Nicola Bulley 45y Old mum of 2 little girls missing from River Wyre area since last Friday morning at 9:15am walking her dog, Willow.

I believe especially in places where it’s not free flowing the river mud and weeds can hold a body down jennifer
I think it’s important to talk, not necessarily about Nicola but about how difficult life can be for some women only today I heard of a man poo pooing it and saying he thought women just played on it and its ‘not really that bad’

Like a lot of people, initially I wondered why the police were so insistent that Nicola was in the river (although I believe they were careful not to specifically say she had slipped in), but then of course as soon as we learned about the alcoholism and depression, their views made sense.

No doubt there will be a lot of blame aimed at the police for not finding the poor woman sooner, yet experts in the field of recovery from rivers have all said how conditions vary enormously from one day to the next.

Will not post on this thread again, out of respect for family RIP.

I, too, am horrified by all the comments on the internet, but also by the number of ‘psychics’ who are on TikTok giving their opinions. It seems there is one who alleges it was he who found her body, using his ‘gift’.
( May I say, I seem to have joined TikTok via a link to view something. I have no aspirations to become an ‘influencer’.)

Fleurpepper

I feel very uncomfortable with this thread. It is a public Forum and anyone can access and read it.

Totally agree Fleurpepper

Some of the speculation on here and other sites is downright disgusting, I really hope the family are allowed to grieve in private.

This is a mother of two little girls, a partner, a sister and a daughter.

RIP Nicola Bulley 💐

I feel very uncomfortable with this thread. It is a public Forum and anyone can access and read it.

Germanshepherdsmum

You don’t know what issues she had GrammyGrammy. None of us do. We will hear more about her vulnerabilities when evidence is given at the inquest. Drinking too much is not ‘the norm’ during the peri menopause or at any other time, nor is having the police and unspecified welfare officials called to your home because of the way you are behaving.

Why do you say the police are useless? They said all along that they believed she was in the river, as she was. We are not being ‘fed’ anything, nor do we have a right to information.

Well that's a breath of fresh air. Thank you GSM.

I do feel that at some point we will have to sort out what can go on the internet, in the same we do about what can be printed. How they will do this is beyond my knowledge though.

I find your posts extremely judgemental Grammygrammy we know nothing about anything she was suffering and maybe it’s not a bad thing for it to be out there in the open at least it can be recognised that for some people the menopause can be a nightmare
I don’t think the police were useless at all they obviously felt from the start it was suicide and did what they could to find her which in the end proved right

Well said Glorianny.

I think the most appropriate action on this subject is to stop discussing and simply post condolences. All speculation should stop/
In the words of Nicola's family
You are no longer a missing person, you have been found, we can let you rest now
RIP.

Germanshepherdsmum

You don’t know what issues she had GrammyGrammy. None of us do. We will hear more about her vulnerabilities when evidence is given at the inquest. Drinking too much is not ‘the norm’ during the peri menopause or at any other time, nor is having the police and unspecified welfare officials called to your home because of the way you are behaving.

Why do you say the police are useless? They said all along that they believed she was in the river, as she was. We are not being ‘fed’ anything, nor do we have a right to information.

We are not being ‘fed’ anything, nor do we have a right to information.

Well said GSM.

Nicola's medical records are not the business of anyone other than her GP and the family.

Oh yes, I forgot that time-honoured one.

Germanshepherdsmum

Next we will hear (not on GN I know) the ‘what did she have to be depressed about, good looking woman, lovely home and family, job’ etc etc comments. I’m sure all those here who have suffered have heard those words many times.

Don't forget "get a grip" - when not everyone has "a grip" emotionally.

Next we will hear (not on GN I know) the ‘what did she have to be depressed about, good looking woman, lovely home and family, job’ etc etc comments. I’m sure all those here who have suffered have heard those words many times.

I agree Dickens . Depression and anxiety are truly terrifying. Like you, Blondiescot I was a 'pull yourself together' person too. Even with my own brother I used to get annoyed and say 'For goodness sake sort yourself out'. I had no idea how desperate he was feeling. I know now.

CatsCatsCats
I’m sure that this was subject to a media/social media frenzy because the police didn't release the information about Nicola's problems right from the very start.

If they had, it would have prevented the armchair detectives, the social media speculation, the awful nastiness of it all. They allowed the mysteriousness of it to develop, and gave the 'crucial' information out only when the situation had got out of hand.

If a person with 'issues' is reported missing, the natural tendency is to think the person has probably committed suicide, to think 'how sad', and to leave it alone.

I wish I believed that.
The appalling lack of respect for Nicola’s family and friends and the local community shown by the speculation and suggestions on line in social media and even the mainstream media, and by physical presence invading the scene and harassing the inhabitants doesn’t reflect well on what sort of society we have become.
On the radio today one presenter was saying that she’d only clicked on a link to Nicola Bulley in an investigative way to see how many others (millions in some cases) had visited a TikTok site and what the ‘algorithms’ suggested you might also want to look at. Thereby adding herself to the number.
Blaming algorithms is evidently the new excuse for unacceptable interest.

You don’t know what issues she had GrammyGrammy. None of us do. We will hear more about her vulnerabilities when evidence is given at the inquest. Drinking too much is not ‘the norm’ during the peri menopause or at any other time, nor is having the police and unspecified welfare officials called to your home because of the way you are behaving.

Why do you say the police are useless? They said all along that they believed she was in the river, as she was. We are not being ‘fed’ anything, nor do we have a right to information.

We never think we're going to have mental health problems. Sadly it can happen to anyone.

Very true indeed. I admit, years ago, I was guilty of thinking many people with mental health problems just needed to give themselves a good shake or pull themselves together. How wrong was I? I'm so ashamed that I once felt like that. Along came the menopause, and I soon found out for myself just what it's like to fight a battle with what's going on in your own head. I've been taking anti-depressants for some time
now and they've made a huge difference. No-one really understands until they've experienced it for themselves.

She didn't have many more issues than any other woman her age though, did she? Liked to drink to much and peri-menopausal...how is that not the norm? Those things were highlighted by her partner to the police. But what do the GP's records say? What do her friends say about her? About the dynamics in her family relationships? The police are useless and are going to want this closed but for those who aren't zombies there may be far more to this than we are being fed.

varian

I am still quite puzzled about why this particular disappearance has been subject to such a media frenzy when thousands of people disappear every year in this country - and most are hardly reported.

I'm sure that this was subject to a media/social media frenzy because the police didn't release the information about Nicola's problems right from the very start.

If they had, it would have prevented the armchair detectives, the social media speculation, the awful nastiness of it all. They allowed the mysteriousness of it to develop, and gave the 'crucial' information out only when the situation had got out of hand.

If a person with 'issues' is reported missing, the natural tendency is to think the person has probably committed suicide, to think 'how sad', and to leave it alone.

Kate1949

Thank you Blondiescot. I'm sorry about your friend's daughter and your DIL. It's not easy that's for sure. We never think we're going to have mental health problems. Sadly it can happen to anyone.

We never think we're going to have mental health problems. Sadly it can happen to anyone.

Oh so true.

I honestly don't think anyone really understands just how devastating it can be unless they've suffered themselves. It's so difficult to convey to others in words what it is like.

TBH, I've had cancer (twice) and even that didn't compare with the horror of depression. I overcame the cancer diagnoses easier than the depression. Maybe because I understood what I was up against... not so with depression, it's almost unfathomable.

Thank you Blondiescot. I'm sorry about your friend's daughter and your DIL. It's not easy that's for sure. We never think we're going to have mental health problems. Sadly it can happen to anyone.

Kate1949, I'm so sorry you were treated in that manner, but sadly, from personal experience, I'm not surprised either. I have a friend whose daughter had a long history of mental illness, including a number of previous suicide attempts. She was released from hospital despite telling her doctors that if she was, she fully intended to take her own life - and she did just that, aged only 19. My own DiL also had a long history of mental health issues and was badly let down by the system too. Some people can hide their issues, but others are very clearly crying out for help and don't receive it.

I agree Annie. Some forms of mental illness are difficult to hide, as with my brother. I knew someone with a supposed perfect life - beautiful wife, two lovely children, good job etc. He was always posting happy pictures on Facebook, pictures of him and his wife at glamorous events. He took his own life.

Anniebach

Manic depression is now known as Bipolar, it is a serious mental illness , impossible for the sufferer to hide the fact

Thanks Annie that rings true mood swings and high suicide rate.