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Toilet training - government responsible ?

(150 Posts)
ruthiek Thu 05-Dec-24 12:26:25

Just heard on Starmers reset that the government is to work to ensure children are school ready , especially toilet trained!
I am beginning to despair of this generation of parents , they are saying their mental health had been affected by COVID so they couldn't do the training!!
We had to toilet train our children in hard times and it was expected that before they went to school they were ready and that was for the child to fit in as much as helping the school . However I do think these parents need a wake up call if you bring a child into this world they are your responsibility, they didn’t ask to be born !!!!
Rant over

Freya5 Thu 05-Dec-24 12:41:30

I despair of ignorants , no sense in how to parent. Socialism, blame everyone but the obvious.
No excuse for not toilet training your child before school age. Unless there are medical problems, that's a different matter.

Doodledog Thu 05-Dec-24 12:47:27

How is failure to toilet train children blamed on socialism?

Marthjolly1 Thu 05-Dec-24 12:51:00

Toilet training is not that hard really is it. Maybe a bit of a chore. Perhaps a bit inconvenient at times. Surely in the best interests of the child's well-being and comfort. Maybe not done before nursery but definitely all done before P1. But then we weren't glued to our phones were we so we had the time to indulge in this inconvenience hmm

Grandmabatty Thu 05-Dec-24 12:51:22

Can you give a source for the parental comments please? They sound like bait for a certain demographic. Of course, Sure Start helped many parents with teaching basics. Not every parent knew how to parent. We all know what happened to Sure Start

Aveline Thu 05-Dec-24 12:53:36

We definitely need Sure Start reintroduced

Chocolatelovinggran Thu 05-Dec-24 13:12:09

Obviously we'll be able to sort the children arriving into Reception next year - Labour voting parents- children require potty training: Conservative voting parents- all children trained.
Sorry, Freya, but isn't that just potty ( sorry, couldn't resist)

Gin Thu 05-Dec-24 13:14:09

Perhaps if schools refused to admit children who were not toilet trained it would encourage addressing a very necessary part of a child’s development. Am I being naive? I suppose that would upset everyone.

If the majority of mothers work and the children are at a nursery, do they not toilet trained the children? They charge enough!

Smileless2012 Thu 05-Dec-24 13:15:46

Maybe, unless there are medical reasons for a child not being toilet trained when starting school, children shouldn't be allowed to attend until they are.

Our boys couldn't have started at the local playgroup until they were dry.

Smileless2012 Thu 05-Dec-24 13:16:29

Crossed posts Gin tchsmile.

AskAlice Thu 05-Dec-24 13:17:47

But I thought it was a legal requirement for children to attend school? Or for the parents to make provision for home-schooling?

Margiknot Thu 05-Dec-24 13:33:41

I think it’s only a legal requirement for children to go to school ( or have alternative education) in England and Wales in the term after their third birthday. This may be a whole year after actually starting in reception class.
Many children with learning disabilities start mainstream school because the system for assessing children’s needs are far far to slow ( and specialist school places insufficient) However this is a separate issue to normally developing children starting school without any attempt at toilet training. I remember when I was aged 4 that it was not uncommon for children in my class to have accidents occasionally and one little girl ( with learning delays) often.

Margiknot Thu 05-Dec-24 13:34:19

FIFTH birthday!

Wyllow3 Thu 05-Dec-24 13:37:31

Freya5

I despair of ignorants , no sense in how to parent. Socialism, blame everyone but the obvious.
No excuse for not toilet training your child before school age. Unless there are medical problems, that's a different matter.

Typical criticisms without thought.

A problem exists. Multi-factor reasons.

Schools highlight the problem of children arriving not potty trained.

Government tries to suggest some remedies that might be helpful.

Therefore its all the socialists fault.

Bizarre.

escaped Thu 05-Dec-24 13:37:37

Gin

Perhaps if schools refused to admit children who were not toilet trained it would encourage addressing a very necessary part of a child’s development. Am I being naive? I suppose that would upset everyone.

If the majority of mothers work and the children are at a nursery, do they not toilet trained the children? They charge enough!

We had this ruling at our (independent) school kindergarten, from age 3 and a half plus. You'd be surprised how many became toilet trained overnight. It's possible for anyone to do.

Wyllow3 Thu 05-Dec-24 13:39:02

I suppose we could blame the previous government as this is a long term problem but I wouldn't dream of it its so weird.

Wyllow3 Thu 05-Dec-24 13:41:20

Politics aside, I do genuinely wonder what has caused the change over the last few years so that mums and dads don't potty train?

RosiesMaw2 Thu 05-Dec-24 13:44:36

Interesting thread title.
I blame Brexit

Wyllow3 Thu 05-Dec-24 13:59:36

Here's an article on "why" quite interesting

eric.org.uk/why-are-children-potty-training-later/#:~:text=Changes%20in%20parenting%20style,parenting%20have%20also%20changed%20dramatically.

Certainly there was more pressure to potty train asap when you had to wash tolling nappies and children trailed around in wet soiled nappies.
I do admit I cant understand tho as you can make children so proud by being a "big boy or girl" for achieving nappy free.

Wyllow3 Thu 05-Dec-24 14:00:09

soiled nappies not tolling nappies.

Skydancer Thu 05-Dec-24 14:09:56

ruthiek, totally agree. Many of today's parents are probably too busy looking at their phones. I see them in the street, at railway stations and on public transport where small children are often totally ignored. Anything that requires effort is too much for a lot of them.

lixy Thu 05-Dec-24 14:13:41

Wyllow3

Politics aside, I do genuinely wonder what has caused the change over the last few years so that mums and dads don't potty train?

Disposable nappies becoming very cheap to buy is my guess.

My school also required children to be out of nappies before they started school but we had to drop that because the Local Authority deemed it discriminatory.
Parents were astonished that we took the children’s nappies off before morning registration and children were able to use toilets independently by the end of the first half term at the latest.
It did help, of course, that we had child height toilets.

Farzanah Thu 05-Dec-24 14:14:38

What a judgmental post.
That is a good link Wyllow and I think as an ex health visitor sums up the problem.

The loss of Sure Start had a negative effect on many families. Some parents struggle trying to work all hours to make ends meet, and some have never had much guidance from an often chaotic upbringing themselves.

If our children had a good start, well great, but it doesn’t do to be smug.

mae13 Thu 05-Dec-24 14:41:11

And tales of children at their first school unable to figure out the complexities of handling a knife, fork and spoon as they are only familiar with food that is eaten with the fingers: chips/fries, burgers, pizza and crisps.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 05-Dec-24 14:53:22

Aveline

We definitely need Sure Start reintroduced

Sure Start centres are still around currently over 2,204 (2023) down from 3,620 (2010)

We have one close to us which is in danger of closing due to lack of use