GagaJo
If someone repeatedly asks anyone the same question, regardless of what it is, it's rude.
Are you hungry? X 6. Rude.
What time are you leaving? X 5. Rude.
The woman in question knew the conversation had gone badly. She admitted it herself. I'm just amazed that with all of her experience in this role, that she didn't read the situation better. Unless it's her general go-to style of questioning, which has just never resulted in a complaint before. In which case, she had a very good innings and is just unlucky that the world is changing and will no longer tolerate her style of privilege and arrogance.
I don't care who you are or what your background is. If invited to someone's home or a business reception, politeness says you make an effort to make the small talk work.
SH was out of her depth in the politicised space. Why would she want to risk a repeat of that? Her resignation was the right thing for her and the Royal Family.
Ms Fulani, should be, considering her job, perfectly capable of making the conversation work. She appears to be an eloquent, sassy, grown woman running a charity. She is presumably, dealing with people who ask awkward questions and don't always put things the "right" way on a day-to-day basis.
If she cannot find a way to answer that puts the thing to bed, then where is her resignation? If she cannot manage a Buck House Reception, then how can she manage to run her charity? This is nothing to do with colour or ethnicity. Where is her competence for a job that is entirely people orientated?