cats

joycey8, it's absolutely awful when one of our pets becomes ill and either dies, or has to be put to sleep. My own very much loved cat had to be put to sleep just over a year ago, and I was inconsolable. Had your friend felt that you were in agreement for her to take the cat to the vet to be put to sleep? Had she misunderstood you in some way, do you think?

Oh joycey, I do feel for you, it's so sad to have to have a loved pet put to sleep, even though they are suffering.

Did your friend perhaps think she was doing a kind thing by saving you the heartache of taking your cat to the vet's? I do think you should talk to her about this, for both your sakes.

It's a horrible situation for you. I remember being very upset when my husband rang me at work to tell me that the vet had just been and put our very elderly collie to sleep. When I thought about it rationally I realised it would have been unkind to make him wait till I got home in the evening, but I still wished I had been there.
I would try and concentrate on the fact that 18 is a good age, he had obviously had a happy life with a family who loved him and he is now at peace and no longer feeling ill and miserable.

joycey, You say that after much deliberation the decision was made so in your heart you had already said goodbye. Don't put yourself through any more anguish by being too hard on your friend.

I can understand your feeling upset that the decision was taken out of your hands, but perhaps your friend was able to see the situation from arm's length as it were and took the decision out of love for you and for your pet.

Joycie, please talk to your friend regarding her motives. 27 years ago, our youngest cat, aged just 3 years, had been quite poorly for a couple of weeks, it came on suddenly, and was diagnosed with hepatitis. The vet did treat her, but she just seemed to be getting worse. One of our daughters and her fiance said they`d take her back to see the vet whilst we were at work, and we came home to the news that they`d given the vet permission to put her to sleep. We missed her terribly, but knew that they only acted for the best, and that for our Trixie it was the best thing.

We had to have our much loved cat put to sleep 17 years ago and I still think of him and smile at some of the antics he got up to. Did the cat become worse while you were at work and your friend perhaps took the humane decision to let him go? Just like any bereavement you need the support of your family and friends so please don't cut your friend out of your life - perhaps she is grieving too if she knew the cat well

Joycie I agree with Ana perhaps your friend was trying to take on the responsibility onto her shoulders to help you with dealing with your cat. We take these animals into our homes and hearts, enjoy them, love them and they return all that in many ways. In the past 20 years I've had to put 3 dogs to sleep and 2 cats. I was so distraught after my last dog, a beloved black Lab, had to be put to sleep that I have chosen not to have any more. I now just have a 12 year old pussy cat - who I adore - thank heavens she is hale and hearty.
Your cat lived to a grand old age and if he was so ill and frail it was kind to put him gently to sleep. You need to grieve for him , let your friend help you with that.

Oh joycey I do sympathise with you. I love my cats and over the years have had to have some of my beloved cats put to sleep. It's heartbreaking to let them go but I have always known when the time had come for that decision to be taken. Try not to be too harsh on your friend - I'm sure she felt she was doing the best thing for you even though that wasn't the case. I bet her Christmas was as miserable as yours. Your anger is part of the grieving process but don't direct it at your friend - I'm sure you don't really want to lose a well-meaning friend too.