Gransnet forums

Pets

Day one without a cat in the house

(50 Posts)
MargaretX Mon 03-Feb-14 20:17:36

Tomorrow I'm facing being without a cat. My beloved ginger tom Jasper was put to sleep today. The pain is terrible and due to our age we can't think of having another cat.

NfkDumpling Wed 26-Feb-14 21:26:08

I think I've already said on Phoenix's thread about Lily that my MiL had a theory about cats and how one would always turn up to fill a vacancy in a cat house. She always had three and whenever one died another would turn up and move in within a few weeks. Most were strays but the last was Fuzzy who moved in from a noisy house with several children and couldn't be persuaded to move back.
It sounds as if the word may have got out that you have a cat vacancy at your house!

Anne58 Wed 26-Feb-14 16:47:44

Margaret it was a week ago yesterday that Lily went on her last visit to the vet, although we still have Maurice and Digby it still feels strange not to have a pretty white face watching us through the bannisters. I expect you too still almost expect to see him, perhaps just around the corner, or asleep in a favourite spot.

Each animal has their place in our lives, they do not get replaced as if they were a piece of furniture that has become worn out.

When the dear old Cluckmeister died (I think the thread was titled "And then there were two" I did contact Cats Protection, hence Digby! he was not a replacement for Clucky, I still can't properly explain what made me even look at their website, but here he is, and what joy he has brought.

Perhaps you might end up with a part time cat, like janerowena ?

Anyway, sending you good wishes and some understanding.

MargaretX Wed 26-Feb-14 16:29:56

I just wanted to thank everyone for the kind thoughts and understanding of what its like to lose a beloved pet. Its well over 3 weeks now since Jasoer was put to sleep, and I'm pleased to say that slowly but surely I am coming to terms with it. It was the right thing to do and we spared him much pain.

I thought I'd never get over it but now I feel that I will and of course I'll always treasure the memories.
We are still without a cat in the house but it no longer feels quite so empty and a couple of cats have already pushed their faces up at the French windows. So maybe we'll have cat in the garden this summer.
Thanks again.

rosesarered Fri 14-Feb-14 10:42:12

I didn't know that Charleygirl but don't think we could take on a cat that already had a medical problem. It's nice to see your cat skipping about for a few years isn't it? Also cats hate trips to the vets [ like me to the doctors!]

Charleygirl Thu 13-Feb-14 22:41:02

rosesarered the Cat Protection League will pay vet bills if you adopt one of their elderly cats that has a known medical problem and they feel would benefit from a lovely home. They do not do it for every elderly cat unfortunately.

rosesarered Thu 13-Feb-14 20:52:29

I miss my old cat too, he had to be put to sleep last year aged 17 like your description Margaret so thin and matted and not eating.He still managed a purr with us, even at the vets.We did the right thing for him, but as you say, it's so hard when you remember them and wish they were still here [but not ill.]Having had cats all our lives , we are now having a cat free break, and amazingly, I am really not sure if I want another one. We can now go anywhere without planning or worrying, sit down without us or guests getting covered in hair, not have to do litter trays or expensive vet bills.But yet....... so think we will have a couple of years and then think about it. The problem with getting another older cat Margaret is that vet bills could be huge, as old cats need treatment a lot.If you do decide on another I would go for one about 3 years old with a calm gentle nature.Next door's cat is always on my doorstep, he is never hungry but appreciates a pat on the head and a kind word.It will get easier for you in a few months.flowers

bikergran Sun 09-Feb-14 11:43:32

really sorry for your heartbreak MargaretX cats are one of their own aren't they.

Ariadne Sun 09-Feb-14 11:00:43

Margaret my last cat, Rosie, died a few years ago at the grand old age of 24. We were about to embark on a very busy period of our retirement, with lots of travelling round the country and, indeed, the world, so decided that we would not have another cat just then.

And somehow, as we are still travelling quite a bit, we don't have a cat. But I do miss what some one once called "having another person around who isn't human."

maryjayne52 Sat 08-Feb-14 20:41:25

I do sympathise with you Margaret. I have a dog and they are my favourite but a cat must be equally good for the right person.

Mary

nigglynellie Fri 07-Feb-14 17:58:40

Just to say MargaretX that I too am VERY sorry to hear about the loss of your cat - losing a beloved pet is heart breaking, I do feel for you.

MargaretX Wed 05-Feb-14 10:36:53

Thankyou Ariadne for the lovely poem. I am coming to terms with the fact that we won't have another cat. We have put all the baskets away and the blankets in the bin.
I couldn't possibly think of going to a cat sanctuary to help as I want a cat in my house and I can't replace Jasper anyhow. I have had cats since I was 17, before that we had a dog. and Jasper was the best I ever had and the one I loved the most.
Thanks again for all those kind wishes.

NfkDumpling Tue 04-Feb-14 18:47:26

Dare I ask about Lily Phoenix?

Anne58 Tue 04-Feb-14 18:39:19

Digby came to us at the age of 2 from Cats Protection after we lost the old Cluckmeister (still had Maurice and Lily) and he is so lovely. Our local branch has quite a few older cats needing homes, some are over 10, and they seem to struggle to home them.sad

GillT57 Tue 04-Feb-14 16:32:17

I just cant imagine a house without a cat, so sad for you. It is very early days, but do go and visit a good local animal sanctuary. My daughter helps in one on Sundays and they have cats of all temperaments and ages, they even re-housed two older cats to a retirement home! Cat bliss, all those laps! so sorry for your loss.

janerowena Tue 04-Feb-14 15:54:49

I know... I haven't been able to face replacing our last cat. I can't even bring myself to replace the sofa she wrecked, as it's the last reminder of her. I look at the frayed fabric and remember how she would run away and pretend she hadn't been anywhere near it when I entered the room!

I have adopted next door's cat while they are out at work instead. She suns herself in my porch all day, helps me with the weeding and catches my mice, and rushes off to greet them when they come home, which is ideal for all of us.

shysal Tue 04-Feb-14 15:46:33

That is lovely Ariadne.
My heart goes out to you MargaretX, I know how it feels. flowers

nannyfran Tue 04-Feb-14 15:43:02

Margaret, my heart goes out to you, having been there several times over the years. After my special one died, I thought I would never have another, but after a while the house was so empty we changed our minds. 10 years later our 2 ginger rescue cats have been a joy, providing affection and many funny moments when they were kittens and slightly mad ones at that.
Ariadne's poem says it all and I got very choked up reading it and remembering.

annodomini Tue 04-Feb-14 14:41:19

The poem is perfect - it sums up the sense of loss - the cat-shaped gap in one's life.

Anne58 Tue 04-Feb-14 14:05:04

Ariadne that is lovely, it's made my eyes leak a bit.

granjura Tue 04-Feb-14 13:12:16

Margaret- a good rescue centre will know its cats- and which, despite being a bit older, are gentle and tame and just want a cuddle rather than a scrap. They can help you choose a gentle and lovely friend.

Ariadne Tue 04-Feb-14 12:07:37

MargaretX I have paraphrased this poem by Hardy, which I first read when one of my many lovely cats died. I always remember Henry, "leaping to the windowsill".

Pet was never mourned as you,
Purrer of the spotless hue,
Plumy tail, and wistful gaze
While you humoured our queer ways,
Or outshrilled your morning call
Up the stairs and through the hall--
Foot suspended in its fall--
While, expectant, you would stand
Arched, to meet the stroking hand;
Till your way you chose to wend
Yonder, to your tragic end.

From the chair whereon he sat
Sweep his fur, nor wince thereat;
Rake his little pathways out
Mid the bushes roundabout;
Smooth away his talons' mark
From the claw-worn pine-tree bark,
Where he climbed as dusk embrowned,
Waiting us who loitered round.

Strange it is this speechless thing,
Subject to our mastering,
Subject for his life and food
To our gift, and time, and mood;
Timid pensioner of us Powers,
His existence ruled by ours,
Should - by crossing at a breath
Into safe and shielded death,
By the merely taking hence
Of his insignificance--
Loom as largened to the sense,
Shape as part, above man's will,
Of the Imperturbable..

Housemate, I can think you still
Bounding to to the windowsill.....

xxxxx

Charleygirl Tue 04-Feb-14 11:59:31

MargaretX I know how awful you are feeling- they become part of your life. Fostering may be a good option later, maybe through the Cat Protection League. You will not have vet bills and also you will not have the heartache of deciding to put an animal to sleep as most are short term visitors.

Soutra Tue 04-Feb-14 11:19:00

It is often said and I think it is so true that you have to love them enough to let them go. Brave, if heart breaking, decision.

Anne58 Tue 04-Feb-14 11:01:37

Sending you every good wish.

MargaretX Tue 04-Feb-14 10:57:01

Thankyou all for your kind messages. It is now day one and I am getting through it. It was yesterday that was so heartbreaking. Watching him with his matted fur and thin, so thin. We did the right thing. He was 17 and probably had a tumour, he could no longer eat or drink.
Last night we looked at films and photos of him on the computer and remembered what he looked like in his prime. We also remembered that he didn't have much time for us then! Out all night and asleep all day and easy for the neighbours to look after him when we were away. This last year has been different and we know what a responsibility it can be to have another animal.
We don't know what the future will bring whether we will have to go into sheltered housing. Who knows that anyway?
I was once badly bitten by a rescue cat and got blood poisoning and needed a lot of antibiotics, and then we had a stray for 10 years, who was difficult and thats putting it mildly. We got Jasper as a kitten and from a good home as I felt I wanted an easy cat for a change.
Now that Jasper is gone other cats from the neighbourhood will begin to call by and I will have their company.