Is there a solution to this growing problem?

I also think some television programmes can influence people. In some dramas and soaps there is often a lot
of aggressive violence , verbal and physical and seen over and over it has an affect . I was with a family member who regularly watches a soap called Eastenders and in one part a family together in a hospital room , teenager in the bed after being attacked , mother verbally abusive to the "surgeon " when he said they needed to operate asap . Yes all acted but showing it normal to be rude and disrespectful towards emergency workers . This is seen to be normal and acceptable. I think it's an awful tv show and those brought up with this stuff on nightly will act as if. There is far to much of this shown on TV. Just my opinion.

There does seem to be a rise though it has always existed perhaps not to the same level. I dealt with the public and their families and had several threats made to me. The worst was 4 male family members of a person I was dealing with. I had to give a clear legal picture of the situation regarding their parent and they did not like what I was saying. All four sitting in the living room I was told if I did not change the information they would have no problem setting my car on fire, they'd find where I lived and it could be my home too and they'd be able to do it without being caught. I told my manager but as there were no other witnesses to the threats nothing could be done. Case passed to two other workers and the situation re the parent wasn't changed. Worst in 25 years. Nowadays it's up front physical violence workers are subjected to.

Abuse of NHS workers has been going on for a long time. Seven or eight years ago my husband was attended by an ambulance crew which included a young female paramedic. She was a lovely girl, very attractive with long blonde hair. She was very good at cheering us up when things were looking bad. She told us that she had been punched by one man and another man had grabbed her by her hair and dragged her downstairs! Why would anyone do that?

Looking back to my school days when I misbehaved and got punished at school the very last person I was going to tell was my parents.
I would have got punished again.

The rules were strict it was easy to transgress , you learned to obey the rules quickly. There was a “conduct mark” system of merits and demerits, get to -8 in a week and it was the headmasters office

I have noticed that people in public seem not to be aware of those around them, stopping without looking, pushing past with no apology - I blame being home during COVID and WFH, shopping delivered, so no need to show awareness or tolerance or being part of a community.

However, it works both ways - my experience of A&E was that after a 5 hour wait, after a head injury, despite a priority category, my DH asked how long and got a stare and a shrug; when asked for a warmer place to sit (we were in an unlit draughty corridor) we were told in an aggressive tone that we should not think we were more important than others.

Education of children, by parents, to learn manners and respectful behaviour.

In answer to the OP's question; is for the authorities to do something about it. When I worked in the NHS we had posters all over the place saying that abuse and violence towards staff would not be tolerated. Despite those nobody was ever taken to court or punished in any way. Start clamping down hard on those who think it acceptable to abuse people who are doing their best to help them.

There is a world of difference between "unreasonable and temporary rules" on the one hand and whether someone has good manners and consideration on the other hand. Speaking as someone who would have taught both aspects to any children I'd ever had - ie 1. good manners and consideration and also 2. how to tell if someone is genuinely being unreasonable/bossy/etc on the other hand.

Mollygo

We put up a zero tolerance for bad behaviour, abuse or rudeness sign in the school foyer.
Some parents were astonished that we thought it necessary, others ignored it.
Parents storming in to know why their child had been reprimanded!
Parents shouting at the teacher, refusing to believe that their child had been violent even while said child is punching them or hitting them with a school bag.
The list is increasing.

And we wonder why school leavers can’t accept the discipline of work

We put up a zero tolerance for bad behaviour, abuse or rudeness sign in the school foyer.
Some parents were astonished that we thought it necessary, others ignored it.
Parents storming in to know why their child had been reprimanded!
Parents shouting at the teacher, refusing to believe that their child had been violent even while said child is punching them or hitting them with a school bag.
The list is increasing.

As someone who once was a teacher I was mortified to see the changes coming in when I retired, my SiL who teaches tells me how powerless teachers are to deal with unruly pupils who proudly announce they know their rights. Am no fan of corporal punishment in schools but certainly a teacher should have the ability to discipline a child, though who can discipline some of the parents who march into school swearing at staff for putting their little darling in detention is very much another matter.

The key word is “ Entitlement”
People know their rights without their responsibilities. It Happened a lot in the latter years of my teaching career!

Homestead62

I noticed the difference in people after the Pandemic. People are definitely more aggressive and common courtesy, pleasantries are out the window. Entitlement abounds. Catching the bus is now like a rugby scrum as nobody queues, they are all desperate to get in front. The Pandemic changed us all and with some folks, not for the better. I worked in catering, glad I was able to retire as I hear it's hell on earth now to work in, probably the same with any public facing job. Life just isn't the same.

I certainly noticed a difference after Lockdown and have had other people comment to me on that as well. I don't know about the virus itself - but those Lockdown restrictions certainly meant a lot of us had to "hold onto our tempers" when we came across them and if a jobsworth started playing up with a "rules for rules sake" = they'd just got a problematic situation on their hands which they had just created.

Fortunately - in the part of the country I'm in = most people took a reasonable attitude and, by and large, as one went about one's business there would be pretty reasonable attitudes. Cue for one of the largest parties I went to was during Lockdown and a couple of police walked up to the group I was in there and said in calm tone of voice "You're a group of friends together are you?". The reply was a polite "Yes officer" and off they walked. Just as well he didn't ask me anyone's name when he said that to me - as I only knew one or two names....

So most of the time there wasnt an issue.

It was after it that the issues came up in the main - ie some people (including me) were thrown out of more conventional social groups (I lost a bookclub and someone else told me her husband had lost a martial arts club - so I told everyone the name of the group that threw me out ...though I know there were some people that kept quiet about groups that had thrown them out).

So I think a lot of "attitudes" have been caused by "Lockdown attitudes" putting peoples backs up.

Out today figures that state homicides in London are down 60% since 2003. Knife crime is down 7%.

This is only London of course, elsewhere in the country incidences of violence are rampant if these posts are anything to go by...

Rudeness towards those in the public sector tends to become worst when people have been living under difficult conditions too long. These days a lot of individuals and families are doing just that.

This is meant as an explanation, not an excuse.

Since the 1970s expressions have been tolerated and used in public in all European languages that frankly most of our generation of women , at least ,had never heard anyone use.

So now ,a lot of people use expressions as just that, that others find indecent and abusive.

And then there is what I choose to call "the cult of ME"

In my lifetime (1951 onwards) the emphasis has changed from people of all ages being expected to show consideration to others, do their jobs properly and not complain, to the individual's right to "realise their potential".

Taken at face value ,this is not such a bad thing, but unfortunately the expression is usually interpretated to mean "I have the right to do as I want."

No society can survive if it is comprised of a collection of individuals all shouting ME, ME, ME all the time. Society consists of individuals working together for the common good.

Bottom line, I guess, is to stop, take a deep breath, then respond.

The poster who stated listening is so on the ball, working in a job centre was far from easy, however I was in a minority of staff who actually bothered to listen to their claimants. Active listening appears to be a forgotten art.

Grans on here, as in other threads, have raised excellent points.

Whilst I have absolutely no violent intentions, I cannot ignore Monica's comment. I have almost no trust and very little respect for our Government.

the trouble is there is no respect for the law anymore, criminals have learnt they can be naughty and get away with it, there are no repercussions, locally we have shop lifters stealing from Tesco express on a daily basis, because even when staff ring the police they never bother to show up, staff are told not to put themselves at risk, rightly so, which leads to them blatantly walking in every day helping themselves and walking out. Even when a crime is reported nothing happens, I was on our local PRIDE march in the summer, and a Turkish barber shop owner was standing on his step shouting homophobic insults and SPITTING into the crowd, witnessed by 100's of people, reported to police, got a crime number , made a statement, they were arrested , front page local paper news, but six months later, no prosecution or further action,police said not enough evidence!?! It is like dealing with a naughty child , if they learn they can get away with stuff, they do it again and again and it escalates into total social breakdown of lawlessness.

Labradora, please don’t assume that it wouldn’t be much the same here. A couple of years ago I was in hospital for 3 weeks, with pneumonia, followed immediately by pleurisy, and not once did I see any instance of a patient abusing any member of staff.

Lahlah65

Cossy - your family sounds lovely and it must be wonderful to see them across that spread of ages. Children learn by example, don’t they? If they hear their parents talking to other people with respect, they learn how to do that.

We also need to learn to stand up for ourselves though, and I think that a lot of people struggle to be assertive without being aggressive. But you get much better outcomes if you treat other people well, learn to complain in the right way and stand up for yourself firmly but politely. I don’t think it’s generational or either - I encounter plenty of unpleasant/selfish behaviour from people the same age as me.

I do also think that we don’t know what’s going on in other people’s lives. I went through a really stressful period in my late 40’s and I suddenly realised that I had started to shout at people when things went wrong. My base level of stress was so high that I was not coping when my train got cancelled etc. I found myself shouting at someone down the phone in the street one day, and was thoroughly ashamed of my behaviour. I was really aware at that time of the positive benefit of random acts of kindness. I found myself in tears in the car one day because someone gave me their ticket with an hour left on it.

I don’t think social media helps - a lot of people seem to be forgetting how to filter their behaviour.

Perhaps we can do our bit by being kinder, smiling at people etc. Even if only one person feels a bit better and less grumpy as a result, perhaps we can push back against this trend?

Thank you and yes, life is tough at times for us all. As a general rule of thumb I always try and remain calm and polite, but this can go to complete pot when I am stressed or it comes to things I feel really passionately about

Witzend

Only 2 days ago dh and I were on a bus where a young man who was refusing to pay, had been told by the driver to get off the bus. He stood right by the driver’s area, very loudly abusing him, while the driver maintained that he wasn’t moving until the bloke either paid or got off, and if he didn’t very soon, he’d be calling the police.
He did eventually take himself off.

Good for the bus driver.

Of course, it will be pointed out that you never know if the offender is carrying a knife…..

But why should these idiots get away with blatantly refusing to pay their due?

Declining public behaviour in the health service is not that recent.
About 8 years ago I attended casualty with a broken wrist.
Staff had to "pull" the arm to get the wrist bones straight . .Anaesthetised and a little giddy on gas and air and relief that it was over and had passed without agony ( I've seen Casualty!!) I thanked the doctor and nurse profusely for helping me/doing their job. Doctor expressed how nice it was to be dealing with someone who didn't shout at them.
I attended the OH here in France in hospital for about 10 days consecutively. Fair enough he was on a surgical ward and not in A and E but neither on the ward, nor in the reception nor anywhere else did I see one instance of abuse of the staff.

Magenta I salute you for challenging the the boor who was being so rude to the bus driver.
I have made a mental resolution to follow your example if I find myself in a similar situation.

A kinder and more egalitarian world would help

I have to agree with Oreo on this one.
Not making an excuse, just repeating a reason, that the aggression could be caused by MH issues going untreated.
Also agree with the Poster who pointed out the societal changes since Covid.