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Public cleavages

(171 Posts)
Baggs Wed 05-Aug-20 11:32:28

Is it polite to have your cleavage on display at a funeral?

Oopsminty Wed 05-Aug-20 12:56:41

I'd love to have had the chance to show my cleavage. But probably not at a funeral.

However I've never managed one despite years of trying with push up bras and the like

Flat as a pancake

Marydoll Wed 05-Aug-20 13:10:43

Big Boobs are a curse, when you are only 5ft! Take it from one who knows. grin

PinkCakes Wed 05-Aug-20 13:33:41

Like a couple of others on here, I'm short (5ft 1)with a large bosom (far too big, I hate it)and try to keep it under control grin. I used to show a little bit of cleavage when I was younger, but never at a funeral!

maddyone Wed 05-Aug-20 13:43:04

I always wear black for a funeral, I think it’s respectful. And I don’t show cleavage.
My husband says when he dies he wants everyone to wear bright colours to his funeral. I really don’t think I could do that to be honest. It feels wrong.

GagaJo Wed 05-Aug-20 13:46:05

I'm taller. I mostly liked my big boobs although I wasn't always happy with them. Big boobs don't stay perky indefinitely and nice bras cost a fortune. But then I got breast cancer. Double mastectomy and reconstruction. They're smaller and perky now. Takes a LOT to get clevage.

Baggs Wed 05-Aug-20 15:04:59

I wondered if people would ask why I'm asking. I saw a picture of people I at first assumed were at the funeral of the police officer who was dragged to his death recently. Later I realised it was, possibly, outside a court where the people who caused his death were, as I understand it, given sentences for manslaughter rather than murder. Family and friends of the dead man were gathered round and two of the women, though not his widow (if it were she), were displaying cleavages and acres of upper chest. I thought that inappropriate. Somehow it seems to lack the gravitas that, I felt, the situation deserved.

I've never had a cleavage except when pregnant and even then it wasn't put on show — just not my style.

Furret Wed 05-Aug-20 15:43:59

maddyone

I always wear black for a funeral, I think it’s respectful. And I don’t show cleavage.
My husband says when he dies he wants everyone to wear bright colours to his funeral. I really don’t think I could do that to be honest. It feels wrong.

I’d like people to turn up to my funeral in jeans and a t-shirt (jumper if cold). No cleavages though.

Nortsat Wed 05-Aug-20 15:49:58

Personally, I don’t like to see a lot of cleavage on show, including my own and particularly on mature women.

I think it’s important to be business like and dress reasonably modestly at work, too. Sometimes women television presenters seem immodestly dressed, for the nature of the work they do.

Until recently, one of the managers in my team was a woman in her mid 50’s and she wore very tight clothes and often very revealing tops. I don’t think she realised the impression she created. As her line manager I tried several times to tell her, subtly, that her clothes were sometimes inappropriate. She never got the message. My failure ...

Ramblingrose22 Wed 05-Aug-20 15:51:21

I'm unluckily like Baggs and others who have posted here who are in the non-existent cleavage club.

My mother was convinced that if I didn't wear padding I'd never find a husband. Doesn't say much for men, does it?!

I see that many younger women often display their cleavage in public. I'd love to know why others think older women also do so?

AGAA4 Wed 05-Aug-20 16:00:16

I don't like to see large amounts of cleavage anywhere but definitely not at a funeral.

Some men would disagree.

Galaxy Wed 05-Aug-20 16:06:27

So it wasnt at a funeral at all then.

Moonlight113 Wed 05-Aug-20 16:36:05

Oh God. I thought you meant the corpse! I was wondering how........

lemongrove Wed 05-Aug-20 16:55:18

This has given us food for thought baggs .....as to our own funerals and what we may like to stipulate in advance about sartorial matters.?
After a few seconds deep thinking.... I would like all to wear inky black smart modest clothing, and for the women, hats with veils.A funeral carriage pulled by four jet black horses with black plumes fitted to their heads and four suitably attired undertakers, all tall and all men ( the last funeral I attended was led by two short overweight women and one had pierced eyebrows)? it lost all gravitas before it even started.
Flowers: must be pink roses with white dahlias only.
Music: Mahler ( anything) no hymns.
Cremation only....and I would enjoy the thought of my ashes being spread around the village afterwards at midnight, over walls and low fences, to nurture their flowers.
I do hope, after all this planning, I won’t die in a freak yachting accident and be lost at sea ( be just my luck.)

BlueBelle Wed 05-Aug-20 16:59:31

I have asked for NO black lots of bright colours at my funeral hate the dreary black it’s not a colour anyway but not expecting lots of cleavage I still have a decent one (Cleavage I mean) but wouldn’t expect to get it out for a funeral It can stay under covers
I m guessing the people Baggs saw were young, they do sometimes seem to lack a sense of where they are not all of course

Lucca Wed 05-Aug-20 17:04:59

lemongrove

This has given us food for thought baggs .....as to our own funerals and what we may like to stipulate in advance about sartorial matters.?
After a few seconds deep thinking.... I would like all to wear inky black smart modest clothing, and for the women, hats with veils.A funeral carriage pulled by four jet black horses with black plumes fitted to their heads and four suitably attired undertakers, all tall and all men ( the last funeral I attended was led by two short overweight women and one had pierced eyebrows)? it lost all gravitas before it even started.
Flowers: must be pink roses with white dahlias only.
Music: Mahler ( anything) no hymns.
Cremation only....and I would enjoy the thought of my ashes being spread around the village afterwards at midnight, over walls and low fences, to nurture their flowers.
I do hope, after all this planning, I won’t die in a freak yachting accident and be lost at sea ( be just my luck.)

I would ‘nt worry, you’ll no doubt fall off your stilettos on your way to the argy bargy. (Predictive text says army barge....)

Serendipity22 Wed 05-Aug-20 17:10:28

I would say a definite "no", but it all depends on the said persons age.

Some of the younger generation dont seem to know the word appropriate, and I suppose excuses can be made ! But if the lady in question was of an age of maturity and fully understanding the word appropriate then I would say it was totally and utterly disrespectful but I suppose there is another view to take, that view is at least the person in question was THERE

Spangler Wed 05-Aug-20 17:31:41

maddyone

I always wear black for a funeral, I think it’s respectful. And I don’t show cleavage.
My husband says when he dies he wants everyone to wear bright colours to his funeral. I really don’t think I could do that to be honest. It feels wrong.

There was a young fellow that we knew, who passed away aged just 45. He left a wife and three daughters. The family requested a Summery dress code. The chap was a self employed gardener, and his family wanted to celebrate his life rather than mourn his death. Being a gardener and outside type, they felt that, because it was Summertime, the fellow would appreciate that.

It did feel strange, but as everyone embraced the request, it didn't feel disrespectful.

From a male perspective, a display of cleavage is like a bloody magnet, you try and try to ignore the sight yet it just keeps creeping back into your field of vision. So I would strongly recommend, cover up.

Unless of course you know of a sugar Daddy that will be at the funeral.

lemongrove Wed 05-Aug-20 17:48:06

That’s another good ‘way to go’ Lucca falling over in my stilettos on the way to the Argy ( although I generally fall over on my way back from the Argy.?

Witzend Wed 05-Aug-20 18:08:17

Personally I think cleavage beyond a suspicion looks all wrong at a funeral. I wouldn’t have that problem since I’ve never been well endowed or had any cleavage to speak of - a major grievance when I was very young - but after having babies and realising what it must be like to have two massive hot concrete footballs to cope with after the birth - mine were bad enough - I’ve counted my lucky stars ever since.

@Maddyone, my father hated black, and he particularly hated it on my mother. She wore a bright flowery dress he’d always liked to his funeral. None of the family wore black.

He also said he’d come back and haunt anyone who wasted money on flowers for his funeral. So my mother put a small posy from a shop on his coffin - because she wanted him to!
Alas he never did.

Baggs Wed 05-Aug-20 18:30:41

I m guessing the people Baggs saw were young, they do sometimes seem to lack a sense of where they are not all of course

One of them was definitely not young.

Baggs Wed 05-Aug-20 18:32:28

PS Which is not to say her cleavage wouldn't have been appreciated in the right ... um ... circumstances. I think her bosom might well have been called majestic or something....

Baggs Wed 05-Aug-20 18:33:46

The specification for a recent funeral about which I knew was most decidedly "no black".

Kate1949 Wed 05-Aug-20 18:35:04

I wouldn't do it myself. However, with what PC Harper's family were going through, I doubt their clothes were at the forefront of their minds.

Marydoll Wed 05-Aug-20 18:35:37

I noticed that person too Baggs and commented to my husband at the time, how inappropriate it was, considering the circumstances.

LadyGracie Wed 05-Aug-20 19:13:23

I’ve never had a cleavage, more a dual carriageway.