Toilet training - government responsible ?

My brother and I were toilet trained to the sound of bombs!!

I don't think it's only a case of disposable nappies being so much less work, I think the child not feeling uncomfortable in a cold, wet towelling nappy has a lot to do with it. It's not down to lazy parenting as the only cause. My four all achieved day and night time control at different ages, although my 'training schedule' was pretty consistent amongst them. All were dry in the day by 2 or shortly after. One was dry at night before he was dry in the day.
When my children were in nursery class aged 4 it wasn't rare for a parent to be handed a plastic carrier bag with their child's wet clothes in, along with their child in unfamiliar clothes the nursery kept for the expected occasional 'accidents'. They had a range of clothes in various sizes that you laundered and returned to them.

I used disposable nappies but had no problem toilet training my children. DD in particular actively wanted, 'No more nappies Mum!' She was clean and dry from that day forward. Fine by me.

I took mine to work with me my daughter was 8 days old when I was back in work.I know I as lucky being self employed I could take time out during the day to go to playgroup with her or drop her at nursery when she was 3 for her 3 hour session .She was the most sociable baby/ child you could hope to meet.She had company all day every day and when she had her children we job shared both the work and the child care ..

It may have increased in numbers, but it was happening 35 years ago when my kids started school, so not a new phenomenon. I also recall at least one child (with no medical or learning issues) being brought to school in a buggy and still using a dummy every day

My mother was a war widow and I guess pretty traumatised! But I know for a fact that I was toilet trained day and night by 18 months as by then I was at day nursery, my mother at work to keep us both. Her pension was abysmal. My own children were clean and dry night and day by 3 years old, my son, 2 and a bit, my daughter. Grandchildren the.same. I'm afraid I just don't get why modern parents cannot do the same regardless of covid!! As has been said, disposable nappies are probably the clue!

Toilet training is the parent’s responsibility.I was a primary teacher for many years and it was never a problem like it is now.Broken families, lazy mums (and dads), the readiness to blame things on other people all contribute.Proper free pre school provision would certainly help .Years ago most children were dry by reception age.It was rare to have little four and five year olds who were not. There is no shame with some feckless attitudes today.Parenting classes should be compulsory.

Aveline

We definitely need Sure Start reintroduced

Absolutely.

Parents should be responsible for toilet training their children! I don't understand parental reluctance to do this. It is in the best interests of both the child and the parents. I had 3 in less than 4.5 years, all toilet trained by me (no family help) the youngest took longest and she was clean and dry day and night by around 17 months. I also recall that playschools/nurseries which took children at age 3 (2.5 in some cases) they had to be toilet trained before they could attend. I know some of you bleeding hearts will vilify me for this but it is just lazy parenting expecting the state to do everything for them. My grandchildren were also toilet trained by the age of 2, not my doing it was the parents.

So glad Sure Start is being introduced again and the focus on early years which is so important. Tories spitefully removed it. Some parents don’t know how to ‘parent’ so any help is essential whilst providing social support as well. We can’t knowingly deprive children because their parents have problems.

WellsRose

I remember kids having accidents at school in the 1970s so they weren't all fully potty trained.
Accidents in school are not really potty training, they are just examples of not getting to the toilet quickly enough or being to engrossed to go till it’s too late, or simply a long queue .
That happens to adults too, but I wouldn’t say they aren’t potty trained.

Personal Responsibility is sadly lacking in soooo many areas full stop don't get me started lol

GrannyGravy13

Two of our GC had wetting the bed issues up till they were 7’ish, totally dry at nursery and school during the day.

My youngest grandson was totally clean and dry from age three during the day, but wore nappies in bed till age six. He became dry at night within weeks of having his tonsils and adenoids out. His mother is a doctor, and told me these two things are known to be connected. I didn’t know that before. However as I said, he was clean and dry in the daytime from age three.

In my opinion the main reason that children are not toilet trained these days is disposable nappies. Back in the day, we had to wash nappies and it was a chore. Disposable nappies weren’t really available and were extremely expensive when they were. Washing nappies was a chore, especially in the winter, when it was difficult to dry them. Therefore there was a huge incentive to getting children dry, and although there were inevitably accidents, as MissA points out, most children were reasonably reliably clean and dry by 3/4 years old. Nowadays parents can just keep on using disposable nappies and it’s convenient, so they don’t bother trying to get children clean and dry. If parents both work, it’s really much easier to keep putting on the nappies.

I remember kids having accidents at school in the 1970s so they weren't all fully potty trained. My daughter developed a stutter when I tried potty training and I was advised to stop. As soon as she turned three, she wanted to go to the toilet and not use nappies.

GrannyGravy13

Jeanathome

Au pair and Nanny. There you go! easy.

My children were with me, while my career died a quiet death.

Not at the same time!

I had babies in my arms (on my breast) whilst dealing with customers / suppliers on the phone. Until they were mobile our babies were in prams or on blankets on the floor behind my desk.

Visiting building sites when 41 weeks pregnant, dealing with accounts four days after birth.

Yes easy as pie…

Fist bump Respect GG ( in my best Gangsta voice)

My girl, and my grandsons were all around two and half, I think, with dry beds at night, too.

My grandsons seemed to be really easy to train. (Not that I did it!)

My MiL was a recpetion class teacher until about 1970. She said she occasionally had children start in nappies

She said, her experience then was that it was almost always the youngest child in a large family where the mother loved babies and wanted her youngest child to sta one as long as possible. But even then children starting school in nappies were very very few

When DD was little the local playgroup took children from the age of 3 but they had to be out of nappies. Ive got photos of her running around in ordinary knickers by the age of 2 1/2 so must have got her trained by then. I think her brother took slightly longer but his real problem was bedwetting. He was in his teens before he stopped so never did any sleepovers with friends. We tried one of those alarms that wake you up, but after the first night, he just slept through it while the rest of the family woke up.

Can I just jump in to this please. I’m early years educator and even now we are still dealing with children not toilet trained leaving my room( early years 3/4 year olds ) going to school in nappies. 25 years I’ve worked in this room and never had this at all till now. Lazy parenting and blaming anything but themselves. I retire next year thank god!

Perhaps it was kept secret in years gone by?
Did you feel the need to be discreet, I expect so.

Yes, my son was dry in the day before he was two, but not at night until much older, about nine. His son also had problems at night, but his is a medical issue, still not fully resolved much later.

Ah, that's interesting.
Did one of their parents also have that issue when they were children?

Just wondering if there's some correlation.

Two of our GC had wetting the bed issues up till they were 7’ish, totally dry at nursery and school during the day.

I think it's a variety of reasons, social, practical, and others.

People would probably had no qualms about commenting if your child was still in nappies, back in the day.

Now it is perfectly acceptable, and it's been shown that their bladders can be unreliable up until age about seven.

Did our children have different bladders in those days?