Thankfully nothing like that ever happened to me but as a newly wed I was dismayed when the seating arrangements at a tennis club dinner meant husbands and wives were split up.
I was seated between two men who were complete strangers. The one on my left was polite and friendly but the one on my right completely ignored me preferring to give all his attention to the young woman on his right.
Suddenly he yelled out, jumped out of his chair and ran from the room. I noticed his hand was bleeding.
Apparently he had been trying to slide his hand between the woman’s legs. Twice she tried to push his hand away without making a fuss but on the third attempt she stabbed the back of his hand with her fork.
There was no fuss. He didn’t return and she just calmly asked for a clean fork and carried on enjoying her meal.
I was full of admiration and we became good friends but I don’t think I’d have had the courage to remain so calm.
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(103 Posts)"Queen Camilla fought off sexual assault as teenager, book claims" I had to - and thought nothing of it as it was successful. I never considered I had been "sexually assaulted". What about you?
(Mine was in a car, after accepting a lift back from a 'hop' to the ski chalet I was staying in." )
How many Grans did so, successfully?
In the fifties it was touching your leg in the cinema. Or bus etc.
It happened often back in the 1950/1960s. We just dealt with it.
My friend was in love with a man she met in Morocco and he came over to visit with her and her family. He turned up alone and unexpectedly at my flat and I had to fight him off. They later married and I never told her. I went to stay with them several times when she moved to Casablanca with him. I often wondered if he had confessed. Probably not.
My first job was in a bank and I was confused when other women magically found urgent business to attend to if i was ever was on my own with a particular manager. The sisterhood in action.
Mine was mostly being pawed by my parents “friends”. I usually managed to extricate myself. Most unpleasant for a shy teenager.
It was hard to know how to react to these events. Another time I was standing at the bar waiting for my drink. I was in my 50s and felt 2 hands thrust right down the back of my pants.It was a neighbours 25 year old son but I froze and said nothing.
I worked in an office in London from the age of 16 . A big shipping company with lots of young staff. We had lots of flirting and fun but nothing untoward.
My boss was older and married with children. He was a perfect gentleman. He would buy me a peach from the local market and put it on my desk. He told me once, my eyes were the same colour as my hair. Golden! How sweet.
Never anything physical or explicit. Just a very nice man .
I can honestly say I never had anything to complain about all the time I worked in the City. It was all just innocent fun. I feel sorry for guys these days who can’t look at a girl without being accused of something.
Yes, but adept at avoiding the gropers.
It was nothing unusual when Camilla was young. I am the same age and was assaulted a few times always at work. Girls just put up with it as nothing would be done if they complained.
A consultant gastroeneterologist decided that examining my abdomen also involves stroking my breasts. Did I report him? .... no. He was a colleague of my OH's medical partner and it felt too awkward.
More seriously was an incident with a masturbating man on my walk home to my digs.
I think we did not use the word assault in those days .... we just knew that men would try it on.
And then there was the female tutor ..... now that was really hard to deal with at a time when homosexuality was not so acceptable. I had to find a way of acquiring a different tutor without getting this woman into trouble....
I really admired one of my work colleagues who, when a man exposed himself to her in a carpark, merely said 'oh dear' and walked on.
I was ten and walking to a friend's house down a country lane when a man followed me, chose his moment and picked me up and threw me on the ground.
I screamed and kicked so hard he ran off. He touched the top of my leg and that was it. I never told anyone but didn't walk down that lane again.
Around the same time a man stopped and asked me directions somewhere. I told him where to go but he wanted me to get in the car. I knew there was no way I would do that. My Uncle even spoke to him but the man didn't drive off until he realised his plan hadn't worked.
I was also assaulted at work by a manager who grabbed me and asked me for a kiss. This was infront of a co-worker who told me he was out of order and I shouldn't have kissed him! It was the worst kiss I ever had!
These things are not unusual, but happened all the time. I do think things are better now, because we never spoke about them then.
An older boy who lived near me had his bits and pieces on display underneath the streetlamp when I was on my way to the church youth club. I was 14 and very innocent. No brothers so the male anatomy was a mystery to me. I was scared stiff and ran the rest of the way.
Men were still under the impression that they were in control of the universe, and us little women were there for their amusement and pleasure.
Some still are
When I was a young teacher as soon as you went into the stockroom older male teachers would start kissing and groping you. I would give 5hem a shove and tell the. To b.off. Just more or less ‘normal’ then. No, I wasn’t traumatised by them. What did upset me was at the age of 13 a bloke around 30 grabbed me and kissed me on my lips and stuck his foul tongue in my mouth. That upset me for a long time.
It’s shocking that so many of us share similar experiences. I worked in offices where casual groping was the norm. We young women got used to avoiding, slapping faces. Awful
As a schoolgirl of seventeen, I was halfway up the stairs to the top deck of the bus, when an oily voice said 'Let's go upstairs, eh?' and I felt a hand on my thigh. Another male voice from behind suggested loudly that he take his hand away; I've never forgotten the frozen fear of that moment. Later, when working, we all knew which men to keep well away from, but 'accidental touching' still happened.
Good on Camilla for whopping that filthy pervert in the nicnacks with her shoe and good on her mum for teaching her how to do it! So many countless ''men'' over the years think they have the right to treat females as nothing but common ''easy'' objects.
I've been sexually assaulted over the years, once when I was 18 and walking my dog ... well, actually, Sheba was taking me for walkies ... ! on a canal path by a bloke who lived in the same block of flats as me.
In my 30s, I was r*ped in a ''domestic'' situation.
As a bus driver in my 40s, as I was climbing into the cab, a weirdo leapt on and groped my bum and tried to touch me in other ways. This was the final shift at 9 pm, so I'd be getting back to the depot about 12:50 am, and there were no witnesses, thankfully, because of what I proceeded to do to him!
Number 1 - reported to the ''police'' but they didn't want to know as they were basically saying I was ''just a girl with an overactive imagination''.
Number 2 - ''Police'' didn't want to know as the pervert was ''well respected and liked'' in the community, and charges would ''hurt his 3rd wife and 7th child''
Number 3 - I swung around and slapped him so hard in the face with my fist that his nose came flying off, and when he fell to the floor, I kicked him really hard in the face. He ended up with a broken nose, a broken jaw and 2 black eyes, and I told him if he ever reports me or grabs me again, he'll get a lot worse. Then I physically grabbed him by the collar, lifted him up and kneed him where it hurts most before throwing him off to the pavement, then I got in the cab and drove off!
In my late teens, I was on the upper deck of a bus in London quite late in the evening. I'm ashamed to admit I was smoking, as was allowed in those days. An older man came and sat next to me although there plenty of other seats free as there were only a few passengers.
He put his hand on my upper leg and leered at me. I was terrified but kept eye contact and very deliberately stubbed out my cigarette on the back of his hand. His yells attracted the attention of another (female) passenger who came to my rescue, gave him a mouthful of abuse and whacked him round the head with her fist. He ran down the stairs pretty quickly and disappeared off into the night.
My mum and aunt were "flashed" at in broad daylight when I was a teenager in the 70s. It was in the local shopping high street in East London. Unluckily for him, my aunt was holding a large folded umbrella at the time and she promptly whacked his bits with the spiked end and they calmly walked on past him as he was writhing on the pavement.
I feel very sad and angry that this seems to have been a common occurence for a lot of us in those days and we had to be prepared to defend ourselves from a young age.
A male friend of mine who started work at 18 told me the older girls often sent him upstairs to the stock room and followed him for a romp.
Yes, I've been 'touched up' a few times a long while back but fortunately I'd attended defence courses in my younger days which were fantastic. It was a long time ago and as I'm older now I do feel more wary than I used to be but so far so good
When I was in my early 20s, I decided to have contact lenses. A couple of friends recommended a place where the optician was 'attentive'. I went along and he sure was attentive! There I was in a dark room with this creep looking into my eyes and telling me I was gorgeous, touching my neck and shoulders. Not exactly sexual but very uncomfortable. I never went back. A while later he was reported by a girl who said he put his hand inside her blouse.
When dh and I lived in Cyprus aeons ago, there was a bloke who more than once cycled very slowly past me as I walked
to the shops and tried to put his hand up my (short) skirt at the same time.
I just tried to move away - never really said anything.
I’ve often thought that dds would probably have pushed him hard enough to make him fall off his bike, and probably told him to eff off, too!
I was brought up to be far too polite!
Worst, though, was on a train in the U.K. when I was early 20s. It wasn’t very busy, and opposite me (I was in a window seat) was a young man who had only one leg.
He started trying to chat me up. I was polite but didn’t want to be chatted up, so eventually pretended to be asleep.
Just as the train was pulling into my station, I ‘woke up’ to find him pretty openly masturbating - and as the train slowed further it went all over my (new!) shoes!
He mumbled ‘Sorry’ - I was too shocked to reply.
Just across the aisle had been sitting two girls who also got off. I told them what had happened, had they not noticed anything?
They were equally shocked, but no. Evidently he’d used his jacket as a shield.
The girls were very sympathetic - they were being met by their father and offered me a lift.
But I was changing trains, on the way to see my parents, so no thank you.
TBH the thing that annoyed me most was having to throw away my nice new shoes!!
I did tell my parents - I have never seen my father so angrily disgusted, either before or since!
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