Gender language

Me too, Witzend !

Must say I’m nostalgic for the days when the word ‘gender’ was associated almost exclusively with the French, German and Latin nouns I had to learn.

Chestnut

*Katie 59* I think it's now LGBTQIA. Keep up! Can they think of any more to add I wonder?

“I” intersex having male and female physical characteristics, a very small number

“A” Asexual, not having sexual feelings, this probably covers a large number of both male and female individuals, who may well have had sexual feelings in the past

I don’t want to be picky, Kate59, but straight, gay or bi are sexualities, not lifestyle choices or genders.

Katie 59 I think it's now LGBTQIA. Keep up! Can they think of any more to add I wonder?

Genderqueer.
People who don't ascribe to either gender nor something or other else. (I can't remember)

Gender is either Male or Female except for a tiny number with both charisteristics, Straight, LGBTQ+ are all lifestyle choices not gender

Are “queer” people always homosexual or are they just peculiar to whatever lifestyle they lead.

My next door neighbours have said that they find being addressed as "queer" as very offensive. As they do "gay". They're just 2 men. They don't need any other qualifying descriptions.

Chestnut - my view too.

Originally queer meant 'strange' and I still associate it with that and as a derogatory term for homosexuals, so I'd never use it myself. Enid Blyton uses the word 'queer' in her books meaning strange and I used to read them as a child.

I don't really like 'gay' either as it simply meant happy or jolly which was nice. But I guess it's the best word available. Is there anything wrong with saying homosexual or heterosexual which is the correct term?

My nan used to say she "came over all queer" in the night, so she put her best nighty on, in case she died.

It’s just crossed my mind that I use the word a lot.
I often say there's nought so queer as folk ?

Because that would be thinking that homosexuals all think alike, wouldn't it?

Oh I think its definitely used to cover straight people as well. No I dont think all gay people think alike that's why I didnt use the word all.

Ah, but we shouldn't assume that a substantial number is enough to represent all.

But it isn't a word that is used now purely to define someone who is homosexual. For many people it is a blanket term that covers every sort of gender and sexual identity that is not what might be described as straight i.e heterosexual. Of course some people will not like or want to use it. Does anyone seriously think that all homosexual people think alike? But for a substantial number of people it identifies and unites a whole range of people.

Yes many lesbians and gay men are very uncomfortable with the word queer. Cant believe people arent aware of that.

That doesn't mean that all honosexual people are happy to be called queer, though.

That doesn't mean that people won't change what they wish to refer to themselves as.
I'm reminded of the ian dury song, banned for the way it referred to people with disabilities, then, a few years later, the anthem of the Paralympics.

(It's still not a way I would ever refer to anyone)

Have we stepped back in time? It's over 20 years since the word "queer" was reclaimed. Does no one remember the TV series "Queer as folk"?

I would personally never dream of using "queer" in the sense of "homosexual" but if those who are homosexual want to use the term, then that is up to them. I find it wrong to describe someone's sexual preference as odd or queer just because you happen to have different taste yourself.

"Gay" had, in the 18th century the meaning that used to be the most usual - happy, joyful. However, asking "Are you gay?" or "How long have you been gay?" was a way of asking a woman if she was a prostitute.

I have no idea whether homosexual people were aware of this usage of "gay" when they adopted the word to describe themselves.

I don't particularly care for "straight" used to mean heterosexual either. I feel life would be easier on us all if we could all manage to take a little less interest in other peoples' private lives and when we do need to discuss their sexual preferences stick to terms like homosexual , heterosexual etc.

Thank you LOUISA You are right, some things are still more difficult for gay people, and possibly always will be.

maddyone

MA you’re right, so many terms, so many opportunities to be offended. I think we just have to use the words we’re comfortable with, and our family members, or friends (who are gay) are comfortable with. There are more important things to worry about in the world of gay people.
For example, when we travelled to Florida on holiday some four years ago, with our son, son in law, and grandson (who was then nearly six years old) my husband and I passed through passport control without incident. Not so our son, son in law and grandson. There was huge consternation and questions because two men were travelling with a young child. They had to answer a barrage of questions because the passport control obviously thought that something wrong was going on. Eventually they managed to convince them that our grandson was their legitimate child (they were not allowed to take him out of the country until the adoption was finalised.) It seems in future they may need to travel with the birth certificate and adoption papers. There was no trouble taking him to France or Spain, just America. However my son is fully aware that there are many countries he will never be able to travel to with his partner, mainly Arab states, some Asian states, and even Turkey and Tunisia, which are popular holiday spots. Being gay imposes limits on behaviour and life style. We can pretend it doesn’t till the cows come home, but the reality is that it does.

Sadly you are right here....and far more difficult for gay men to travel with children than gay women....we can only hope things will change I guess ....years ago when I was a Health Visitor....I remember the first gay couple ( men) who adopted a baby.....that baby will be largely grown up now but it was almost unheard of at the time so I remember them well.....although its far more common an occurrence now.... I know there's still many many hoops to jump thru to even get to being considered a suitable adoptive parent as a gay person

MA you’re right, so many terms, so many opportunities to be offended. I think we just have to use the words we’re comfortable with, and our family members, or friends (who are gay) are comfortable with. There are more important things to worry about in the world of gay people.
For example, when we travelled to Florida on holiday some four years ago, with our son, son in law, and grandson (who was then nearly six years old) my husband and I passed through passport control without incident. Not so our son, son in law and grandson. There was huge consternation and questions because two men were travelling with a young child. They had to answer a barrage of questions because the passport control obviously thought that something wrong was going on. Eventually they managed to convince them that our grandson was their legitimate child (they were not allowed to take him out of the country until the adoption was finalised.) It seems in future they may need to travel with the birth certificate and adoption papers. There was no trouble taking him to France or Spain, just America. However my son is fully aware that there are many countries he will never be able to travel to with his partner, mainly Arab states, some Asian states, and even Turkey and Tunisia, which are popular holiday spots. Being gay imposes limits on behaviour and life style. We can pretend it doesn’t till the cows come home, but the reality is that it does.

I didn’t say you wanted to reclaim it, for goodness sake, LOUISA I just answered as you were incredulous that Maddy felt uncomfortable using it Oh blimey wish I hadn’t bothered…. how can I make assumptions about you I don’t have any idea who you are or what you are !

Yes MissA it’s a minefield isn’t it I don’t care who s with who I really don’t just hope everyone’s happy and think I ll not call anyone anything
‘OI YOU’ ???

BlueBelle thank you for your kind and understanding comment.