Nicola Bulley 45y Old mum of 2 little girls missing from River Wyre area since last Friday morning at 9:15am walking her dog, Willow.

They so often keep it very well hidden, Juicywords. You have seen evidence of that here. I was a practising solicitor. You would not have known what was in my head.

Agree Joseanne , she dropped her children off at school , I
assume her behaviour was the same as other mornings, her partner had no problem with his children being driven in a car by ‘a functional alcoholic’, ?

You were and are a very wise Mum, Annie. My problem was easily treatable and it was ‘just’ brought on by a traumatic birth. Your dear daughter’s illness was very different and you couldn’t have done more. 💐

Anniebach

I should have been a ‘wise mum’ !

Stop that. ^ I'm sorry to your daughter's death.

You did what you could, you worked with what information she allowed. Even I know - and I'm last to suss out information on GN.

Oh Anniebach, this is all so raw for you. Please don't carry the guilt.

5. Taking your children to school (knowing that you are leaving them and not taking them with you).
That is a very strange one. Would someone at school not have noticed her exaggerated goodbyes and hugs at dropping off time if she were contemplating such an act?

Please don't feel guilty, Anniebach 😥
I'm sorry if I upset you.
I think if someone is determined, then nothing will stop them and it's often not easy if they are giving no indication. Even if they do, you can't be on watch all the time.

Wyllow3

Juicywords

I also don’t feel this was suicide, but a tragic accident. Nicola was laughing and joking with dog walkers minutes before she disappeared. Whilst on the walk she also called a friend and arranged to meet up. There was also the work call. These aren’t things a person would do who, at that time, was suicidal.
www.lancs.live/news/lancashire-news/nicola-bulley-laughing-joking-just-26135864

Sadly I'm afraid these are things that someone suicidal could do. Records of for example the many young men that commit suicide (its the major cause of death - yes the major - former between 25 and 45 - show they were "Acting as normal" right before. the pressure to "put on a front" is so huge, the shame so great still. words like, "aways laughing, great Dad" etc are very common.

If it is a suicide - and of course we still have to find out - it does explain the police's original suppositions. Information originally only held by the police (who had attended the house 2 weeks before as well as an unspecified other agency) was not released in the insistence from the family "everything was just normal". When the police did disclose her vulnerability, it was done very clumsily - the reference to the menopause was necessary and very ????. It would have been enough to say, "evidence that she was emotionally very vulnerable". If it had been initially released in this way, its just possible there would have been less media speculation, but I cannot be sure of that at all!

I really don’t think you could put on a “front” to such an extent:
1. Talking with dog walkers in a light hearted way minutes beforehand
2. Arranging to meet up with a friend
3. Carrying on with work
4. Not tying up your dog to the bench
5. Taking your children to school (knowing that you are leaving them and not taking them with you)

Suicidal people are in severe distress (at the time of suicide) and cannot “carry on as normal”, and I really don’t believe that on that morning she was preparing to take her life.

I should have been a ‘wise mum’ !

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I agree, Wyllow. A functioning alcoholic would be good at putting on a front. People often have no idea until it’s too late.
Thanks again, all. My Mum was wonderful.

(sorry, the reference to the menopause was UNECESSARY)

Juicywords

I also don’t feel this was suicide, but a tragic accident. Nicola was laughing and joking with dog walkers minutes before she disappeared. Whilst on the walk she also called a friend and arranged to meet up. There was also the work call. These aren’t things a person would do who, at that time, was suicidal.
www.lancs.live/news/lancashire-news/nicola-bulley-laughing-joking-just-26135864

Sadly I'm afraid these are things that someone suicidal could do. Records of for example the many young men that commit suicide (its the major cause of death - yes the major - former between 25 and 45 - show they were "Acting as normal" right before. the pressure to "put on a front" is so huge, the shame so great still. words like, "aways laughing, great Dad" etc are very common.

If it is a suicide - and of course we still have to find out - it does explain the police's original suppositions. Information originally only held by the police (who had attended the house 2 weeks before as well as an unspecified other agency) was not released in the insistence from the family "everything was just normal". When the police did disclose her vulnerability, it was done very clumsily - the reference to the menopause was necessary and very ????. It would have been enough to say, "evidence that she was emotionally very vulnerable". If it had been initially released in this way, its just possible there would have been less media speculation, but I cannot be sure of that at all!

Callistemon21

Germanshepherdsmum Thank goodness for your wise mother

Precisely. That all should have such a wise Mum...

I also don’t feel this was suicide, but a tragic accident. Nicola was laughing and joking with dog walkers minutes before she disappeared. Whilst on the walk she also called a friend and arranged to meet up. There was also the work call. These aren’t things a person would do who, at that time, was suicidal.
www.lancs.live/news/lancashire-news/nicola-bulley-laughing-joking-just-26135864

Baggs

Maggiemaybe said: Sadly, when people drown without witnesses, it can be very difficult to find them, as currents and all things lurking beneath (weed, debris, etc) come into play. If not held down by something like this, it is normal for them to surface within a few weeks.

Just so. It puzzled me all along that the diver brought in, Faulding, only talked about a body being at the bottom of the river.

Also, knowing that river as I grew up near it, it is very muddy, and the tides going in and out will stir that up twice a day making searching very difficult, as it clearly was.

When, sadly, someone I knew fell into a local river we were told that it would take at least a week for the body to surface. And that wasn’t in an area that was tidal and with such steep banks with reeds everywhere. My first thought when I first saw news coverage of the river was how dangerously steep the banks were and how scared I would be to walk a child or a dog along its banks. I’m sure the sort of clothes people are wearing makes a huge difference and it’s all but impossible to swim whilst wearing heavy clothing.

Dickens banning newspapers from printing current stories is censorship no matter how you word it. Anyway, if you ban the papers what else? TV and online media sources? What about foreign media? Social media - This is the problem. It was because of rumours starting in social media and those wanting to monetise it that led to Lancashire making the statement they did with the family's consent.

Once police and other influential sources would have words in an editor's ear - like the reporting on Edward VIII's affair with Wallis Simpson - but Pandora's box has been opened and with all the outlets, responsible and irresponsible hunting and recycling news. Trying to control all that is being said in cases like this is impossible. The best tactic is the one the Lancashire police and the family followed - that of total disclosure, no matter how distressing.

Germanshepherdsmum Thank goodness for your wise mother

Rosina

I also read that there were people who were about to sell stories about her to the press - this almost beggars belief - and the release of personal details was to forestall any of the shock/horror media reaction.

I also read that there were people who were about to sell stories about her to the press - this almost beggars belief

... I've reached the point where I'm not shocked any more at some people's crassness. But in common with most, am angered by it.

Perhaps in cases such as this one, the media should be banned from printing such 'stories' and personal information relayed to them by random members of the public? If they - these individuals with information 'for sale' - know something the rest of us don't, they should be giving this information to those conducting the investigations instead? With no financial reward perhaps these vile people would wind in their wild speculation and tittle-tattle? They are beneath contempt.

Maggiemaybe said: Sadly, when people drown without witnesses, it can be very difficult to find them, as currents and all things lurking beneath (weed, debris, etc) come into play. If not held down by something like this, it is normal for them to surface within a few weeks.

Just so. It puzzled me all along that the diver brought in, Faulding, only talked about a body being at the bottom of the river.

Also, knowing that river as I grew up near it, it is very muddy, and the tides going in and out will stir that up twice a day making searching very difficult, as it clearly was.

I also read that there were people who were about to sell stories about her to the press - this almost beggars belief - and the release of personal details was to forestall any of the shock/horror media reaction.

Iam64

Thank goodness for a tuned in mother who acted gsm 💖

People who commit suicide don’t always leave notes. I read that Mr Fielding the expert who insisted Nicola wasn’t in the river stands by this. He says he only searched the river bed, not the reeds and debris along the banks.

It now seems the working hypothesis reached by Lancs police when Nicola was reported missing was correct.

And they released the personal details about her personal lie because they were under unprecedented criticism from the public. I’m someone that can be quite critical of the police but we don’t have to deal with some of the awful things they have to on a daily basis. Everything about this case is tragic beyond belief.

Germanshepherdsmum

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I just wanted to make the point that people often believe, so wrongly, that they are doing the best thing for their family, doing their family a kindness. They act out of love for them. I expect that with the inquest we will hear more about the realities of Nicola’s life and problems. It’s all very sad.

😟

Thank goodness for a tuned in mother who acted gsm 💖

People who commit suicide don’t always leave notes. I read that Mr Fielding the expert who insisted Nicola wasn’t in the river stands by this. He says he only searched the river bed, not the reeds and debris along the banks.

It now seems the working hypothesis reached by Lancs police when Nicola was reported missing was correct.

Everything about all of this has been so muddled in so many ways.
Lets' hope that the pm is conclusive in the first instance.
I know someone who had 3 post mortems.

Very sad, too awful for the family, waiting for her to come home or be found. Now that Nicola’s body has been recovered, they can grieve, not knowing when someone disappears you’re always hoping.