Absence of a thank you for gifts

A text or a phone conversation is perfectly fine. It’s the acknowledgment that it’s been received that counts.

I wouldn't buy gifts for the adult children of friends! They have relatives so may receive enough gifts.
sometimes people can feel obliged to buy gifts to please the friends!...

It is bad manners, but some people are just not bought up to say thank-you, or maybe they just forget to ! My sons used to bribe their sister to write all their thank-you cards out for them ! If I don’t get a simple acknowledgement to a gift I will text “ hope you liked the .... “
or “did you receive the ..... “. I know you shouldn’t have to do this but I just hope it sinks in just a bit that if people care enough to give a gift, the very least you can do is say thank you.

Yes we always had to write thank you letters on Boxing Day.
Always made our children write thank you letters/cards not in Boxing Day mind you. Now grown up and married don’t always remember but not my worry they are adults.

I also think very bad manners, geekesse when my step-daughter had her baby, friends and pen-pals I had sent gifts so I personally don't think odd to send a gift to someone you don't know. You have connection through someone you do know and everyone loves a new baby. But I felt embarrassed my friends had gone to so much trouble with their gifts as hand knitted and SD didn't thank them. To be honest in the end I did a typed thank you note to them making out it was from SD.

MawBe oh yes I remember my mother sitting myself and sisters down after Christmas writing our thank you letters, we did them in rough first and mum checked the spelling and grammar! Those were the days!

I totally agree with many answers, it’s just rude to not text, write or telephone to say thank you. I really do think it’s a generation thing too. I bought a beautiful gift for someone’s new baby a couple of years ago and put it in the post as they do not live close to me. The husband of the person I posted it to on behalf of their son’s new baby did not even acknowledge receipt to his wife & shoved it in a spare bedroom. When gift was presumable handed to new parents I had no acknowledgement from anyone whatsoever in the family. Nothing was mentioned, not a word of thanks. They possibly stuck my gifts on eBay. It is very annoying but sometimes you feel it is all taken for granted.

It puts you in the awkward position of having to ask whether they received it, which is embarrassing for both giver and receiver!

Why not just drop a note saying ‘did you receive my gift?’ It might prompt a response, and if not, don’t buy any more gifts for them.

I don't find it unusual sending a gift to the daughter of a friend inScotland it's what we do send a minding I would expect a thank you in some form Not thanking someone is just rude

It is very rude. I would have sent a hand written note and always had a supply of cards at home. However, I agree that emailing and texting is faster. If they don't have your email address then they should ask and find out. It takes a couple of minutes to send an email or text. Don't send them anything again. Buy yourself something nice instead!

I agree it is hurtful. In our day we made a list of presents and ticked it off when a letter or phone call was done.
I made a beautiful scarf for my BIL's birthday. Never heard a thing. Had to ask my sister if it arrived. It hurts!
I also remember sitting down after Christmas as a child having to write 2 thank you letters a day. They had to be repeated if they were scruffy or there were spelling mistakes. I hated it!

You are not being unreasonable. In my opinion, as someone who grew up in very poor circumstances, I was always very grateful indeed when people showed kindness by giving me gifts for myself or my children. These days I always send thank you notes, however, I’m not too sure that then, I expressed thanks to everyone. Young people today, on the whole, are so used to the easy life, their wants being fulfilled by parents, that they don’t value things the way someone who has been poor does. I’ve given hundreds of pounds in wedding presents to the children of friends because they specified they wanted money rather than traditional wedding presents: NOT ONE HAS THANKED ME.

When my GS was 18 I sent a check and card, i knew he had received it as the cheque was cashed but I did not hear anything from him. I did not have his email address etc, so I sent him an email via my son, I said 'I know you received the cheque and card as the cheque has been cashed and if you can't be bothered to say thank you then I can't be bothered to send you anything, don't say you don't have my address/phone number or email address because your Dad has all of them'. I did not hear anything so since then, he was 18 and is now 29 and married, I have not sent anything, not even a card.

I try very hard to remember that the younger generations don't follow all the rules of etiquette that we were subject to, but apparently I forgive, but don't forget. A dear friend was telling me the other day that it's her son's silver wedding coming up next month, and my first thought was "25 years without a thank you for their gift"!

I am sorry they haven't sent thank you notes - but like others I enjoy giving and don't mind much if I don't get thanks. Of course I like it if I do! And I made my children write thank you letters at birthdays and Christmas. But I think the culture is different for the new generations after us. I don't think I"d enjoy the giving much if it depended on getting thank you's. I would not want a rift with anyone over thank you notes.

I have one niece, and in all her 50 years I have never had a thank you. She has one adult son so is hardly run off her feet. She works in IT so much quick and easy communication is open to her. My sister would be mortified to know because we were both brought up to write thank you letters, and we both passed that on to our daughters.

I've given up hope of ever receiving a thank you, but I will keep sending because she is my only niece (no nephews) and I love her.

I have recently received a 'ticking off' from an old family friend and who sent my son and his partner and large bundle of hand knitted items for the new baby (due in a month). She hasn't received a thank you. I have prompted my son but still he hasn't 'got round to it'. My friend doesn't use email or have a phone so it would mean sending a letter or card, not something this generation seem to do much of nowadays. Apart from the fact that the pregnancy has been fraught with complications, worries about the loss of the baby etc., my son losing his job and his partner's father having Covid, I do feel my friend is being a little insensitive but I am keeping out of it. I have apologised once on his behalf, told her the circumstances and will have to leave it at that. Yet again having to accept that my children are not perfect (ha!)

very strange!
We should have expected gratitude, as I understand you!
not even a single message in response?

Saying Thank You, whatever the circumstances is only polite. Don't give them any more presents, simple!!

So many reasons why things may not be all rosy after the birth of a baby to stop and find time to write thank you cards to anyone. I don't even remember opening presents all I could do was get dressed, breastfeed and keep my baby alive. I'm sorry you feel so furious. This reaction says more about you than the character of the new parents going through this pandemic and the birth of a vulnerable baby.

I agree with you.

Give nothing more to these people.

I was also brought up to thank people and so were my children. I think, these days, a telephone call is sufficient.

I also understand your point of view Tempest because we are in difficult times but it doesn't take long to ring someone and say "thank you".

It is bad manners not to say thank you, but I think these days one does need to accept that handwritten notes are going the way of the dodo.

No excuse not to have sent a text, though, if it's been some time. I was always taught you had 6 weeks, following wedding or baby.

I have many relatives on the other side of the world who would always send a gift for a wedding if we sent invitations. They would send baby gifts if sent a proper birth notice. My mother certainly expected us to write appropriate thank you letters, which was even harder since it had to be in their language, which was very much a second language to me, not my home language.

These days, if my MIL sends something for DS (7), I send a quick text saying it arrived safely, then DS sends an ecard to say thank you. He enjoys selecting nice ecards.

Annoys the H* out of me too. The great-nieces/nephews are all celebrating 18th's at the moment so I send a token money gift with their card. I insisted on a response via the grandparents first time around (it arrived in a very grudging manner) but haven't tried to follow up on the later ones. No response ever received from any of the others. I did, however, get a lovely note from the granddaughter of an old friend whose family we 'adopted' as 'sort-of' extra children. Needless to say (why say it then?) all cards cease after the 18th now except for immediate family and they're not the best at remembering their etiquette either. I always used to ring my mother-in-law immediately on receipt of birthday money for my husband or myself as I was well aware that she would be very displeased if I didn't.
Old school manners obviously no longer hold sway. Just blame it on modern tech. and lifestyle then.
Hmmmm! not convinced.

I would be irritated and it would be the last gift they received from me. However, I have two children who always wrote notes of thanks, and each has two children of their own. One family will always send a thank you note but the other .... and that one is particularly annoying because they are abroad and I want reassurance that the gift has been received. I usually wait a week or two and ask, you’d think they’d get the hint, but no!