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granparents and parents 'stuff' siting in boxes

(84 Posts)
litlemisssunshine Tue 23-Jan-18 14:56:53

clearing out for downsizing house move. Boxes and boxes of our parents' and grandparents' old old 'stuff' aside from the emotional 'let go' what on earth do we do with it all? theres the obvious route of charity shops, or sell it, but its such a huge job. what do people do with fondly remembered old English tea sets? have given a lot away to local cafes but still got 3 of them sitting here. also we have old silver some EPNS and some hallmarked, do we sell it...stick it back in the box for our own children to sort through when we are gone !?? HELP!!!!

Jalima1108 Thu 25-Jan-18 19:45:51

As I was sorting out today I wondered why I was worrying so much about my DMIL's stuff - there are one or two things I would like to keep for sentimental reasons but really I should let DH make the decisions.

I never thought of auction.

lemongrove Thu 25-Jan-18 22:52:26

I don’t have anything from my parents, ( not a single thing) which is a shame as I would have liked a memento, but I have a few photo’s of them, which I will pass on to the AC in due course.
However, to the OP, I would say keep whatever you like, ask your AC if they would like something, and then if anything is valuable sell it, if not to a charity shop.
Only hold on to something if you really want it.

Witzend Fri 26-Jan-18 08:14:20

We had a big clear out while Dh was re insulating the loft - everything had to come out and we took the opportunity to take a lot of stuff to various charity shops. I later heard from Oxfam that our donations had raised over £200 - and Oxfam was just one. I still don't know what can have raised that much - there were a couple of Wedgewood vases so maybe it was those, but I didn't like them anyway.

The older I get, the less I want 'stuff' - I'm all too aware of what a job it'll be for dds to get rid of it all one day.

Dh couldn't bring himself to get rid of a lot of his parents' stuff after the last one died - stacks of it went into storage and he only chucked it several years later.
OTOH we had to clear my mother's house while she was still alive - house had to be sold for care hime fees - and I think it's worse doing it like that - you feel as if you're throwing the person's life away. We did find Freecycle very good - had an open afternoon, and it was amazing what people came and took away - even various bits of crockery/kitchen equipment which I'd have hesitated to take to charity shops on account of being a bit too old or battered.

Menopaws Fri 26-Jan-18 18:24:58

Can I ask why you don't have anything Lemon? Don't answer if rather not just asking

lemongrove Fri 26-Jan-18 21:05:28

That’s ok Meno the explanation is that my Mother died not all that long after I got married and my Step-Father simply sold up and moved on ( to I knew not where!) I lived hundreds of miles away in any case.They didn’t have a great deal, so there wouldn't have been much I dare say, but I could have chosen a few books or an ornament. I always got on well with him, but he was a bit odd.
My Father died with debts and left nothing at all.

Synonymous Sat 27-Jan-18 00:06:29

When we massively downsized to our current home three years ago I gave so much away and am pleased to say that many people benefited. We also donated stuff to charities and enabled them to claim tax back on what they raised from our items and were amazed and very pleased for them at their grand totals which they wrote and informed us about. Our new home was an executors sale and I told DH to look at the place as a terrible warning as it was stuffed to the gunwhales and took the poor family weeks to empty it. They tried to sell us much of the contents but there was nothing that we wanted, particularly at the price they were asking, so they sent it to salerooms where apparently the items didn't raise very much at all once the commissions were deducted. They finally left white goods and odd stuff they didn't know what to do with and we found homes for much of it through charities and tipped the rest.
DH brought the entire contents of his shed and garage with us and has not looked at it since so I am going through it with one of his friends under the guise of organising it for him for when he gets better. Thankfully our friend is pretty ruthless and a good collaborator! We had a roof box when we moved to our last house over 30 years ago and DH has stubbornly held on to it as "it is too good to bin" and I have got him to find the keys for it so that our friend can pass it on to one of his friends. DH is quite happy about that but does not know that the friend actually works in the local tip and what he does with it is his business! I feel dreadful about my scheming but it is such a huge item which we have had to work round for donkeys year's. hmm I hope he never finds out where it is/has gone as I will never hear the end of it. DH already bemoans the stuff that I got rid of with the help of DD and DDIL when we moved and he also retrieved loads of things which gradually reappeared much to our annoyance. Anyway he does not realise that I am still binning and I am not telling him either.
As others have said the biggest problem is the old paperwork and generations of photos. I do need DH to work with me on those because if I tackle that lot on my own there could be a murder - mine! shock

Yorkshiregel Fri 09-Mar-18 14:26:08

We were lucky in a way because we were in married quarters when we first got married. We got rid of stuff every time we moved house....15 times in all. We have now been in our house for over 20 years so have accumulated more stuff. Also 3 children have left home, leaving their 'stuff' behind. We had it in the loft for a while, then we gave them an ultimatum...move by (date) or it will be given away....it has gone. Unfortunately now they have children of their own people started leaving toys here for them to play with! We have enough stuff of our own and I have been moving books to charity shops for a while now once they are read....I have loads of books. I also gave my drawing and painting books to schools who were very grateful for them. OH gave away his sheet music to some boy who is studying to play the organ. However he still clings to stuff given to him when parents died. My problem is that I do not like throwing away things that are still in good condition...ie bed covers, gadgets, shoes I will never wear again, and I still have 3 times Mother of the Groom outfits hanging in the wardrobe that have only been worn once. Must get a grip!

Yorkshiregel Fri 09-Mar-18 14:30:09

Talking about photo albums I have lots of them too. Some for our children and their children, some of other relatives children. Some of holidays. I have told my children they will have the ones of their children when we die. What they do with them is up to them. I cannot part with them just now.