Social Media - A Weapon of Self Destruction

It has its manny advantages but also many disadvantages. A family member who lives in America tells me if a crime is committed in their town they broadcast the description of suspicious persons or suspects / vehicles at the same time the police are told. Sometimes the wrong person has been arrested who was innocent.

I do think FB causes lots of problems.
I never put anything personal on there, just post things mainly to help people, e.g. scam texts, missing dogs, found items locally. Missing people etc. I don't put holiday pics on when I'm away either as some have been burgled by doing this.
Unfortunately some use it to abuse others and write things they wouldn't dream of saying in RL.
It's also sad that my family post things about DGC without ever telling me first, e.g. hospital visits, school achievements etc. A phone call would be nice before the world knows about it.

One of my daughters took an overdose (thankful discovered in good time) at 13 due to bullying at school and that was real life bullied not internet trolling which made it easier to spot. we are so so fortunate that she came through those dark days and now is an accomplished and delightful young woman but I really dont know how it would have played out in this virtual world the young people are in a lot of their lives.

I don't want to start a huge discussion about the people involved but this article shows the absolute hateful and destructive the internet can be. www.refinery29.com/en-gb/2021/06/10518195/megxit-meghan-markle-anti-fandom
Have you every been on the "Justice for Madelaine" Facebook page? The defamation is absolutely incredible and FB do nothing about it.
Whilst I don't ever want our right Free Speech to be eroded, I can't help thinking that some of the most extreme stuff needs to be strictly moderated.

Social media is a double-edged sword. It can do so much good to relieve loneliness, keep families and friends in touch, share information, unite people with a common cause, and simply entertain.

However, there is undeniably a dark side too. People can be so much nastier when they are faceless. Misinformation is spread, whether unintentionally or on purpose. The common cause which unites people can be a bad one, and the perpetrators can use social media to find more people to brainwash. Bullying is easy online, and children and young people are obviously the most vulnerable. Bullies would be bullies even if social media didn't exist but it gives them a longer reach.

My eldest grandson and his dad have both deleted their Facebook accounts. They say it's a waste of time. My younger daughter said recently that she and her partner have decided to drastically reduce their social media time. They feel that it is a distraction, and my daughter also says that she dislikes all the pressure to have a "perfect life", whether it's idealised photos or women worrying about their looks, relationships, parenting skills, etc. My youngest grandchildren aren't allowed to go on social media but it's only a matter of time before they will be young teenagers and want Internet access. Then their parents will have decisions to make.

I know that I spend too much time online, either talking about politics or just browsing. I am also in touch via Facebook with people I don't actually like (mainly my husband's family!) but whose friendship requests I couldn't refuse. On the plus side, I have also come into contact with some very interesting people in the groups that I have joined.

It isn’t just the young who are targeted. I recently put a jokey post on an ‘oldies’ Facebook page saying that I wouldn’t want to visit Shetland as it was still only 12deg C there. One reply was a torrent of abuse, not from Shetland apparently. Who are these sad people who want to verbally hurt others. I was not personally upset, just shocked that anyone could write such stuff to a stranger. I deleted the post.

It is not only young people who get bullied or bully others on social media. Yes, you may say it’s easier for more mature people to choose to ignore it, but they are still prey to depression, desperation and self doubt.

I agree with you Alegrias. I joined GN before any other social media group and on several occasions have considered whether to continue my ‘membership’. Some of the posts can be very hurtful.
I do use FB now (for closed groups) but am very careful about what I respond or react to,

I can't understand the need to put photos on social media - if you want friends to share them there is WhatsApp, and so many young people have fallen into the trap of not realising that once it is out there, it is for ever, and there is no taking down of photos or comments once they have been reposted. I am reserved, and find the whole thing alarming, while accepting that others are a lot more outgoing, but the 'www.' ramifications seem to have escaped many. There is nowhere to hide! There is also the opportunity for unpleasant and aggressive people to be scathing, insulting and hurtful while hiding behind anonymity - we've had a few on GN, but fortunately not lately.

I have seen on FB (and have posted about on another thread, "Pulling on your heartstrings for profit.") a link to an article about those "chain posts" that claim to be about righting some wrong, and wanting you to share or repost it "if you have a heart", bblackmailing the reader into reposting an emotional appeal to express solidarity with some group or other. It is implied that if you DON'T repost, you are some kind of heartless monster. Apparently a very large percentage of these chain posts are put up by people collecting "likes" and responses to sell to others who want to bump up their figures because that will make their sites more lucrative.

A market in sympathy and support! I have always felt mainipulated by those posts!

I have never done social media and never will. Being a private person and liking people as friends and colleagues is one thing reading what may be abusive untruths is another. This week a colleague told me of her son making up untruths on Instagram as a prank to his teachers. She said this was egged in bu other boys all age 13/14 the content was abusive and lies about teachers making unkind remarks about teachers liking young boys and watching porn on their phone. A prank? It could of destroyed that person’s credibility and life but it’s now down to a five day suspension and a slap on the wrist! I’m afraid if it was my son I would of given him more than that!

I think that young people should be taught at school that things that they post while they are young may come back to bite then as adults and possibly ruin their careers, such as a footballer recently. I do think more and more employers are looking at candidate's social media before employing them.

I think that like so many things, social media can be a force for good in the world, as well as a force for ill. TV and newspaper reporting is mediated (in the sense that the reporter is giving us their view of events), whereas seeing things unfold and getting viewpoints and information from those who are there when news is happening (on Facebook or other SM sites) gives us a more rounded view of the news, and can protect us from the idea that life is the same for others as it is for us as individuals

A lot depends on how people use SM. If you keep everything so that you only see your immediate circle, it is a very different experience from if you broaden it out to get viewpoints from a wider range of people. Safer, yes, but less informative. A lot depends on what we, as individuals, want social media to do.

What I find interesting, amusing and irritating in equal measure is when people seem to think that not using SM is somehow morally superior - particularly when it turns out that they post on forums like this one, or use more specialist sites such as Ravelry (for knitting and other yarn crafts), and have a YouTube account. SM don't start and stop with Facebook and Twitter.

What I find worrying is the way in which posts on SM can come back and haunt people years later (eg Ollie Robinson), and the way it can be used to publicly shame and run kangaroo courts. My local FB page is dreadful for this. Someone is (reportedly) rude to a shop assistant, or they park their car badly, and there are calls for them to be 'outed' so that the virtuous mob can pour scorn on them before they have a chance to defend themselves or plead innocent. It's horrible to see, and reached peak witch-hunt at the height of lockdown, when anyone thought to be shopping for 'unnecessary items', or who was out of doors when angry posters (who were also out of doors) was pilloried.

That's just human nature, and it has happened in various ways through history. There have always been 'holier than thou' types, and always been those who are ready to join a baying mob. SM gives them a more insidious way to do it, though, as well as a certain amount of anonymity.

The headmistress has give them a serious talk about misuse of the internet, but I imagine it will have been in one ear and out of the other!

Surely the headmistress should have given the talk about the awful spitefulness and bullying rather than how to use the internet. It's not social media's fault if teen girls are vicious little bitches to each other, it's simply the means by which they do it.

As for more 'controls' - oh please no! That way lies censorship and a 1984 scenario. All we can do for the best is be kind and avoid (block) those who aren't.

Harris27 you are on social media, GN.

Every social media site has its bullies, liars, and scammers, they are just a group of random people.

It does surprise me the amount of personal information people reveal online. Most people would not announce their business to the world via TV or in a packed sports stadium but are quite happy to reveal all online.

Yes, it has it's down side but also there is good things about it. I have lots of friends in America and we used to communicate by "snail" mail but now I can see what they are doing and how their families are doing on the same day as something happens. I also think, used properly, it can combat loneliness and boredom in older people.

Like all newish things there are always those who can exploit it for some sort of gain. The problem with social media platforms and some of the individuals who use them they are mercurial and less traceable. That in itself is one of the powerful draws of these cyber platforms. Long gone are the early days of being able to converse with loved ones on the other side of the world, sell your goods to a wider audience (particularly useful for parents at home with young children) or do some shopping.

Same here, FB a has torn our family apart and all because of one very arrogant narcissistic member who is not a child. In her 40’s. It is terribly sad and caused untold pain and harm. I used to enjoy FB but have to say since leaving it I am much calmer. ?

As other posters said the genie is out of the bottle and no putting it back. I agree Bluecat social media is a double edged sword. It has great capability for good but so often used in the opposite way. I think people are leaving FB but other things are taking its place.
I had a really bad experience withFB and now only use GN.

This is the only social site that I use, I'm not interested in Facebook, etc. I came across Gransnet by accident and I now I do really enjoy it and in the lockdowns it was a godsend having others to chat to cos some days were lonely. We are grown ups and should be able to handle a little bit of bickering at times
It's practically an addiction for the majority of young ones now. They are constantly on phones, needing pics to be liked, etc and the filtering that goes on making them look far older than their years us dreadful. It all needs monitored, especially the like of Snapchat, it must be a great place for bullies to spend their sick time behind a keyboard just torturing others that can lead to depression or worse suicide.
Some adults are as bad with social media though. A friend of mine, who's in her 50s, puts every meal they have on it, a drink, new outfit, etc; we go out for lunch and her phone is out before a fork is lifted, its just showing off. I feel like putting her mobile in her drink cos it's so bloomin rude.

News, sometimes inaccurate, travels fast on social media.

I remember my terror that someone would mention my husband's death on Facebook. His death was very public, on our front lawn, just as the school buses were passing. I got about ten messages from people that had driven past, asking if he was alright, it was awful, the ambulance took over an hour to get to him. Luckily no-one did as I wasn't going to tell my daughter until the next day, she was taking her finals at Uni. My son and I did discuss it and decided knowing a day early was of no benefit as he had died. I will always regret telling both of them on the telephone, but was in no state to have driven.

This OP is a new poster.....have seen this post elsewhere word for word from new posters on other forums...I mean no offence but just saying

I'm sure that Cunco is quite capable of standing up for themselves but they were posting about 4 years ago.

I took the OP as a quote from somewhere which we were being asked for our opinion on.

Alegrias1

^Gransnet is Social Media as well, but fortunately we all seem to be pretty nice people on here.^

You're clearly not looking at some of the more "interesting" threads Purpledreamer. Society is full of people who like to bully and poke fun. GN has its fair share, just like anywhere else. The town square used to be full of them in the days before we had any other way of communicating.

I use Facebook a lot and have never seen any bullying or inappropriate behaviour, because I can limit what I see and who sees what I post. I agree that SM is a minefield though, for younger people especially.

Alegrias1 - obviously I've missed those!

I use Facebook mainly to keep in touch with my 2 youngest grandchildren - 18 months and three and a half. They live at the other end of the country so with lockdowns etc we haven't seen them for some time. But we get posts and videos nearly every day.
It's also useful for finding out what's happening locally.