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My world has caved in

(172 Posts)
Goose Mon 15-Apr-13 15:34:23

This morning I took my beloved 12yr old collie to the vets believing she had a tooth problem. The vet did a thorough inspection of her mouth and discovered the 'bleeding tooth' was in fact a huge tumour, too big to be operated on, an hour later my best friend was put down, without the opportunity for me to say goodbye. I'm in such shock, it's all happened so quickly and I'm sitting in the kitchen surrounded by her full dog bowl and her lead on the floor.
I'm sure some of you GN's will understand when I say I have never felt so alone in my life

celebgran Tue 23-Apr-13 12:54:49

So pleased some good came out sadness goose brought lump to my throat reading that glad went off ok big hug x x x

Goose Tue 23-Apr-13 12:48:48

....really a hatchet was buried along with the lead and treat....

Tegan Tue 23-Apr-13 12:48:04

Oh Goose; I'm so happy to hear that. Lets hope you can build on it now smile.

Goose Tue 23-Apr-13 12:45:09

Thank you so much all you GNrs that have been so supportive over the last week - you have really kept me afloatflowers. My three estranged daughters met me (and Mystery, in a lovely ornate wooden box) in the park yesterday and we made our way to the lovely copper beech which was her favourite tree, then took it in turns to read out heart felt words we'd written, scattered her ashes around the roots, finally burying her lead and a 'treat'. Mystery's legacy to us is that in her death, as in life, she brought us together againsmile

celebgran Tue 23-Apr-13 09:57:19

Me too hope you were ok flowers

whenim64 Tue 23-Apr-13 09:36:14

How's it going Goose? Did things to to plan yesterday? I was thinking about you smile

Deedaa Sat 20-Apr-13 21:49:14

I used to have one of my cats insured Goose but when she was about 10 the premiums suddenly rocketed and none of her bills were big enough for me to be able to claim, so basically I was paying twice. Since then I have been putting money away each month instead. I know it's a risk as my daughter had such catastrophic bills when her uninsured dog was badly injured that the whole family had to club together to pay them.

I had the same experience as you with a cat Tegan over £400 and I ended up with a dead cat who had had a lot of things done to him that I hadn't really wanted. And I had to pay another £40 to have him put to sleep when they admitted there was nothing they could do.

HUNTERF Sat 20-Apr-13 13:02:35

NfkDumpling

I can only agree with what you are saying.
Another dog will however fill 95% of it fairly quickly but it will take a long time to fill the other 5%.

Frank

NfkDumpling Sat 20-Apr-13 11:03:06

It is a small consolation that your dog had no idea - had you have known, so would she. Losing a dog leaves a big hole in one's life which only another doggy person can understand. Hopefully you have doggy friends with you for support. flowers

Tegan Sat 20-Apr-13 10:05:06

Oh and, just think; there's a little puppy out there, maybe not born yet that is just waiting for you to love it and love you back smile.

Tegan Sat 20-Apr-13 10:02:22

Goose; what you don't realise when you take out insurance is that the premium will go up each year [I thought I would pay the same for the whole of her life]. Only took it out because, having a dog like a whippet that runs so fast there is the worry of a bad fracture. Also, these days vets charge so much because they know people have insurance [had that thrown at me years ago when a cat that I felt had no chance of survival was being given test after test by a vet and the bill was increasing by the minute]. Why can some people use the PDSA? Which benefits do people have to be on to qualify for free treatment? I have got some money back for my dogs treatment thus far but have now got to the stage in her life where I've paid so much for insurance I'm scared that, the minute I stop it somethng bad will happen [this happened to my neighbour]. I often think, with life in general, how much money I'd have in the bank now if I'd never insured anything [other than car insurance, of course]. I'd probably be living in the Bahamas wink.

whenim64 Sat 20-Apr-13 08:35:18

glass smile When my last dog, Henry, was put to sleep, the lovely vet was crying, too, and had to wipe his eyes before he could continue. Henry was a rescue cocker spaniel, who came to live with me when he was 12. He was full of lumps and bumps, so within a week he was in the vets having most of them removed, including his tesicles, which had suspicious growths. What a vet's bill that was! I couldn't insure him. He looked like he'd been in a war zone, but recovered well and had two happy years with us. I knew we would be facing losing him as soon as we took him in, but he needed a home and he was such a loveable dog. The happy times always outweigh the grief when they leave us.

Goose I use Animal Friends for pet insurance. They are reasonable and do lots for charity. They sponsored that animal awards show that Paul O'Grady presented the other night.

Goose Sat 20-Apr-13 08:11:50

Having no Mystery dog to walk, feed, talk to, etc, has left me with time on my hands to just grumpsad, and my latest pondering is on vet insurance. For the lack of something better to do on another insomniac night, I mentally totted up how much I've spent on vet insurance over the last 12+ years. Mystery was a healthy dog and only went to the vet four times (including Monday). I have spent thousands of pounds on the gamble of her health (the fear of 'what if') and (at 4-00am this morninghmm decided 'what a con'. When I eventually do get another dog I'm going to start putting a few quid away each month for 'emergency vet fees', 'just in case'...
Has anyone else done this? Has it worked?

glassortwo Fri 19-Apr-13 23:36:32

goose don't worry about being upset in front of the vets receptionist, I worked in a vets for a while and you won't be the first and won't be the last to get upset, the Receptionist will probably shed a tear of her own once you have gone.

Eloethan Fri 19-Apr-13 23:23:39

I think any of us who's lost a much loved pet understands how you feel - it certainly isn't ridiculous.

whenim64 Fri 19-Apr-13 21:00:45

(((Hugs))) Goose don't make yourself do anything you're not ready for. I have been in the same situation - picking up my beloved pet's ashes on my own, trying not to cry in front of the vet's receptionist, breaking my heart in the car, putting off scattering their ashes (confession - there is still a little box waiting to be scattered from a few years ago - perhaps this year). Have a good weep - it's good for you - and in between, think of happy times, pick out a lovely photo of Mystery that you can see as you go about your day, and think ahead to another lucky dog having the same happy life you are able to offer flowers

Tegan Fri 19-Apr-13 20:44:48

Will think of you on Monday. It's not ridiculous, Goose..it's quite normal. You're going through a grieving process.

Goose Fri 19-Apr-13 20:40:35

It's ridiculous how this has unexpectedly affected me. Five days down the line and I'm still split between crying and 'being strong', can hardly walk, can't sleep, off food - all the symptoms of depression. Have to collect her ashes (on my own) on Monday, to scatter them round the local park.
It'd be a dangerous time to contemplate getting another dog, rescue or otherwise, as I know it'd be for the wrong reason - i.e: the desperate need to quickly fill in a dog sized hole in my life.
Wondering if it'll be possible to see another collie running around the park without immediately snivellingsad Pets should come with a warning sign chipped into them 'Beware, my departure will be unbearable'

Anne58 Fri 19-Apr-13 19:02:28

I'm sure you probably know this, but most breeds have their own rescue society:

www.bordercollietrustgb.org.uk/

Eloethan Fri 19-Apr-13 18:33:58

Goose I think absent has a point. It might be wise to take your time in reaching a decision and if you are thinking about a rescue dog, go a couple of times. take it for a walk, see how it reacts to different situations, etc.

Provided you're sure, it would be nice for you though to know you've given a sad dog a new and happy life.

absent Fri 19-Apr-13 18:20:43

Goose I didn't mean to put you off having a rescue dog. Far from it as they can be a real joy and delight. However, at least some of them have had a hard time elsewhere and it takes a while to restore their trust and confidence. My vet told me not to play tugging games with Maximum as he described him as a "mouthy" dog. I wouldn't let anyone else do so, but I played mouthy games all the time with my hands and fingers in and near his mouth. He became the gentlest of dogs and on the one occasion when he was playing and his tooth caught someone's hand by accident, he went into the corner doing his sorry dog position. He was a lovely dog and I miss him so much, so does Mr absent and so do our three remaining cats, especially Dingbat who used to stand guard at our front gate with him when the front door was left open in the summer.

HUNTERF Fri 19-Apr-13 18:02:55

Goose

I am afraid you can't have him but I think you would love Andie if you met him even though he might not be your favourite breed.

Frank

Florence56 Fri 19-Apr-13 15:15:40

Hello Goose, Hope you are getting better able to cope with your sad loss as each day passes. Today I met a sweet little pup outside our local shop. On asking about her I was duly introduced. She was only a couple of months old and probably about 80% Jack Russel, nearly all white but with dark socks on her back legs. She was so friendly and keen to meet everyone. Her very proud owner told me she had been abandoned at 5 weeks old and had found her way to a local dogs charity and thence to them. It was a lovely happy ending to everyone's satisfaction. I am sure that when the time comes you will be able to find your new baby too. all the best!

Orca Thu 18-Apr-13 19:21:51

goose I've always had rescue dogs. Never had any problems, you just have to be practical and go for a dog that suits you. Don't let your heart rule your head, there are lots of lovely young dogs that need a good home. There a dog out there for you.

celebgran Thu 18-Apr-13 19:07:29

Oh absent that is so sad! Wonder why on earth you feel inferior citizen at we year?
Little Rosie now 10 she has seen me through so much heartache since our daughter cut us off she is on heat at moment bless her I will be totally inconsolable when sad day comes at moment thank god she seems fine.

You are right no one who ever loved a pet cat or dog has been through the sadness of losing them. Rosie seems to just know when I am sad and can't back it she follows me like a shadow I love her totally!