Language matters profoundly. It shapes our thought processes. It shapes the way we conceive the world, it shapes the way we see each other. It shapes the way we grow up, our attitudes to others. It is ever changing.
Lisa Nandy has described herself as "mixed heritage" in order to describe how her Indian Father and a White UK mother has shaped her view and her experience of the world.
I think it is respectful to listen to how different people describe themselves and follow that lead. We are a society which for centuries has been dominated by a white male view of the world, perhaps re-inforced by the past of being an empire. for centuries, women, people of different races have been "other" to this norm.
We are in a process of change, and it is good that we are, because it promotes true understanding between people who have very different origins. so our language evolves with it.
It is an uncomfortable process. It is contested, and there will be disagreements.
If you take the trouble to read books like Layla Saad's "Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor" you have an opportunity to
"challenges you to do the essential work of unpacking your biases, and helps white people take action and dismantle the privilege within themselves so that you can stop (often unconsciously) inflicting damage on people of color, and in turn, help other white people do better, too."
we read this as part of a Quaker study group when the black Lives Matter movement arose, believing that we have to start with out own part-conscious though processes and language. None of us are totally free of this, we are a work in process, on a journey.
I realised for example at my gym, which is very multi-cultural, I was not being able to recall which man of Afro-Caribbean origin I had had a laugh and joke with because my memory is mainly trained to recall the details of white faces. Voice, a different matter; the lilts of West African English being different from a black man who was brought up in Brum or locally, or someone of Somalian origin whose first language was of course a French dialect.
So rather than be defensive, "I'm not racist", believe, you might be, the people you meet might be, and take on the broadening of horizons and challenge - with kindness and understanding - but don't let it pass.