Mucky Cat!

A new colleague and his wife came to tea. He saw Stephenson (handsome, grey, very clever cat) and immediately identified him as the thief that came in the kitchen window and stole the fish that was waiting to be cooked.

shysal uuurgh I'm presuming you were chilling with scented candles and a glass of wine at the time. Maybe he was just bringing food to your party.

One of my previous cats come in through the bathroom window bearing a turkey carcass, while I was in the bath below! He also hid fillets of raw fish behind the hall table on 2 occasions, assume it had been left somewhere to defrost by a neighbour - never dared to ask them!

I do love cat tales - such beautiful, focused creatures - food, warmth, sleep

Phoenix you see, you've made me laugh again with just the phrase 'an unfortunate incident on the 9.57 from Exeter to Paddington' At some point today I will have to search and find - and "underwear malfunctions"

One of my late moggies, Spider, dragged a long deceased 3-legged rat up the garden and through the cat-flap. He plonked it proudly on the kitchen floor and obviously thought I would see it as a kind gift. I picked it up with the garden spade, carried it down the garden and flung it over the wall and into the field. Didn't make the field but landed on the shed roof. Had to come back in for the steps so I could heft the rat off the roof with the back yard broom and into the field from whence it came.
phoenix, I remember the story of the issue on the train !!

The late Dylan used to make a leaf collection at the bottom of the stairs each night when he was a kitten. This reached its apogee when he managed to carry an entire iceberg lettuce, still in its cellophane wrapping, over a high brick wall and in through the cat flap.

He later graduated to rats and squirrels. When absentdaughter's new boyfriend was sleeping overnight on the sofa and I was still working in the room below, I could hear a strange thrumming sound. I wondered if the boyfriend was meditating – "OM, OM". Then I bent down to the lower drawer of my desk and discovered Fishpaste, still quite a young kitten, cuddling a dead rat and making a noise somewhere between a purr and a growl. I reached down to take the rodent away, whereupon she seized it in her jaws and hurtled upstairs, dragging its body between her legs – it was considerably longer than she was, not counting the tail. Thereupon a kind of Keystone Cops pursuit ensued as I chased up and down three flights of stairs after her and tried to grab the rat without waking the rest of the household, especially the new boyfriend who undoubtedly would have revised his plans about the new romance. I did eventually manage to get the wretched thing and dispose of it in a bin. Fishpaste, who was very proud of herself in spite of the fact that the rat had obviously been killed quickly and cleanly by a much larger cat (Dills), eventually forgave me.

Oh Ariadne wish you had a photo of that!

I had a really, really dim little cat once, called Barkis (he had tried to move in with my friend whose cat was called Peggoty before he chose us). He too never got the hand of hunting, and shortly after our move to quarters in Folkestone came down the long garden path gamely and proudly tugging a very large, very dead seagull.

Another time he arrived with a new loaf of bread, still in plastic wrapper. But the best was a piece of Edam: picture it - held in his mouth, red rind side out, as if he was grinning. Idiot.

Sel & anno , thank you both so much for the compliments, I think perhaps that Deric (yes, that is how it spelt in this case) Longden has written about his cats in a way which is so good that it puts me off trying to do the same! His books are for the adult market, (that sounds a bit like feline porn!) and when Jack was about 12 he loved it when we read them together. The writer of the "mog" books (Judith Kerr) has, I think written the best ever cat books for children, and I would never be able to better her work.

However, I have received several suggestions from other members with regard to my inane ramblings writing, some of which are in the hands of my solicitor! I am led to understand that some underwear malfunction related incidents were well received, and the unfortunate incident on the 9.57 from Exeter to Paddington was also found amusing! Whether there may be a wider audience, and if there was, how I might reach them remains to be seen. (Answers on a post card please)

Sel, many years and some cats ago, I was the servant owner of 2 litter siblings, both male, black and white, 1 short haired and 1 long haired. We moved from the flat in Windsor Castle where we lived into a proper house, and installed a cat flap. One of them got the hang of it quite quickly. The other, despite many sessions of "posting", with ex dh one side of the door and me the other, never really got the hang of it.

Mind you, he never really got the hang of hunting either, and the deep joy and appreciation that I was supposed to show when he brought in one of his brothers catches (that we had already shown due awe and wnder over, before putting it back outside) that was showing obvious signs of rigor mortis, was seemingly sufficient that he never felt the need to do it again!

Rambling again!

phoenix, your cats have such clearly described characters. How about going into print - perhaps a children's story?

phoenix I love the way you write about your cats - it does make me laugh. I have a 'Lily' cat and have just had a cat flap installed in the door from the garage to the house (there's already a nice, personal one on the garage door) So the new catflap was to make her life easier, she never needs to stay in the garage and wait for me to open the door. I have spent all week explaining this to her, pushing her backwards and forwards, luring her with food etc. No point, she totally refuses to use it. Peabrain

If the marks are greasy it might be worth brushing a bit of talc through them. One of mine used to come in with big black smears over her ears - was presumably rubbing them on cars (why???) I think it just used to wear off eventually.

My late ginger cat used to get marks like that from hiding under the car. I think a damp cloth with a little washing-up liquid was the best solution. fortunately the other cat was black.

Oh yes, I can remember Lily, in the days before she decided the world was too big and also populated by cat murderers, would sometimes come in with marks like that, usually from getting underneath a car.

(I'm not suggesting that she was some sort of feminist cat who wished to further a career in motor mechanics, just in case anyone was wondering)

Yes, the marks will eventually come off, and also yes, you could try giving her a bit of a wash and brush up with a mild detergent. With the help of at least one other person and gauntlets, of course.

Happens to Daisy sometimes, number! Try washing up liquid - but she'll get it off eventually!