British Indians still aborting baby girls in UK

This "Boys Only" policy has certainly backfired on the Chinese. There's such an overwhelming imbalance of few girls but a glut of boys that in some isolated rural communities it's not an unknown practice for girls to be kidnapped by parents desperate to get a bride for their surplus sons.

Ditto the Indian community I should imagine.

We meddle with nature at our peril.

FriedGreenTomatoes2

We meddle with nature at our peril.

You got that right......
My childhood dog had three litters of puppies and the balance was roughly 50:50 ish. So 7 of which 3 bitches and 4 dogs or vice-versa .......
A feminist I'm pro-choice and don't criticise anyone who has had an abortion but raised a Catholic I struggle with abortion and haven't had one myself.
Of all the reasons to have an abortion "because you're a girl" seems one of the most rotten ones.

In the 70s, through our business at the time, we became good friends with a Sikh guy who's family had really prospered and he had all the trappings of a young, rich man about town.

He married a local girl, very pretty and in the year below me at school. She'd seemingly adapted to a different way of life, adopting his familial culture of living in his family's home & deferring to her mother-in-law.

All was well until they had two daughters but no son. We were out with just him one night and I was shocked to the core when he started to tell us of his plans to "get rid" of his wife if the next child still wasn't a boy.

I thought he was just sounding off but he was deadly serious.

Needless to say our friendship didn't last very long after that.

Thankfully, she did go on to have a son and in time become an equal financial partner in all the family businesses but it was so shockingly chilling to be faced with a completely overt and justified - as far as he was concerned - plan to get a son.

Completely different cultural mind set, entrenched, and I'm not surprised it's still there fifty years on.

It’s appalling but am not surprised it still goes on.

A preference for boys is IMO a Thing in many cultures.

When I had dd2, my 2nd baby, we were living in the Middle East among an expat community with a lot of Greek Cypriots.

I’d never had an engagement ring, so right after the birth of dd2, dh bought me a lovely diamond and emerald ring.

When I showed it to a Greek Cypriot neighbour, she said, ‘You got that for a GIRL?’

Haven't read the article so assume must be illegal abortions here or go to India to have it carried out there. Absolutely awful.

My DIL is Sikh Indian. This time last year we met a family friend of hers in town. She asked if his wife had had the baby and he replied "oh yes, two weeks ago". She immediately replied "A girl?", which he confirmed. She told me after he'd left that she knew it was a girl, because if it had been a boy, they would have announced the news immediately and delivered chocolates and celebrations to all the local families. Sad how these rituals persist.

It’s one thing preferring to have a baby boy but quite another to have an abortion once it’s known that it’s a girl.

The full report does indeed confirm people travel abroad for many of the 400 cases over 5 years.

and its adds that "Groups like Jeena International work to empower women facing coercion and pressure to abort female fetuses".

I do think the O/P seems to rather hint it's an across the board problem in this culture but in fact is actually happening to a very small %.

Of course I don't approve, and believe that as time passes and both sons and daughters are introduced to improved cultural ideas of the status of women and girls that it will fade away. It has with the people I know:

as has been pointed out, it exists in some Christian cultures as well:

for me, the stories above, upthread, based in experiences and knowledge in the 70's and 80's *dont hack it*:

that is going back 40 or 50 years, the in fact is no current adequate evidence that says any more than

"work and campaign to change ideas"

Just as we have a lot of hard work to do within our very own host culture to improve rates of domestic and other abuse of women and girls - attitudes of white males have a great deal to yet be changed including those amongst the police and religious spaces.

Recent case of a wife being raped by her husband and other men whilst drugged up?

lets look at the issues of how women are regarded as a whole, whatever the culture

No let’s not, let’s concentrate on this particular problem which is the subject of this thread.

Henry VIII managed this issue in a number of ways, divorce and execution among them. Medieval.

It’s just awful that some people from India and Pakistan who have lived here in the UK for a long time are still giving in to the idea that baby girls are a shocking disappointment and in many cases are unwanted babies.

GrandmaKT

My DIL is Sikh Indian. This time last year we met a family friend of hers in town. She asked if his wife had had the baby and he replied "oh yes, two weeks ago". She immediately replied "A girl?", which he confirmed. She told me after he'd left that she knew it was a girl, because if it had been a boy, they would have announced the news immediately and delivered chocolates and celebrations to all the local families. Sad how these rituals persist.

The day my son was born the Indian woman next to me also had a son. You have never seen celebrations like it! The husband was running round the ward, punching the air, hugging everybody and their family brought in Indian sweet treats and beautiful gold jewellery.

The husband was a very well known photographer in Leicester who covered all the big Indian weddings etc and he told us to visit his shop when we were ready and he took the most beautiful photo of our son and had it framed all free of charge. I still have it and often remember them.

Oreo, you know very well that in some traditional Jewish communities boys are valued over girls.

It's changing because the concepts within the culture are changing and I see the same happening in different cultures as well.

I object to the premises of the thread because it is generalising from a tiny minority of a culture to "all" in that culture, citing behaviour 40/50 years ago.

Its all about valuing girls and women, whatever the culture

I don’t know that very well, or even at all as I am not from a traditional Jewish ‘community’…. We just happen to be Jewish.
Neither do we circumcise the boys in our family or eat Kosher.

But in any case I don’t believe that girls are so unwanted that traditional Jewish families prefer to have an abortion rather than a baby girl.
If that were the case there would be no Jewish ‘princesses’😄

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

And I don’t think that some cultures are changing fast enough unfortunately.

Oreo

No let’s not, let’s concentrate on this particular problem which is the subject of this thread.

Attempts at deflection.

I would have thought this would be out-dated now if people have been living here for more than a generation.
Mind you, reading recent stories in the press, I should not be surprised.

The only Indian families I know personally are educated, middle class and their daughters do seem valued too.

Oreo

It’s one thing preferring to have a baby boy but quite another to have an abortion once it’s known that it’s a girl.

A friend of a dd aborted a 3rd baby purely because it was a 3rd boy. She’d have kept a girl.,
TBH I don’t know how dd can still be friends with her.

Is a termination based on sex much different for one based on a baby having Down syndrome? The 18 week anomaly scan is carried out to detect such abnormalities with a view to potential termination.

This won’t be a popular answer - but better to abort an unwanted pregnancy than bring a child into the world to be hated & possibly abused.

The whole point of citing behaviour from 40-50 years ago is the attitude behind the behaviour remains unchanged all these many years on.

And giving examples of lived experience doesn't mean it's generalising "just a tiny minority" Willow3 any more than you asserting it is "just a tiny minority" makes that statement any more true.

It's just your viewpoint not a fact.