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Is it wrong to identify as something you aren’t?

(265 Posts)
Mollygo Mon 05-Jan-26 18:54:58

Jonathan Carley has upset people by dishonestly identifying as Rear Admiral and wearing apparel to support his claims.

He’s been arrested and fined.

The judge said your actions totally disrespected all those who have fought
and those legally entitled to claim the title.

Is there a lesson here?

Fallingstar Tue 06-Jan-26 17:02:33

I recall a fake interpreter for the deaf at a Mandela event some years ago, I believe a man just flapped his hands around in the background and of course the deaf community were in high dudgeon over that.

Magenta8 Tue 06-Jan-26 16:52:03

theworriedwell

Magenta8

I think people who pretend to be Rear Admirals are fairly harmless in comparison with people who pretend to be medical doctors* or qualified nurses.

I believe some people pretend to have PhDs or DPhils but that again seems relatively harmless.

Of course, it is morally wrong to pretend to have qualifications you don't have or to be something you are not.

*eg Gillian McKeith

I'm not bothered if someone says they are a medical doctor unless they start treating/examining people. I'm not sure what harm he would cause saying he's a rear admiral, I don't suppose he was commanding a fleet of ships.

Unfortunately, the case of a person pretending to be a medical doctor that I came across was in a situation where they were treating someone.

It was at a school dance where one of the dads pretended to be a physician so he could "treat" a young girl who was so drunk that she became unconscious. I was alarmed when he was clearly more interested in undoing her clothes than checking her breathing and putting her into recovery position. Needless to say I intervened.

Doodledog Tue 06-Jan-26 16:51:31

I believe it's legal to call yourself something like Princess Doodle of Dog, so long as you don't use the title to defraud anyone. I'm sure that if I adopted that name and decided to dress in long silk gowns and tiaras I couldn't be arrested for it, even if I got funny looks in Sainsburys. Isn't the classic stereotypical mad person someone who thinks he is Napoleon?

How did this chap get invitations to places where he could genuinely impersonate an Admiral? Aren't they taken from lists of serving (or retired) officers? I could understand a prosecution if he'd tried to captain a ship or something, and I can also understand people being infuriated by his claiming a rank he doesn't hold, but what harm did he actually do?

LemonJam Tue 06-Jan-26 16:38:25

He pleaded guilty in court and expressed apologies and remorse in court. He's been publicly exposed and humiliated- which will continue to follow him.

Allira Tue 06-Jan-26 16:29:25

LemonJam

Jonathan Carley said in his police interview he did it because had wanted a sense of "belonging and affirmation".

Well, if he wanted to really feel as if he belonged, perhaps he'd be happy to be court-martialled for wearing medals to which he was not entitled.

LemonJam Tue 06-Jan-26 16:27:54

I read he was a sports coach- seemingly motivating his teams well and well regarded. Quite sad in a way...

Allira Tue 06-Jan-26 16:25:51

MollyNew

Oreo

I suppose it was a bit of fantasy that went too far.He had quite a prestigious past didn’t he and maybe in retirement he needed to continue to be admired? Am certain he really regrets it, not a big fine really but it’s the shame of it that will haunt him.

What was his prestigious past? I haven't been able to find anything about him online apart from this criminal conviction.

He was a teacher.

Labradora Tue 06-Jan-26 16:21:53

Rocketstop2

BlueBelle

What about identifying as a cat ?

That is an insult to cats, and in fact I've heard they are instructing solicitors to act against anyone who attempts to impersonate them !

I can't have cats because I'm allergic although I've always admired their beauty and grace.
I have to say however that I love these cat posts!!!!
What is it that you cat owners say? " Dogs have owners : Cats have staff "
As a devoted dog lover I say ...."Vive la difference......"

Maremia Tue 06-Jan-26 16:08:24

Mental health issues, perhaps?
Wasn't he a teacher, in the past?

theworriedwell Tue 06-Jan-26 16:02:38

LemonJam

Jonathan Carley said in his police interview he did it because had wanted a sense of "belonging and affirmation".

That's quite sad

LemonJam Tue 06-Jan-26 15:05:24

Jonathan Carley said in his police interview he did it because had wanted a sense of "belonging and affirmation".

MollyNew Tue 06-Jan-26 14:55:26

Oreo

I suppose it was a bit of fantasy that went too far.He had quite a prestigious past didn’t he and maybe in retirement he needed to continue to be admired? Am certain he really regrets it, not a big fine really but it’s the shame of it that will haunt him.

What was his prestigious past? I haven't been able to find anything about him online apart from this criminal conviction.

theworriedwell Tue 06-Jan-26 14:54:14

Mollygo

Thats OK M0nica and Maremia.
A lot of people agree with the right to deceive if it suits their purpose.
It’s wrong if it is being used for fraudulent purposes:
fraudulent
unjustifiably claiming or being credited with particular accomplishments or qualities

It’s doubly wrong if it hurts someone or has the potential to hurt someone.
But he probably thought dressing up as and acting in the way he thought his fantasy would do wouldn’t hurt any one.
There’s an increasing number of men think like that.

He wasn't using it defraud anyone. He wasn't putting anyone in danger.

I don't get the disrespect, he wouldn't be imitating an admiral if he didn't think being a highly decorated admiral was a good thing to be. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I'm sure that used to be a saying.

Aren't the courts overwhelmed, people on serious charges being listed for hearings in 2028 but this can come to court In two months? Sense of proportion anyone.

Just to add I'm from a navy family. My father and uncle decorated for service In WW2..

Allira Tue 06-Jan-26 14:52:55

Yes, I remember Elegran.
It was a despicable thing to do.

Protecting your identity online is quite different from pretending to be someone of importance, eg a high-ranking Naval Officer with more medals than is normal and attending formal occasions organised by true veterans.

Elegran Tue 06-Jan-26 14:42:20

Maremia

Sorry GNs but just have to respectfully point out, that none of US are who we say we are. hmm

Our usernames make us anonymous, but most of us are honest in our opinions and in the little we reveal about our lives. Not revealing every detail is different from not being who we say we are - it is a survival mechanism on the internet, where being too open makes you vulnerable to nasties.

I still remember Phoenix posting something that identified the new job she had just landed - and the &%$£@ who copied, printed, and sent to the new boss a throwaway remark Phoenix had said about him (not identifying him or the job) after her interview. The &%$£@ could have poisoned the work relationship, if the boss hadn't torn the letter up.

AmberGran Tue 06-Jan-26 13:49:20

M0nica

GrannyGravy13

Maremia

Sorry GNs but just have to respectfully point out, that none of US are who we say we are. hmm

You are not speaking for all GN Members/posters, many of us myself included have met in real life, and made friendships which exist outside of this forum.

I do not think that is what Maremia is saying and I agree with her.

I thought Maremia was just saying that we all post under names that we would not be known as in real life??? Or most of use, anyway.

ferry23 Tue 06-Jan-26 13:38:16

I wish there were sanctions for those who identify as "good drivers".

Then there might be a lot less accidents.

Mollygo Tue 06-Jan-26 12:40:04

Thats OK M0nica and Maremia.
A lot of people agree with the right to deceive if it suits their purpose.
It’s wrong if it is being used for fraudulent purposes:
fraudulent
unjustifiably claiming or being credited with particular accomplishments or qualities

It’s doubly wrong if it hurts someone or has the potential to hurt someone.
But he probably thought dressing up as and acting in the way he thought his fantasy would do wouldn’t hurt any one.
There’s an increasing number of men think like that.

M0nica Tue 06-Jan-26 12:11:34

GrannyGravy13

Maremia

Sorry GNs but just have to respectfully point out, that none of US are who we say we are. hmm

You are not speaking for all GN Members/posters, many of us myself included have met in real life, and made friendships which exist outside of this forum.

I do not think that is what Maremia is saying and I agree with her.

Allsorts Tue 06-Jan-26 10:53:21

Of course its wrong its deception.

RosiesMawagain Tue 06-Jan-26 10:51:18

Maremia

Sorry GNs but just have to respectfully point out, that none of US are who we say we are. hmm

Speak for yourself- I am never less than honest and the lovely Grans I have met likewise.

GrannyGravy13 Tue 06-Jan-26 10:42:01

Maremia

Sorry GNs but just have to respectfully point out, that none of US are who we say we are. hmm

You are not speaking for all GN Members/posters, many of us myself included have met in real life, and made friendships which exist outside of this forum.

Allira Tue 06-Jan-26 10:29:56

Maremia

Sorry GNs but just have to respectfully point out, that none of US are who we say we are. hmm

But we're not disrespecting Forces veterans, breaking the law and self-aggrandising in public (is that a word?).

Mollygo Tue 06-Jan-26 10:24:58

Maremia

Sorry GNs but just have to respectfully point out, that none of US are who we say we are. hmm

🤣🤣🤣
In the words of a well known poster,
Evidence?

eazybee Tue 06-Jan-26 08:38:49

There was a child at the local comprehensive a few years ago who identified as a cat, insisted on curling up on the floor or chair, miaowed in response to questions and was tolerated for some time.
I didn't believe it until I was told by a pupil in her class, a neighbour, who who clearly found her an attention-seeker, a pest and time-waster.
I believe her parents removed her and home-educated her.