Will Messrs Reeves and Raynor Still Be Around This Time Next Year?

Casdon

Don’t ask me Allira, it was just an observation that I think a fair proportion of current SAHMs are in that category now. Nothing I’ve said has been a value judgement.

I don't know the answer either.
We looked after some DGC when their mother worked part-time which worked well, but not everyone has family near enough, including our other DC.

Don’t ask me Allira, it was just an observation that I think a fair proportion of current SAHMs are in that category now. Nothing I’ve said has been a value judgement.

jasper16

Never mind. I think it's sad that parents have to work and children are in costly childcare and full time, long days at 4.
Just to keep heads above water.

Is it worth it, I wonder?

Long days at 1 or 2, never mind 4.

There were school nurseries when I was a child in the 1940s, I remember going at age 4 and my mother went back to work.
We had to have an afternoon nap on horrible little camp beds, I remember nothing more about it.

Casdon

Surely a lot of SAHMs are those just surviving financially, with under fives, on universal credit, rather than being the wives of rich men?

Universal Credit? Nursery vouchers?

So why are SAHMs (who are now Gransnetters) criticised by some on here when they received none of these things? Not even HRP until 1978.

Paradoxically only rich families can afford child care Casdon

Surely a lot of SAHMs are those just surviving financially, with under fives, on universal credit, rather than being the wives of rich men?

Never mind. I think it's sad that parents have to work and children are in costly childcare and full time, long days at 4.
Just to keep heads above water.

Unless they're breaking the law, of course...

GG13 was just surmising. I don't think she actually knows the couple being discussed.

It still isn't anyone's business but theirs though.

They cope as GG has said because one has a large salary. The point I was making.

jasper16

escaped

In an ideal world, there would be choices for everyone.
I just find the suggestion that SAHMs have no topics of conversation other than their children, or that they spend all day cleaning the house, a bit insulting. My DD can hold a very interesting conversation on a variety of subjects, but they do not fit the career box.

How do they cope finacially with this lifestyle please?

I don't think how they cope is anyone's business

one of which should read some of which

jasper16

escaped

In an ideal world, there would be choices for everyone.
I just find the suggestion that SAHMs have no topics of conversation other than their children, or that they spend all day cleaning the house, a bit insulting. My DD can hold a very interesting conversation on a variety of subjects, but they do not fit the career box.

How do they cope finacially with this lifestyle please?

How do they cope financially?

I imagine that the parent who goes out to work has a high paying job.

We know lots of our ACs married friends, one of which is high flying with a large salary. They are more than happy for the other one to remain home and take care of the child/ren and all things domestic. It’s not always the female either.

jasper16

escaped

In an ideal world, there would be choices for everyone.
I just find the suggestion that SAHMs have no topics of conversation other than their children, or that they spend all day cleaning the house, a bit insulting. My DD can hold a very interesting conversation on a variety of subjects, but they do not fit the career box.

How do they cope finacially with this lifestyle please?

Just like working mothers, I suppose their circumstances will all be different.

Some, in lower-paid jobs, would find the cost of childcare, travel etc would outweigh any financial benefit in working.

In June 2021, 75.6% of mothers with dependent children were employed, which was the highest level in 20 years.
Ergo 24.4% do not.


In families with one child, more than half (55.1%) of both parents work full-time. In families with three or more children, only about one-third (36.3%) of both parents work full-time.

escaped

In an ideal world, there would be choices for everyone.
I just find the suggestion that SAHMs have no topics of conversation other than their children, or that they spend all day cleaning the house, a bit insulting. My DD can hold a very interesting conversation on a variety of subjects, but they do not fit the career box.

How do they cope finacially with this lifestyle please?

In an ideal world, there would be choices for everyone.
I just find the suggestion that SAHMs have no topics of conversation other than their children, or that they spend all day cleaning the house, a bit insulting. My DD can hold a very interesting conversation on a variety of subjects, but they do not fit the career box.

There aren't really choices though are there, these days? Both parents are obliged to work. The bar is set very high in terms of what is expected of people who work. Nobody is remotely interested if a parent is concerned about an ill child. It's all about slogging away.

As I've said before, I think it's all wrong that tiny children are putting in a 50 hour week. They must be exhausted and then behavioural problems are diagnosed.

What is with this thread. My words were that my mum wasn’t prepared to accept that full time motherhood was her destiny, not what you said?
She was born in the 1920s, it was what was expected of her, and she bucked the system. I wasn’t talking about anything but my own mum’s experience, and I certainly wouldn’t patronise her.
Can you explain why you think saying that is patronising, and who it is patronising to please madelene?

Maybe some of it also has to do with mindset. Some SAHMs can be equally mentally satisfied without the need for a challenging career. We all measure personal fulfilment differently, which is why it is unfair to pass judgment either way on choices.

prepared to accept that full time motherhood wasn’t her destiny

What a patronising remark!
Belittling other women who made different decisions, usually out of necessity because there weren’t any nurseries available.

What happened to the sisterhood?

For what it’s worth I taught full time before my first child was born, and taught for a further twenty years after they were all at school.

Mollygo

*To each their own, and own it as far as I’m concerned.*
There’s a good motto.

Indeed.

However, life is a series of choices and we have to make the best of whatever life throws at us by trying to choose another path forward.

To each their own, and own it as far as I’m concerned.
There’s a good motto.

Mollygo

Casdon

Or maybe all women should just own the choices they make. There isn’t a right or wrong, but choices, whether conscious or not, are what determine how we and our families function.

Exactly, but that doesn’t explain the implied or direct criticisms of peoples choices that keep appearing on here.

To each their own, and own it as far as I’m concerned.

Casdon

Or maybe all women should just own the choices they make. There isn’t a right or wrong, but choices, whether conscious or not, are what determine how we and our families function.

Exactly, but that doesn’t explain the implied or direct criticisms of peoples choices that keep appearing on here.