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Has becoming older changed you?

(44 Posts)
Eloethan Mon 22-Dec-14 00:53:38

I don't mean, of course, how you look or things like mobility.

I mean - do you react differently now to some things than you would have done when you were younger?

Other than my own children, I was never particularly interested in toddlers or young children. Now, I find them so adorable, funny and interesting.

Even with my own children, I found it difficult to play with them, whereas now I enjoy playing with my grandchildren. It makes me feel sad to think of what we both missed out on.

Liz46 Mon 22-Dec-14 05:05:08

Don't beat yourself up Eloethan. As parents we had all the responsibilities and now we have time to play with the children. I think my daughter is a better parent than I was but I can't have done too badly as I have two lovely daughters. In my defence, her husband is much more supportive than my unfaithful pratt of a first husband.

absent Mon 22-Dec-14 05:28:36

I am both more tolerant and less tolerant. Quite a lot of things that would have irritated me when I was younger I ignore now. Quite a lot of things that I never encountered when I was younger now irritate me. I also try hard to use the experience of age to assess, analyse and solve problems and dilemmas. It would be a joy – except I shall never know – if after I have fallen off my bucket, someone says "She was a wise woman".

On a more personal note re the OP. I was never interested in babies and definitely not someone who cooed although I liked children and got on with them very well. I adored baby absentdaughter (and still do) and actually like to cuddle babies in general, not just my own grandchildren – although they, of course, are the best in the whole world. smile

seasider Mon 22-Dec-14 07:11:50

I am more laid back about some things but I also stand my corner and challenge things I am not happy about. I am much more confident when meeting people and can even get up speak in front of a group of people which I would have hated when I was younger.

Nelliemoser Mon 22-Dec-14 07:20:49

I am far more confident than I used to be. I am not sure I am more laid back, accumulated stress seem to have kicked in of late.

GillT57 Mon 22-Dec-14 07:36:06

I am angrier than I used to be, always seem to be raging at some unfairness or another. Not in a small scale domestic basis, but in a politics basis, everything seems so bloody rotten and corrupt and it makes me furious. I do worry about my blood pressure sometimes. I am a shouter at the TV, oh dear.

Brendawymms Mon 22-Dec-14 08:02:24

I have to agree with all the previous posters. I had a very stressful job that I coped with well but find that I cope a lot less well and become more stressed a lot sooner.

Anya Mon 22-Dec-14 08:04:07

It's not getting older per se that's changed me, it the events, some very tragic, along the way that I've had to deal with tchsad

Grannyknot Mon 22-Dec-14 08:24:34

Yes it has. I am more confident, more at peace, less concerned, (and as laid back as ever).

And less tired, now that I've given up full time work! So I moan less too tchgrin

hildajenniJ Mon 22-Dec-14 08:32:46

I am much more ready to speak my mind now. I used to be so shy and retiring.
I don't know if I have grown in confidence or that I just don't care what people think anymore.
I retired from Mental Health Nursing for similar reasons as Brenda gives in her post, the stress was just too great to cope with anymore.
I am much happier in my part time cleaners job.

Nelliemoser Mon 22-Dec-14 08:40:34

Brendaw I can see exactly how how one can manage to deal with a stressful job while you are doing it, but once you stop just running on adrenaline, you just feel totally exhausted.

Then when more stress presents itself our coping mechanisms are spent.

Been there done that! Mine went after events in 2010.
Be kind to yourself. flowers

Teetime Mon 22-Dec-14 08:53:59

Brenda I'm the same but when you are paid to do something and your living and career depends on it you have to cope. I had to cope with some steaming great idiots (aka non clinical Directors) who I'd set the dogs on now! grin

loopylou Mon 22-Dec-14 09:24:01

Brenda Teetime and Hilda I totally agree! Having left an extremely stressful job working 50-60 hr weeks, I reached burnout and had no choice although am mani breadwinner..... It's taken 4 months to regain some kind of equilibrium where I can begin to think straight, the first 2 months of which I was like a whirling dervish unable to switch off. My coping mechanisms are barely functioning but at least I've begun to make plans for the future by enrolling on a Return to Nursing course ( will be stressful but hopefully in a different way to my ex- job).
I had, I suppose, thought myself sort of indispensable .....and learnt the hard way!
At least I now say 'No' if really don't want to do something tchsmile and am kinder to 'me'!

Eloethan Mon 22-Dec-14 10:31:49

I can relate to GillT57 's point. I shout at the telly too.

I also get upset much more easily and am on the verge of tears quite often - a little thing that is not intrinsically sad can set me off.

Lona Mon 22-Dec-14 10:43:47

Becoming older has taught me to think before I speak and not to be so bossy. Also, to consider the feelings of others much more and to be kinder.

By the time I pop my clogs, I could be almost perfect! tchwink

appygran Mon 22-Dec-14 11:08:24

grannyknot sums it up for me 'more at peace with myself'.

I suppose it is about growing into my own skin and being myself and letting go.

I no longer feel the need to be responsible for everything and everyone. Other people, even close family are quite capable or looking after themselves and making their own decisions.

I no longer feel the need to live up to other peoples expectations of how a daughter, wife, mother, friend or employee should be. I can just be me.

Being at peace with myself is not just about quiteness, I also get angry at injustice and prejudice and all the awful things that are happening in the world, and will speak my mind without worrying about what others might think.

Overall I like myself more.

Nonu Mon 22-Dec-14 13:47:57

DH has a lovely saying AGEING CAN BE ENGAGING, I agree with him!Mind you that is nothing new, I agree with 95% of what he says !

tchsmile

FlicketyB Mon 22-Dec-14 18:38:52

Surely all experience is gained with age whether you are 7, 27 or 77.

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 22-Dec-14 18:56:18

I'm not sure I've changed much emotionally. I still enjoy the same things, Appreciate the same things, love the same things. It's just that the ageing sometimes makes it a bit harder to do things.

I've found new things to enjoy. So that makes me very lucky.

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 22-Dec-14 18:58:00

Nonu, do tell us about the remaining 5%. tchsmile

janerowena Mon 22-Dec-14 21:51:03

I am far more laid back and make fewer snap judgements about people. I have seen how awful life can be, how a family can lose everything overnight, how a person can be dealt a dreadful hand and become embittered, how others can be drastically changed by their circumstances. How some people can become better people after living through a disaster, how others just fade away. Watching people over the years has made me more interested in those who have had a tough time than in those who have had an easy life. I suppose I am far more interested in people generally.

but NOT toddlers. I loved toddlers when I had mine, but now I don't have the patience, apart from with my own DGCs. They whine, grizzle and have permanently runny noses. And often need accompanying to the loo. Me in 30 years' time, basically.

glammanana Tue 23-Dec-14 09:10:36

I've found that I am now much more tolerant in every way since I gave up working full time,I was never stressed as such just tired of trying to fit everything into a working week combined with motorway driving to my workplace.Now I work when I want and don't feel obliged to take booking if I don't want too.
Children I find more interesting as they get older and I adore my now grownup DGCs,it's so rewarding to see how they have turned out as young people.
I never get stressed and if I don't like the way a conversation is going I think nothing of walking away I keep my own council very well now where as before I felt that I had to be a people pleaser for some reason unknown to me.

ffinnochio Tue 23-Dec-14 11:10:55

I've been changing ever since I was born. It's the way of things. I'll go on changing until I die.

KatyK Tue 23-Dec-14 15:33:47

I think I am more sympathetic and understanding of other people's problems than I used to be. Life has wiped the floor with me in many ways since childhood (not looking for sympathy, just saying). Unfortunately I have also become a bit bitter (I am working on it!). I, like jane says above, find myself more interested in people who have had a tough time than those who appear to 'sail' through life. I suppose I find them kindred spirits.

Nonu Tue 23-Dec-14 16:25:33

Jingle18.58 , 22/12.

Will have go on the back burner till we are safe and sound into the New Year, Turkeys to cook , pressies to unwrap, Champagne to drink don"tcha know !!!!!!!!!!

tchsmile