I think it's time for Lily

A few years ago I was going to have my dog put down after a b/t and arranged with my vet to come out to do it. I then decided to have a second opinion and the second vet said she just had hepatitis and started a course of antibiotics. Imagine how awful I felt. Until a couple of weeks later, when it was obvious the first vet was right..and the second vet refused to come to my house to put her to sleep, so I had to drive her to the other side of town to see him. It was all down to two vets interpreting the b/t in different ways .

We never spend money on our pets for expensive toys, coats, etc- but I'd always choose to have the vet come to our house- so we can say good bye where they feel comfortable and not have all the stress of going to the vet's. Our elderly dog cannot get into the car anyway now- so when the time comes it will be the only choice. I realise it might be too expensive for some- but for me it is the best money you can spend for a loved animal, if at all possible.

soop I feel slightly uneasy when you mention 'parting with Hamish'. It's my son's name!

I am so sorry for everyone having to go through this awful time and having to go through this decision. I am so lucky that with my pets they all took that decision away from me and chose the moments themselves. For that I am so thankful because I really would have found it so hard and I totally understand how Phoenix must be feeling. I know we know what we "should" do but making that choice is just heart breaking. Love and best wishes Phoenix. xx.

anno Yes, I didn't regret making the decision to part with Hamish either. He couldn't tell us how poorly he was. We just knew when the time was right.

At the age of 17, I had to be the 'adult' who talked my Dad into taking our beloved, but very sick, boxer for her final visit to the vet. I still feel tearful when I remember that day - the worst Hogmanay of my life. Many years later, my lovely black cat, developed a tumour and I stroked his head and he purred as the needle went it. Only a few months later, I had to do the same for my sweet natured, blind ginger cat, Sandy. I hated doing it, but have never regretted it. Love to you and Lily, phoenix.

My heart goes out to all those who are faced with such a decision. I know just how hard it is to let go. We had a cat called Hamish. I held him close to me as he was put to sleep by the vet. I thought at the time that my heart was about to break. Even as I type this message, some fifteen years later, the tears are falling. Loving thoughts to everyone.

Thank you all, and special thoughts to Aka and family.

phoenix, it's heart-rending, isn't it? By the time our wee cat, Lucky had to be put to sleep, he had deteriorated quite rapidly during the days he was being cared for at the vet's. Before I took him in, I sat on the floor next to him and he looked into my eyes as if he was telling me something. On the day that the vet told me that his treatment wasn't working, I went along and held him while the deed was done. He'd come and snuggled against me as soon as he was brought into the room. Our animals love us just as much as we love them. I think you know what you have to do, phoenix. xx

phoenix I do unfortunatly know what you are going through we where lucky that Barney died quietly and peacefully in his bed but when we look back we can see how he deteriated slowly during his last week and we knew it was only a matter of time,but any discomfort to him would have had Mr G at the vets and have him put to sleep.Take care it's a very sad time.

My DS has been facing this dilemma on and off for a year now with his dog, my granddog. Today at 10.00 the vet is coming to their house to put him to sleep.

It's very sad

Phoenix - my neighbour asked where our old dog was when he saw me walking the younger dogs. I told him the dog , aged 15, was being treated for various old age things, and at home. My neighbour said 'you'll know when the time is right. Better a week too soon, than a day too late". A couple of nights later I was giving liquid feed/water by syringe and the old dog let it dribble out of his mouth, whilst gazing into my eyes. Ok boy I said. He remains a legend in our family, but I do thank my neighbour for his gentle words. The neighbour also has dogs so understood - sending hugs to you and Lily

"It is not an easy thing to do but I think we can all tell when an animal has had enough"

Nellie that is part of the problem, Lily seems absolutely fine between fits, eats, uses the litter tray (she decided long ago that the outside world was not for her!) comes through to join us in the sitting room in the evening.

Yes, I need to think about what things would be like for her if I was working full time again, but it's the question of what her quality of life is like, and that is hard to judge on todays performance.

It's not an ideal life for a cat sitting halfway up the stairs most of the time, but it's where she has chosen to be, and she seems quite happy there (daft tart)

How do I tell if she has had enough ?

Sorry, I know it seems as if I'm prevaricating, which I suppose I am, but I keep going back to the questions I've asked.

it's terrible when you have to play God. But pets usually live on a lot longer than Nature probably intends. Often it's made easier because the animal clearly no longer wants to be here. It sounds as if Liky may have had enough.

As said in PM to another lovely member today, our pets bring us so much joy, but it does hurt to lose them.

Phoenix I have been there with pets our cat and a budgie.

The cat had been ill for along while but not obviously in pain but I did leave it far too long.
One of my budgie pairs had developed really bad breathing problems and they didn't clear up with antibiotics and I took him to be put down.

The other 10yr old (elderly) budgie Georgie did get very poorly one winter and I thought it was the end for him but recovered on antibiotics, quite surprisingly really. A snotty wheezy budgie is a very sad looking creature.
He was then good for several more months.

He spent his last week chasing his companion madly and raucously around the room but one night ended up on the top of the pelmet obviously looking very sick. I got him into the travel cage covered it up to keep him calm and sat with the cage on my lap until he quietly died.
Georgie went downhill in a few hours after a day having lots of fun doing what he most enjoyed. I suspect heart failure but that was a far better way than being ill for weeks.
It is not an easy thing to do but I think we can all tell when an animal has had enough.

(((hugs)))

phoenix that is the hardest call to make, you have to do whats best for Lily

I do feel for you phoenix it's a horrible decision to have to make. I think you will find it a rwlief when you don't have to worry about her anymore.

That's what I was thinking last night; if you're going to be away all day you'll never forgive yourself if you come home and find that something has happened to her during the day and you won't know what has happened.

Many thanks for all the good wishes, I haven't phoned the vet yet but I will. Mr P thinks it's the right thing, but when we tried to take her on Christmas Eve (and failed because the road was flooded) he was actually quite relieved that the mission was aborted!

However I must take into account that with a bit of luck I should be starting work again soon, and leaving her in the house alone (there are the other cats, but you know what I mean) wouldn't be fair on her. The wound on the back of my head is now a bit swollen and very tender.

Brave and loving decision- and the right thing to do when you truly love an animal.

Our eldest wanted to be a vet- but working at a friend's practice on Saturdays and holidays, she was truly shocked that so many (and yes, generally older) people- put their animals through awful pain, etc- at the end of their lives, because they just can't let go.

My heart goes to you as I know how hard it is (I am sitting here with a 14 year old dachs and a 16 year old Heinz57 and a 17 year old cat...)

phoenix think of Lily's age, she is not in her first flush of youth. If it is going through your mind that this is the correct thing to do, I think that you have made your own decision. You do not want Lily to suffer. What are Mr. P's feelings?

All the very best, I know from personal experience that it is not easy.

((((Hugs))))

It's very hard to make such a decision particularly when at times she's sitting there looking normal - probably the right thing to do though as poor Lily must be confused and frightened

phoenix it may help to ask yourself what advice you would give to someone in your shoes. I think you know the answer. (((Hugs)))