just think that for someone to trawl Twitter at a time when sexism is (rightly) on everyone's mind, find a 10 year old quote and use it against him says more about them than it does about the candidate in question.

I haven't googled what else is out there about this particular man Maizie but if he really does think Saudi is modern and progressive then maybe his opinions on women haven't changed much either.

I would certainly want to find out more about him if I was going to make him a candidate, that much is certain! ... And I'm not sure I'd have a lot of confidence in him as a GP to be honest.