English as she is spoke (written) abroad

I have a little book called "Wicked French" which is screamingly funny. It has all the expressions you definitely should not use unless you really want to shock people

I could have understood it, if it had been a notice in the church porch! But I do understand how the misunderstanding occurred.

PS Nice to now I can still raise a smile or laugh on here, seems to have been a bit of a dearth lately

(Tin hat, behind the sofa, using Digby as a sandbag)

Charleygirl how very dare you! I'm a good girl, I am! (To borrow the phrase from Pygmalion)

Errm, I think........ (May have got my plays muddled up)

Sorry ninathenana didn't see your question, he meant a waist bag.

phoenix I nearly fell over laughing- are you changing jobs and moving to Dubai? Does Mr. P know?!

Would it be Miles Kington?

(Should just bloody google it, I suppose)

Did anyone ever have those books, "How to speak Franglais" I think they were written my someone who had a connection to Private Eye, and now perhaps The Oldie?

Things like "Je suis ne pas un to trifler avec, Monsieur"

I dont speak much french , but bought the french lieutenants woman in Franglais, to see how much i understood. Despite only knowing remembering the gist of the story it was relatively easy to understand and it still has the capacity to amuse when i look at it.

phoenix

Not just the foreign language ones maryeliza A long time ago I asked a work colleague why he had put up a nicely printed and laminated notice in reception inviting people to take their clothes off. He looked at me askance.

The notice said "Please bare with us while we make improvements to the reception desk"

I received an email at work asking if we had a whorehouse in Dubai. I can only hope the sender meant "warehouse" if not then we might be diversifying more than I have been told

I think a "fanny pack" is what might call a "bum bag" Nina

We went to bar to have tapas yesterday evening but it was not being served - the cooker - wasn't working as they had been very busy the day before - an antiques fair had been in the town all weekend. We did not know if he meant the cooker or the chef but decided it was the latter!

The accents on the first 'E' are different - pêcheur for fisherman and pécheur for sinner.

I am always amazed that official
Institutions printing notices, brochures etc don't get them checked by a native English speaker first

The French for sinners and fishermen is very similar - on a harbour in St Maries de la Mer in the Camargue it says in the English version - Entry only for sinners

The National Museum of Denmark has kindly labelled all exhibits in Danish and in English.

Unfortunately, whoever translated some of the signs, was not either a native English speaker or a graduate of the University of Copenhagen with a degree in English.

Among other things they managed to mislabel a miniscule bronze axe from the Bronze Age as follows:

“This massive axe of bronze” followed by the date. Recourse to the Danish label showed that they meant “solid”, which is what the Danish word "massiv "means.

Visitors will be surprised to learn that another department of the museum provided “ a guarded cloakroom” They meant “attended”.

Christine did you find out what he actually meant ?

Love that Hipsy!

DD's Polish friend pointed out that toothpaste should be teethpaste. Makes sense as it's used on more than one tooth.

We used to have a restaurant and , as is common in some countries where public loos are few and far between, there was a high demand for use of our 'facilities'.

I remember one lady trying to force the door of the loo whilst my daughter tried to explain that there was 'someone in', only to be met with a blank look. "It's occupied", said DD3 , at last the penny dropped "Ah! It is possessed?!" said the German lady.

We laughed about our ' haunted' loo for some time

After meeting a Croatian workmate as I was walking my lurcher he told everyone at work that he had joined me "dogging"

our french exchange student asked for the pee pee room ,we've had students from all across europe aand beyond as far as New Zealand and most have problems with some English,as I dont really speak ANY other language( although I can read a menu in several) ,I never worry about what they say..at least THEY try .

We had a charming German student staying with us some years ago to improve her English, and the first evening she had a meal with us I asked her whether she wanted any more to eat. "Oh no thank you," she said "I'm completely fed up!" Here starteth the first lesson!