It's interesting you say that Galaxy. Perhaps there needs to be some charity that would provide a female chaperone who could translate, if needed?
I realise it may be confusing because I've mentioned an abusive ex in my past, previously in this post, but I've been married to a very kind man for a few decades.
Because I've been seriously ill this year and unable to walk, he has taken me to every medical appointment and a few times he's pushed me in a wheelchair from the car. He's been able to listen and help me make sense of things when perhaps I might struggle on my own.
Perhaps the Dr should ask the woman if she wants him to leave the room? I would say I wanted him there in most cases, but if others didn't want him there they should have that chance. If they had asked me when my ex (abuser) was there I would have welcomed the chance to talk without him hearing.
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News & politics
The bravery of Gisele Pelicot.
(148 Posts)I have struggled to read this dreadful story.
I really do not know how Gisele Pelicot has got through each day in court.
Her bravery and that of her children is quite incredible.
Her waiving her anonymity was her way of reversing the shame.
We have to come to terms with the fact that supposedly normal upstanding people can be such animals.
I recently went to the ladies loos in a big supermarket, there was a man in there urinating with the door half open.
I challenged him as did another lady, my husband said, I’m sure it was innocent, I was furious with him, you know when there are no urinals you have walked into the wrong one!
This man clearly got his kicks from invading a female space and to a degree exposing himself.
This may seem petty, but these men often do go on to commit further sexual crimes.
Gisele Pelicot thought for months her husbands only crime was “upskirting” in a supermarket.
Her shock at hearing the truth she said was like being hit by a tsunami.
I pray she recovers from her ordeal and has a happier life ahead of her.
Again, if you read the whole thread, it explains how her husband always accompanied her to the doctor and explained away her symptoms, including putting it down to dementia
Sorry Missinterpreted the symptoms associated with dementia have no connection with STD s do they? I ve never known anyone with dementia to have symptoms connected with a sexually transmitted disease The husband could perhaps fool a doctor with his wife’s lack of memory or feeling woozy each morning etc but surely the doctor would not connect four different STD s with dementia
Didn’t she and the doctors have any red flags as to where these STDs were coming from ?
It just seems a horrifically weird case
I actually think no doctors visit should allow a partner to be present ( obviously with dementia etc this may be different) I have very serious concerns for examples for women who have husbands present to translate for them, there is no opportunity for them to speak to professionals privately.
BlueBelle
So agree Oops JJ just me being sensitive I guess There are so many strands to abuse so many reasons, from genetics to childhood happenings some abusers were abused some abused would never dream of harming another its a huge huge subject
This man sounds totally without any conscience at all
What is the biggest worry of all is the 70/80 men who went along with it they included married men a police or was it fire chief, neighbours some young men of 22 what on earth would they want with a woman of 60 or so it beggars belief that there were so many men over this period willing to pay money (presume they paid) for this ‘thrill’
It's ok Bluebelle, its a sensitive subject at the best of times. I think most women are upset by the case even if they've never been abused by a partner.
Her husband lied that she must have had an affair. That's what these evil men do: victim blame. Meanwhile society sees them as " a good man" who takes his wife to the Dr and such. 
Ah, my mistake. Sorry, MissInterpreted
I must learn to read the whole thread!
I agree, this case is absolutely horrific and disturbing.
BUT we clearly don't know the full sordid facts yet. We may not want to.
Would we have no
realization, or suspicion, if we had been heavily drugged over a significant number of years?
Rekarie
Did she not go to a doctor for the HIV test and the STDs she suffered?
Again, if you read the whole thread, it explains how her husband always accompanied her to the doctor and explained away her symptoms, including putting it down to dementia.
Did she not go to a doctor for the HIV test and the STDs she suffered?
grandtanteJE65
Retread
Sago of course rape wouldn’t be the first thing that would come to mind, but if it was ongoing, or kept happening, I’d definitely have spoken to someone (e.g. my doctor) about it. She didn’t. It is simply a puzzling aspect of this case.
I do feel very sorry for her.I do not find it puzzling that she did not consult a doctor.
I have not read anything about the case, but presumably she was having sexual intercourse with her husband?
If so she probably assumed that any soreness or other symptoms were just part of normal married life, and she may have been too embarrassed to go to a doctor.
There are still women who know very little about their bodies and presumably the husband in this case is a very plausible person.
How else would he suceed in drugging his wife, and prostituting her without her knowledge or consent?
If you'd read this whole thread, you would understand how this could happen.
Tanjamaltija
What I cannot understand is how not one single man reported the husband to the Police, who would then have made a sting operation. Not one single man thought this was bad, degrading, criminal, obscene.
He didn't drag these men off the streets.
The men were willing participants
ExDancer
What exactly does 'gaslighting' mean? I'd thought it was an expression young people used when a girl/boy friend suddenly started ignoring them.
That’s ghosting.
What I cannot understand is how not one single man reported the husband to the Police, who would then have made a sting operation. Not one single man thought this was bad, degrading, criminal, obscene.
Retread
Sago of course rape wouldn’t be the first thing that would come to mind, but if it was ongoing, or kept happening, I’d definitely have spoken to someone (e.g. my doctor) about it. She didn’t. It is simply a puzzling aspect of this case.
I do feel very sorry for her.
I do not find it puzzling that she did not consult a doctor.
I have not read anything about the case, but presumably she was having sexual intercourse with her husband?
If so she probably assumed that any soreness or other symptoms were just part of normal married life, and she may have been too embarrassed to go to a doctor.
There are still women who know very little about their bodies and presumably the husband in this case is a very plausible person.
How else would he suceed in drugging his wife, and prostituting her without her knowledge or consent?
Quite important that we take crimes such as upskirting very seriously, it's how he was caught, these crimes very frequently are an indicator of very serious criminality, the same with flashing.
They obviously thought it would be consensual. Fair enough. That sort of thing happens.
Evil beyond compare... no other words.
If they were decent they would have gone straight to the police and reported her husband but they were afraid for themselves and did nothing. Shame on them.
Please let us have an edit button I am fed up of clicking the wrong button before I have finished commenting.
Aveline
Beyond sickening. Only 3 men refused as she was unconscious. 3 decent men.
Three decent men.????? How are they decent when they turned up at a strangers home to have sex with a woman they did not know but then said no and walked away just because she was unconcious.
So agree Oops JJ just me being sensitive I guess There are so many strands to abuse so many reasons, from genetics to childhood happenings some abusers were abused some abused would never dream of harming another its a huge huge subject
This man sounds totally without any conscience at all
What is the biggest worry of all is the 70/80 men who went along with it they included married men a police or was it fire chief, neighbours some young men of 22 what on earth would they want with a woman of 60 or so it beggars belief that there were so many men over this period willing to pay money (presume they paid) for this ‘thrill’
Yes she is a true heroine and yes I think many would not be so brave.
I wish her well, she is a true heroine. And her daughter. So many would have shrunk from bring them all to justice.
Thank you, JaneJudge. We are all just hoping that her abuser receives an appropriate sentence when he is back in court next month. The one saving grace is that he did plead guilty (albeit right at the last minute), meaning she didn't have to give evidence in court, which would have been extremely distressing for her.
God that is horrific 
I'm sorry about your friends daughter MissI. She has been very brave 
And here's yet another horrific case of abuse (yes, sorry, I know it's a link to the DM):
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13820483/woman-poland-josef-fritzl-cruel-experiments.html
I was so beaten down that I didn't realise it was illegal when it happened to me, but I knew other things were.
Abusers are super evil and divisive. They know what they are doing and make it their life's work to cover it up at any means. Unfortunately there are some who think they are a "good man". They do not see this person behind closed doors, so they believe the deception.
Although in the case of Giseles husband there were many who knew he was NOT a good man. I hope the full truth comes out about ALL of them and that the rest of them are found.
I wonder too where he found such powerful sedatives, but the dark web probably. It needs shutting down.
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