That reception - don't forget its message.

We still live in a country where only 1% of rape allegations lead to charges, let alone conviction.

It hasn't improved from 30 years ago

The Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) estimated that 5.0% of adults (6.9% women and 3.0% men) aged 16 years and over experienced domestic abuse in the year ending March 2022; this equates to an estimated 2.4 million adults (1.7 million women and 699,000 men). 25 Nov 2022

Well yes Baggs the fact it was ever legal is what's truly shocking.

I was aware at the time that the law change was made on marital rape. My shock was centred on its existing at all! That was new and shocking to me.

It really is shocking isn't it Madgran to think that 30 years ago a husband had the 'right' to have sex with his wife without her consent!!!

Marital rape was not viewed as domestic violence and therefore illegal until 1992; only 30 years ago

I was also shocked at how recent yhat change was Smileless Unbelievable! I don't remember being aware of that fact when I was younger either which amazes me now

for the simple fact of being women and girls.

Is the important point and what this event was about.

I think it still can be an interesting and informative thread BaBaBoom. It needs to be. Violence against women is too often not talked about and TBH I don't understand why race/colour needs to be mentioned in a discussion about an issue that affects women.

BaBaBoom
Very well put.
Do what most of us do and scroll through some posts 😉

This could have been such an interesting and informative thread if it hadn't been derailed by violetskies whataboutery derailing it. You can argue that violence against black women is a problem. Or violence against trans women is problem. Or violence against young women is problem. All of those are true and none of those have more, or less, importance than any other groups of women. All violence against women is unacceptable. Attempts to segregate any of those groups as being having more credence or importance than any other is divisive and dismissive and discriminatory. Shame on you for that violetskies.

Here is the UN statement from one year ago:

www.ohchr.org/en/statements/2021/12/international-day-elimination-violence-against-women-25-november-2021

“Although they represent more than half the world’s population, women and girls the world over are still at risk of being killed and subject to violence, intimidation and harassment when they speak out – for the simple fact of being women and girls."

One year on and little seems to have changed.

You're right Jane home is where educating our son's to respect girls/women begins and it begins with what they see. If they see their mother being respected by their father, male relatives and friends then a good example is set.

If they witness the opposite, they may 'learn' that abuse in whatever form is acceptable. My sister in law was married to an abuser and the abuse was both mental and physical.

He had no contact with his own father and hadn't done so for years, because he saw on a regular basis how his father abused his mother. He hated him and yet became exactly the same.

If daughters see their mothers are respected, they know how they should be treated. If their mother is disrespected and she stands up for herself, that is another positive learning experience; it's wrong and it's OK to say so.

There have been welcome changes to the law 'Battered Wife Syndrome' for example as aid in defending women who eventually snap and kill their abusive partner/husband.

But as we think of this positive, we need to remember how slow the law is when it comes to protecting women. Marital rape was not viewed as domestic violence and therefore illegal until 1992; only 30 years ago.

I was so shocked, I googled it twice just to be sure.

Yes

I've had a look and that's not how I would have worded things and I am grateful my name is not in the thread so thank you

I'm a bit busy for a lot of threads at the mo but I may join later

There is plenty of info online Baggs

Maybe you can helm your own discussion topic better than me

Baggs

*ViSky*, I've started another thread for you so you can tell us what you know and what we need to know about racism's part in violence against females.

Oh good idea Baggs.

I did try to find some statistics but they seemed more to do with the incidences of violence against women from ethnic minorities in the UK by their own partners.

Baggs

*ViSky*, I've started another thread for you so you can tell us what you know and what we need to know about racism's part in violence against females.

Not sure what to do with this to be honest with you

ViSky, I've started another thread for you so you can tell us what you know and what we need to know about racism's part in violence against females.

Not overshadowed

Highlighted if anything

After all, it inspired you to start another thread

No-one said that racism is irrelevant, but that the CONCENTRATION on racism in the other thread about that reception means that ALL the aspects of male violence to women are not getting aired.

Can we get back to discussing male violence, including all the aspects which were over-shadowed by the spectre of racism? That does not deny racism, but it does widen the field, and makes it about ALL women, not just those where racism is involved in the violence against them.

Elegran

I understand a lot more than you give me credit for, VioletSky, including that this thread is fast becoming all about you. Keep arguing about my "disservice" if you must, but don't expect me to join you.

I'm not arguing

And this is unnecessarily personal

There are also comments stating its not about race or "colour" I'm quoting that, not using it

I am allowed to say, I think of this discussion is needed, we need to understand that there are may different facets to the topic and problems we need to eradicate to keep all women safe

That's not about me it's about all women

I’m out …

No, Madgran77 you are not.

I understand a lot more than you give me credit for, VioletSky, including that this thread is fast becoming all about you. Keep arguing about my "disservice" if you must, but don't expect me to join you.

All of this was once explained to me

Perhaps I am not explaining myself well enough but I'm trying

What can I do to combat violent men? Well I can raise my children with feminist principles and I can call it out when I see it.

What can I do about racism? Well I can help people relate to each other and the wider world around them and I can call it out when I see it.

Will both of those things have an impact on violence against women?

Yes, the more people who place importance on it, the better

And yes racism, ageism, homophobia, transphobia, ableist views etc etc

all deserve space on a thread about violence against women

As does any other excuse violent men
use

Elegran

could you stop making this an argumentative thread, please, VioletSky It wasn't started as such, it was started as an ADDITION to the thread on that incident during the reception, to discuss the original concerns for which the reception was held .

YOU are the one who is doing everyone else a disservice by trying to turn it into a controversial thread by concentrating on the racist aspect above all others..

I suppose I could also be accused of trying to make make this an argumentative thread. I truly am not.

I just think that, whilst not overshadowing the overall purpose of the reception, it should not be thought that racism is not relevant to the overall problem. I am not suggesting that that is what YOU were saying when starting this thread, but there was an impression developing that racism was not considered relevant. Perhaps I misunderstood some of the replies to your post, perhaps not. .

You are right Elegran, it is important that the original purpose of that Reception ie. The UN 16-day Focus on Gender Violence should not be lost. Hopefully it won't be.