Minimum age for marriage is now 18

Fleurpepper

Perhaps we should stick to the discussion on age of marriage.

This isn’t the first time you’ve tried ( but not succeeded) to dictate the flow of the thread.
You aren’t in the classroom now. We are all adults and will post what we wish to.

Why should this thread not meander in the way discussions do Fleurpepper?

Ladyleftfieldlover’s post resonated with me. My nephew applied to the Royal Marines when he was in 6th form. His much loved and admired grandpa had bern a royal marine. In ww2. Nephew wasn’t enjoying A levels and was attracted by the idea of foreign travel as well as wanting to emulate grandpa. His parents refused to sign but agreed he didn’t need to complete his A levels. He did an apprenticeship and by 20 was clear the military life wasn’t for him.

Being old enough to make key decisions is an important discussion. Having said this, I acknowledge, many children have no real choice about under age marriage and the law should be enforced

Perhaps we should stick to the discussion on age of marriage.

Elder son wanted to join the Royal Marines after GCSEs at 16. Both parents needed to sign consent and neither of us would. He stayed at school and did A-levels and joined the Marines at 18. At 19 he was in Iraq followed by Afghanistan. After six years he gave notice. He was fed up of being shot at. The stories he told would make your hair curl.

Men who have reached the age of majority can volunteer. Children can only join up with parental permission. That alone shows that they are not deemed to be able to make such an important decision without adult input.

DD2 and many other children that I taught went on the Army recruiting day trips where they had a brilliant time playing on the obstacle course, firing rifles and being told what a wonderful life it was. They were shown a film which stressed the fun opportunities such as skiing in Norway, scuba diving in Cypress and seeing the world. No mention of what being a soldier really entails. No mention of shooting at and being shot at. No mention of what can happen to you physically and mentally. No mention of suffering from nightmares decades after you've left. These children are sold a dream.

DD2 wasn't swayed. She just had a great time. However, I know several children who went on to join up as soon as they left school.

I think it is still possible to marry at 16 in Scotland without parent's consent.

I would have married my husband when I was 16 and he was 20 as we had already been together for two years but we had no money and needed to pass our exams, get a proper job and save up to get married.

Therefore we had a six year "courtship" during which we were not able to live together as that was not allowed.

At least it's not compulsory National Service as still happens in many countries, including several European countries.
What a price to pay if and when especially as it is not a voluntary decision.

Do you not agree with having Armed Services for defence?

Better one volunteer than ten pressed men.

Callistemon21

Fleurpepper

Totally agree vampirequeen. Joining any armed forces should never be for children, below 18.

They are not allowed to join below the age of 18 without parental permission.

No entrant under 18 would be sent on operations outside the UK.
Other European countries eg Germany, The Netherlands, stipulate a minimum age of 17 which seems reasonable.

Many who join undertake years of apprenticeship similar to civilian apprenticeships.

I am fully aware of the conditions, thanks. What difference does parental permission make to the fact they are tied for at least 4 years, as soon as they reach 18. Yes, that is the pull, the training, the trips and sports, etc. But what a price to pay, if and when.

They're still classed as being in the armed forces. Marriage used to be allowed with parental permission but now it's been decided that it's no longer acceptable. If a child can't vote or marry then they shouldn't be in the armed forces with or without parental permission.

They do all the training so that they're ready to be used from their 18th birthday onwards.

My DH was a child soldier and he refused to sign for his son to join up. He says it's not a decision that a child should make and not a situation a child should be placed in.

Fleurpepper

Totally agree vampirequeen. Joining any armed forces should never be for children, below 18.

They are not allowed to join below the age of 18 without parental permission.

No entrant under 18 would be sent on operations outside the UK.
Other European countries eg Germany, The Netherlands, stipulate a minimum age of 17 which seems reasonable.

Many who join undertake years of apprenticeship similar to civilian apprenticeships.

Your GP observed patient confidentiality, Fleurpepper. Good for him.

I was 17 hubby 19 and we celebrate 46 years of marriage in April. Nit fir everybody but I’d do it again.

Totally agree vampirequeen. Joining any armed forces should never be for children, below 18.

Sad but it has been done to protect young people in danger of forced marriage. Not too unusual in some areas for those about to enroll for their A levels not to reappear in school as they have been tricked into a 'holiday' in the old home and 'married' to an uncle/cousin etc. The illegality of marriage at that age in this country means stronger protection for them if they realise what's afoot - there will be posters up in school with info and numbers for help. www.supportline.org.uk/problems/forced-marriages/

18 is the recognised age of maturity so should be the age when people can get married. I'm glad the law has changed as previously we were condoning child marriage. Children cannot sign a contact yet we let them contract into a marriage. Now we just need to change the age they can join the armed forces. No more child soldiers.

18 seems ridiculously young to me, but I suppose it suits some people. I was still at school, and in full-time education until I was 24 (school followed by two full-time degrees). I suppose that wouldn’t have stopped me marrying, but the thought never entered my head. I had a friend who married at 22, and I thought she was crazy!

I married at 28, as did my mother.

Other methods were also available, and condoms easy to get.

NotTooOld

Grantanow

I wish I'd had a trial marriage for my first one (and I was 21). The second one (before which we lived together for a couple of years) worked out fine - 40 years and counting.

Looking back, it was quite cruel that 'trial marriages' were taboo in those days, very early 60s in my case. There was no birth control pill then, of course, and girls had it drummed into them that marriage must come before sex in case of an unwanted pregnancy - 'good girls just say no'. Naturally, many couples ignored this nonsense but single parents were very frowned upon and the phrase 'fallen woman' was not unknown in our part of London. Many early marriages came about for these reasons. Things are so much better now.

When are you talking about? Birth control was available from the mid early 60s, and certainly freely available from the mid 60s.

Many of my friends played Russian roulette, and many got pregnant, had babies very young or one or several abortions.

Some, like me, went to their GP and said 'I am sexually active and want to do the responsible thing, please could you put me on the pill'. He knew my parents well, but shook my hand and said 'good for you, yes of course' and kept stum.

I remember those stories, mokryna. I wonder how many of those Gretna Green marriages survived?

Do you remember hearing many years ago on the BBC, daughter missing, father heading for Gretna Green?
People can still get married in Scotland at the age of 16.

Grantanow

I wish I'd had a trial marriage for my first one (and I was 21). The second one (before which we lived together for a couple of years) worked out fine - 40 years and counting.

Looking back, it was quite cruel that 'trial marriages' were taboo in those days, very early 60s in my case. There was no birth control pill then, of course, and girls had it drummed into them that marriage must come before sex in case of an unwanted pregnancy - 'good girls just say no'. Naturally, many couples ignored this nonsense but single parents were very frowned upon and the phrase 'fallen woman' was not unknown in our part of London. Many early marriages came about for these reasons. Things are so much better now.

I wish I'd had a trial marriage for my first one (and I was 21). The second one (before which we lived together for a couple of years) worked out fine - 40 years and counting.

I support the change as well. While 18 is still terribly young it’s what we consider an “adult” and so that’s the minimum. I was a younger bride at 19, and it was difficult though I wouldn’t change a thing. So far our kids have married at 27, 26, and 21. On the younger side but all are
Thriving and well. We have two unmarried as well - 22 and 30 at present.

I understand the thinking behind the decision, but it did make me chortle. Only one of my children married before 30, two of them were in their forties, and one daughter has been with her OH since they were teenagers and married last year after fifteen years.
I'd like to know the ages of GN ers children marrying- I suspect few will have wed in their teens.

I got married at 20 and I was far too young. We had to get married, NO I was not pregnant that was before EU and we had to for immigration reasons, we could not have lived together had we not married. Still together 52 years later, but 18 is far too young and I am glad this new Law is in force, for all the girls pushed into arranged marriages mainly.