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Buckingham Palace Aide resigns

(1001 Posts)
Parsley3 Wed 30-Nov-22 14:12:28

BBC News - Buckingham Palace aide resigns over remarks to black charity boss
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-63810468

Well at least the Palace took this incident seriously and didn't fob off Ms Fulani's complaint.

growstuff Sun 04-Dec-22 12:22:21

wicklowwinnie

I thought the hair looked like a wig.
In which case, did it matter that it was moved?
There seems to be a lot of hot air about!

Just when you thought accusations couldn't get more outrageous ....

The hair was a wig!

No, it was curly black hair styled in dreadlocks. Don't tell me you've never seen hair like that before!

growstuff Sun 04-Dec-22 12:23:42

Even if it were a wig, people have no right to go around moving other people's hair (real or not).

growstuff Sun 04-Dec-22 12:25:38

This thread is getting like a script for Warren Mitchell in Til Death Do Us Part.

It would be funny, if I didn't suspect that the characters are real.

Mollygo Sun 04-Dec-22 12:27:42

GagaJo
Yes, because white people's hurt feelings are much more important that facing police violence or other forms of institutionalised violent racism.
You said that GJ. I hope you don’t really believe it.

volver Sun 04-Dec-22 12:28:03

What a pity we don't have a "Gransnet Classic Threads", like Mumsnet do.

This would be a shoo-in.

Oh, we do! I just looked!! Do we have to vote on it or something?

GagaJo Sun 04-Dec-22 12:31:40

Mollygo

GagaJo
Let's make it even clearer. White people are already very wary of engaging with people of colour because of cries of racism. It can end up in a life or death situation.

It's a response to your misquoted statement Molly. I'm not dim. I'm used to proofreading misquoted plagiarism.

You may prioritise white privilege. I certainly don't.

Chestnut Sun 04-Dec-22 12:34:09

GagaJo

MerylStreep

GagaJo
I’d like a uk when my Grandson is safe. He’s not, because he wears the right trainers, jacket, has the right phone and watch.
Can’t hang out in his local park where it’s so dangerous that the police tell parents to keep their children away.
It’s not all about colour.

No, but a lot of it is. Black boys are far more at risk.

Black boys are more at risk from other black boys, because most of the stabbings are drug or gang related. Arguing about a silly conversation at the palace has little to do with the real issues of the day.

GagaJo Sun 04-Dec-22 12:34:10

volver

What a pity we don't have a "Gransnet Classic Threads", like Mumsnet do.

This would be a shoo-in.

Oh, we do! I just looked!! Do we have to vote on it or something?

What shall we call it?

'GN members adhere to the offensive stereotype of racist older people?'

Or the pithier

'Racism Reigns'.

Madgran77 Sun 04-Dec-22 12:54:55

wicklowwinnie

I thought the hair looked like a wig.
In which case, did it matter that it was moved?
There seems to be a lot of hot air about!

😳 Oh dear! I am truly stunned by that remark.

Madgran77 Sun 04-Dec-22 12:55:35

growstuff

Even if it were a wig, people have no right to go around moving other people's hair (real or not).

Quite!

Iam64 Sun 04-Dec-22 13:10:48

growstuff

This thread is getting like a script for Warren Mitchell in Til Death Do Us Part.

It would be funny, if I didn't suspect that the characters are real.

It’s dreadful to see so many comments that wreak of white privilege from people who seem to feel they’re the victims in the complexities around our multi racial society.

Chestnut Sun 04-Dec-22 13:20:43

Madgran77

growstuff

Even if it were a wig, people have no right to go around moving other people's hair (real or not).

Quite!

I find it quite absurd that people actually worry about such things as moving someone's hair. Racist! White privilege! If it had been a white woman with long hair those accusations could not be made. 😂

I used to have long hair, but if I wore a name badge then I would make sure it was visible and not covered by hair. After all, what is the point of a name badge you can't see? If someone had moved my hair to see my badge then no big deal, I would just say a quick 'sorry' and smile at them. No need to get offended and go to the press.

volver Sun 04-Dec-22 13:26:16

Oh dear.

Anybody better able than me to explain the cultural history and meaning of their hair for people of African origin?

Mollygo Sun 04-Dec-22 13:28:24

So how many on here, whilst accepting, as I did, right at the start of the thread, that Lady Hussey was in the wrong, would actually pursue a person who had offended them, and who had apologised for the offence,
as ardently it seems the error by the lady in question is being pursued, whether it was deliberately or inadvertently racist or not?

How many of you actually set out conditions for your acceptance of an apology?

How many of you agree with the Sistah_Space tweet
^Thanks everyone for their support. It is not our wish to reveal the person involved, it is the system that needs to be revised.
Yes the person was offensive, but it serves no purpose to name & shame her, it would make us just as bad. We prefer that this be handled kindly.^

I’d be interested to know.

Oreo Sun 04-Dec-22 13:48:23

25Avalon

I am off to cast my pearls elsewhere.

Don’t blame you 😃
Better to leave the pearl clutchers to it.wink
Any wisdom is wasted now that the high horse brigade are moving in with pitchforks out for Lady H and anyone who suggests it’s all gone OTT.
Nearly at 1,000 posts anyway.

Allsorts Sun 04-Dec-22 14:00:50

I think Susan should go for constructive dismissal.

Madgran77 Sun 04-Dec-22 14:03:27

If it had been a white woman with long hair those accusations could not be made

There are plenty of long haired white women who would object to having their long hair moved off their chest by someone they had never met before. Just as I objected quite strongly to someone reaching across and sticking a name sticker on my chest , pressing into my nipple "just to make sure it stuck!" I pointed out to that person the inappropriateness of that action, they were genuinely horrified at their own thoughtlessness and jn fact "sense of superiority" because they were "in charge" of the event", whereas I was a speaker at it!! In the end a constructive and helpful discussion was had on why that had happened, the lack of intention to offend, how it might be avoided in future etc. One would hope the same approach could be taken with the Lady H/ Ngozi Fulani incident with a view to ensuring no repeat and addressing wider causes of the whole thing!

To be honest I personally think that Ms Fulani has not necessarily gone the best way about addressing the immediate and wider issues evident in this incident, but she is entitled to dislike the action and her choices do not diminish the issues that might be considered and discussed, from what happened.

MaizieD Sun 04-Dec-22 14:03:27

volver

Oh dear.

Anybody better able than me to explain the cultural history and meaning of their hair for people of African origin?

They can't be of African origin, volver, don't you know that everyone of African origin has tight little black curls all over their head, not long dreadlocks... [big sarcasm emoji here]

I must admit that I thought dreadlocks originated in the Caribbean as part of the Rastafarian cult of Haile Selassie. But I haven't particularly researched it.

They're not exclusive to non white people, either. We've stayed a couple of times in a quirky B & B in Jamaica run by a (white) Italian lady with fine dreadlocks.

I'm finding it strange that people are talking about Ms Faluni as though she's an oddity in British society. She isn't, we have a diverse population and lots of different styles of dressing. Have done for decades.

surfsup Sun 04-Dec-22 14:08:57

Wow what a hornet's nest this episode has stirred up. I don't know if I dare comment but here goes. I think the old lady was clumsy and shouldn't have kept on going on when talking to Ngoni Fulani but I do think the younger lady had and has an agenda. Was it a set up? I don't think I'd go that far as how could you set that up. I just think it's been blown out of all proportion in the news and certainly on here. That's my two pen'orth.

Madgran77 Sun 04-Dec-22 14:12:21

*How many of you agree with the Sistah_Space tweet
^Thanks everyone for their support. It is not our wish to reveal the person involved, it is the system that needs to be revised.
Yes the person was offensive, but it serves no purpose to name & shame her, it would make us just as bad. We prefer that this be handled kindly.*

I agree with the SistahSpace statement. I think it is a pity that for whatever reasons that seems to have fallen by the wayside!

*So how many on here, whilst accepting, as I did, right at the start of the thread, that Lady Hussey was in the wrong, would actually pursue a person who had offended them, and who had apologised for the offence,
as ardently it seems the error by the lady in question is being pursued, whether it was deliberately or inadvertently racist or not?*

I would have pursued it but not in the way that has developed on this one. I would definitely have been in touch with the Palace with a view to looking at the wider issues involved. I would definitely accept the invitation from the King and Queen to explain personally the issues from my perspective

How many of you actually set out conditions for your acceptance of an apology?

I would have agreed to meet with Lady Hussey, heard her apology and explained my perspective whilst also following up with the palace etc and explaining to Lady Hussey why I was doing that!!

Oreo Sun 04-Dec-22 14:14:28

Dreads came from Africa, it’s common knowledge.
Rastafarians and non Rastafarians, West Indian and West Indian heritage, just a hairstyle of choice for non Rastafarians. They didn’t originate in the Caribbean tho.

Oreo Sun 04-Dec-22 14:17:26

surfsup

Wow what a hornet's nest this episode has stirred up. I don't know if I dare comment but here goes. I think the old lady was clumsy and shouldn't have kept on going on when talking to Ngoni Fulani but I do think the younger lady had and has an agenda. Was it a set up? I don't think I'd go that far as how could you set that up. I just think it's been blown out of all proportion in the news and certainly on here. That's my two pen'orth.

And a good two pen’orth it is😄
I’ve spent at least two shillings so have got my moneys worth.

volver Sun 04-Dec-22 14:24:57

I don't know that much about it to be honest.

But I do know better than touch a black person's hair or assert that I wouldn't care that much if someone touched my hair, so why should they?

odelebeauty.com/blogs/the-rinse/black-hair-history-facts#:~:text=Hair%20means%20something%20different%20to,

varian Sun 04-Dec-22 14:46:38

When we lived in the Far East strangers would often come up and touch the hair of my blond curly haired toddler. I didn't encourage it but I accepted it was just curiosity and not malicious.

Glorianny Sun 04-Dec-22 14:59:00

volver Thanks for such an interesting link. I knew a little bit about black hair but there is so much more.
Some of the posts on this thread have shocked me. I didn't realise white privilege was still so entrenched in older people. No wonder racism still exists in some of our institutions

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