bless him!

I used to like Smetna's "battered bride"

My mother-in-law always refers to important people as 'big nobs' and we can't get her to understand that it means something totally different these days.

My mum loved 'Lez Mizerabulls'

Talking to a couple at the theatre who said they were real opera fans " next week we are going to see the Mickadoo "

Love this thread, should be copied to the 'this made me laugh today' one! And here's one that made me go 'aww' out loud on the train this morning - someone tweeted that their 5 year old thinks it's the "powerlympics". How sweet. And indeed it is.

Grannyknot - I love so phisticated. I read a lot as a child (nothing else to do in the 1940's in the back streets of Salford) so I knew many words that I had never heard pronounced. A man friend laughed at me when I told him I had 'sue-coombed' to an infection. At school, I told the English teacher in my first year at grammar school that 'ten thousand thanks' was a hyper - bowl. Actually, although she corrected me she was quite impressed. I was a very geeky kid and had done all the exercises in A Lower English Course by the end of the first week.
My mother always said 'Photo - grapher'. She had a friend who got an enormous letter.

We couldn't rid my mother of the fixed belief that 'hoi poloi' meant posh people, even when I started studying Greek.

Now this is a LOL thread! The mum of one of my boyfriends used to draw herself up, look down her nose and say "Mrs XXX thinks she is so phisticated, when she is not phisticated at all!" That was the same bf who once said to me "We are both condescending adults" ...

greatnan!

Were they well hung, dogsbody?

The old lady who lives next door asked me to help take her decorative plates down from her 'dildo rail' as the room was to be redecorated!

Parotsetamol, Hammerlillies,Tajeties, and feenomeena, things often uttered by an elderly gentleman of my acquaintance .

And don't forget the people who have cardiac hearts and gastric stomachs. Also those who've ' come with their back'
Or my mother who confused eject with ejaculate!

And the number of men who go to be checked for their prostrate to be checked

My dad used to say "I have had a plentiful sufficiency". He also used to say "Eat up, the more you eat the bigger the dividend" - co-op dividend I think,

Is it titbits or tidbits?

I thought a 'superfluity' was the collective name for nuns!

One of my staff once sent a sick note saying she had an 'anal fisher'

I thought it was "an elegant sufficiency without being a vulgar superfluity".
I was once asked to check a child with poor spelling for dyspepsia.

Hunt, I think I like that one better!

My Dad's version was ''an elephant sit on me'' which is actually often what you feel like when you have eaten too much!

My dad's version of that was 'an elegant sufficiency' which makes more sense.

One of DH's great aunts from Yorkshire used to have an "ample sufficiency." Which sort of makes sense, but then again doesn't.

'Elegant sufficiency' was the phrase used by the ladies of Cranford in Mrs. Gaskell's charming novel.