"My lords, ladies and gentlemen, officers and their ladies, NCOs and their wives, other ranks and their women, please take your seats.
Transwomen, transmen, bisexuals, gender neutrals, binary, non-binary, celibates, please be seated.
Swingers, doggers, sex workers, call-girls, call-boys, call-people, courtesans, prostitutes, part-time prozzies, cheap whores, enthusiastic amateurs, siddown.
Under-age juveniles, over-age geriatrics, post-menopausal old biddies, pre-pubertal Lolitas, frigid virg - . . . excuse me a moment, I see the stage manager beckoning me urgently . . . Ah! he says for Christ's sake SIT DOWN ALL OF YOU or we'll be here all night!"