Roe v Wade

Silverlady I agree about informing young people about sex education, in fact my Grandson 11 gets his first session this term at his Primary school. His parents have been given advanced info on the content.

Thank you Smileless2012

I do understand Chocolatelovinggran that not everything will be 100% effective all the time. I'm happy it worked out for your daughter & son-in-law. This is a case, and some may differ with me, that it was meant to be. Part of me believes there are some things (good ones) happen for a reason.

It's just my hope that people won't make abortion the only solution in an unwanted pregnancy. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but what is in life. Each case is different.

Silverlady my mum was a midwife at the hospital where girls from an "unmarried mothers" home came to be delivered, so she saw the other side of the coin to you. I can remember as quite a young child the times she came home and broke her heart because she'd been with 'a baby delivering a baby' Girls that weren't yet 13, too many 14 or 15 year olds. She'd cry with sadness but also with frustration that these girls had to endure a pregnancy and delivery, to then hand over their newborn to be adopted. She was a kind person who thought every baby was a beautiful gift, but she'd have approved of abortion for these children if they'd wanted one. She'd also have been terribly upset at the thought of anyone, but especially a young girl, going through this without the full support and comfort of their family.

I have been hesitant to post because of what some might think but here go's.
When I was a nurse I worked in many clinics including fertility and termination clinics. My job was to be impartial and to be the patients advocate.
Termination is not a thing I would ever have considered but then I have never been in the position of some of the patients I met. There was on particular woman who on her 3rd appearance the Consultant made it clear he would not perform another termination for her. Unfortunately there are some women who do use it as contraception. However contraception does not always work for everyone and we have all heard of condoms splitting etc.
It was the young girls that got to me. They were so ignorant about conception, didn't realise they could get pregnant the 1st time they had sex. Or the one's who thought their boyfriend would be supportive and wasn't seen for dust when he found out. The young Asian girls who dared not continue with a pregnancy because not only would they be ostracized from their families but their whole communities.
The ones that came with their mothers and those that came with a friend or worse still alone.
The girls that were absolutely terrified if their parents found out.
No we were not allowed to tell their parents. Termination is one of the few medical procedures where a girl is deemed capable of making their own decision.
I used to tell them gently that they should tell their mum's. That yes they will be probably be angry at 1st but not all mum's are ogres.
Unless you have walked in someone else shoes no one has the right to judge!
I do however wish parents were more forth coming with giving their son's and daughters sex education. No good thinking oh my child would never do anything like that! I can assure you some do!
Most of these posts have seemingly been about older women, the younger girls seem to have been over looked.

Sorry to hear about the abuse you got, Germanshepherdsmum. That's the trouble with PMs, isn't it? They're great for a bit of background chat, but too easy to use for the occasional person who wants to be really nasty. Good for you for standing up to it though!

Yeah I really doubt the presence of 'a brother', oh dear someone has accessed my account is as convincing as I was looking at tractors.

Germanshepherdsmum

MN told me she had been banned. I assume that means a permanent ban rather than a suspension.

Hope so.

It's high time the tolerance level of that kind of abuse was cranked down. It's becoming too mainstream on social media.

I am sorry you were subjected to such nastiness German shepherdsmum. It is a very divisive topic but there is no need for vile behaviour. I was wary of the poster for a while and I'm glad I didn't engage. I hope it hasn't upset you much.

Thanks Zoejory. I must say getting a message commencing ‘Oi Bitch’ was something of a first for me.

Kandinsky

I very much doubt there was a ‘brother’ to be honest. All her most probably.

Missed a lot of this thread but I must admit that the mention of a brother made me laugh

As if. Why should anyone care? Nobody cares.

There is no brother.

Honestly, I remember a girl at school threatening us with her brother.

Pathetic. No idea what has been said but I've spotted posts by GSM before and she's a good poster. So Theodora, stick that in your pipe and smoke it

MN told me she had been banned. I assume that means a permanent ban rather than a suspension.

Kandinsky

I very much doubt there was a ‘brother’ to be honest. All her most probably.

Never thought of that. You could be right though. I did wonder, when he was introduced into the conversation why she thought his opinion might be relevant, or why anyone would care what someone's brother (aunt, uncle, or Uncle Tom Cobley) thought!

The comment to GSM was vile and completely unjustified on any level. I'm just sorry she wasn't banned all together. I hope she's learned a lesson, anyway.

I think you could be right Kandinsky.

I very much doubt there was a ‘brother’ to be honest. All her most probably.

Oh wow, I missed a lot of what seems to have gone on yesterday - but I'm so sorry for those who have been on the receiving end of abuse either on the thread itself or by pm. There are posters I often disagree with, but that doesn't mean I don't respect their point of view. As I think I said already on here, we are all supposed to be adults and can surely agree to disagree - yes, even on such an emotive subject as this - without resorting to abuse.

To all those who need them - and here's to more reasoned, adult debates!

You have all been very kind and supportive. Thank you. I wasn’t the only one though, just the only one the brother sent a post as well as a vile PM to.

My post keeps getting lost so maybe third time lucky - I’m trying to say I agree with these later posts by Dickens VS and others.

Galaxy

Crikey. My work is really getting in the way of gransnet life. I was roaring with laughter at the brother monitoring our posts but then it got really not funny with abusive pms, really sorry that happened gsm.

You and me both

GSM, I’m sorry that happened

I cant take credit but i do agree with it

VioletSky

If it was about babies....

We manage very well

... excellent post VioletSky

And if it really was-about-babies, men would ask women about their needs as a mother instead of telling them what they think they should be...

In spite of the progress women have made with their emancipation, the world is still very much male-dominated, and men often still have the loudest voices when it comes to pregnancy and motherhood.

Good post VioletSky.

If it was about babies....

We manage very well

Good post Dickens at 20.02

Crikey. My work is really getting in the way of gransnet life. I was roaring with laughter at the brother monitoring our posts but then it got really not funny with abusive pms, really sorry that happened gsm.

SueDonim

That’s awful, to be targeted with vile abuse, because your opinion isn’t the same as someone else’s.

Going back to the topic, there’s a moving BBC article by a priest who has had two terminations.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-61334229

That’s awful, to be targeted with vile abuse, because your opinion isn’t the same as someone else’s

It's rife on some sections of social media. I was targeted once and it does shock you. The sheer venom and vile abuse is hard to comprehend. You can't treat like with like because that makes it worse. The only answer is to report it. The more reasonable you try to be, the more angry they get, too.

But back to the subject. It is a contentious issue, and an emotive one and I, though strongly defending women's right to choose, still have qualms about very late abortions. But then I think about the horror of incest or rape - and the possibility of the victim leaving it too late for various reasons - emotional trauma etc, and have to agree that ultimately the decision must rest with the woman involved. But I do understand the feelings of those that have a different opinion.

The burden always falls on the woman. If only we could get men to be more responsible, too. Perhaps some of them could be persuaded to associate sex with pregnancy instead of just a recreational pastime designed purely for their enjoyment .

But the attack on GSM was completely uncalled for. I sometimes don't agree with her POV but respect the intelligence with which she expresses it. I don't think the vile abuse she received was in anyway connected with genuine feeling about abortion either. It was a very juvenile reaction to being called out for some of the outrageous comments made by the poster in question... and getting the equally juvenile brother to give us his opinion.

I'm going to look at the link you've provided now. Thank you. The more one listens, the more one learns.