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Pedants' corner


(16 Posts)
absent Sun 03-Feb-13 14:19:38

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions
to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply
alternative meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavoured mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that,
when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men.

jeni Sun 03-Feb-13 14:48:58


HildaW Sun 03-Feb-13 14:51:29


soop Sun 03-Feb-13 15:42:00

Good to have something to smile about. Funny old day on GN. Off for a pedal session on the exercise bike. Shall then read the papers in front of the fire. Mr soop and Rory will join me. Early moon

absent Sun 03-Feb-13 15:57:05

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any
word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition. The winners are:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Bags Sun 03-Feb-13 16:07:07


gracesmum Sun 03-Feb-13 16:14:31

Absolutely wonderful! grin

Butty Sun 03-Feb-13 16:17:02

Groansnetters - Grans who become argumentative on Forums. @runsforcover

Butty Sun 03-Feb-13 16:18:09

Great thread, absent!

Ella46 Sun 03-Feb-13 16:21:35

Absolutely briilliant smile

Ella46 Sun 03-Feb-13 16:21:55


jeni Sun 03-Feb-13 16:46:13

Butty, grin

moomin Sun 03-Feb-13 16:51:08


grannyactivist Sun 03-Feb-13 17:04:32

I shall use these in one of my English Language lessons absent, ta very much. grin

absent Sun 03-Feb-13 20:30:25

These were results for an Ozwords competition where entrants were asked to take an Australian word, alter it by only one letter, and supply a new and witty definition.

billabonk: to make passionate love beside a waterhole

bludgie: a partner who doesn't work but is kept as a pet.

dodgeridoo: a fake indigenous artefact.

fair drinkum: good quality Aussie wine.

flatypus: a cat which has been run over by a vehicle.

shagman: an unemployed male roaming the Australian bush in search of sexual activity.

yabble: the unintelligible language of Australian freshwater crustaceans.

bushwanker: a pretentious drongo who reckons he's above average when it comes to handling himself in the scrub.

shornbag: a particularly attractive naked sheep. [not sure what this word actually is]

technicolour lawn: the front yard after a rave party.

annodomini Sun 03-Feb-13 21:41:30

Sir Les Patterson: technicolour yawn - what gives rise to the technicolour lawn!