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Naughty Oliver Sprout!

(13 Posts)
Anne58 Tue 09-Sep-14 21:20:53

Yes, he's ended up with 2 names, but I suppose it's not quite as bad as Digby, who is actually sort of semi officially Digby Kevin Wilberforce Hudson the Third, not that there was ever a first or second, but you know how these things sort of evolve confused blush

Aaaaaanyway, the youngster is proving to be a devil for the birds, feathered variety unfortunately. sad I keep them both in a prime times, i.e. dusk and dawn, but the current routine means feeding at around 7.15am, kitchen window then left open while I go and shower, so that after brekkers they can go out and "stretch their legs".

On Sunday I came down after tea in bed to find the youngster in the kitchen with a very dead robin. angry I swear there were more feathers spread across the floor than were ever attached to the poor bird, and they were a devil to sweep up.

Tonight I came in from work and as a good cat owner feline servant, fed the boys, leaving the window open for them (one had been in all day, the other out, still not sure who was the most aggrieved) before nipping upstairs to change and have a short phone conversation with Mr P.

Came down not 10 minutes later to find the remains of a starling on the kitchen floor, plus the unwanted presence of Fraidy from next door. (I'm not one to judge a book by it's cover, but I swear the older that cat gets, the uglier he looks, a face with an expression like a bulldog licking vinegar off a stinging nettle, and that's the polite version!) Digby was in the kitchen, as was Fraidy, Oliver Sprout on the outside of the open window, sitting on the sill.

No-one seemed to want to claim ownership of the starling, not that I was surprised, from the look of it it might have been a very old one who had decided on an avian approach to Dignitas and wandered of it's own free will into the waiting jaws of the nearest cat.

I shouted at Fraidy, who jumped up ready to escape through the open window, but appeared a bit reluctant to take the final step as his path was blocked by Oliver Sprout, in full feline ninja mode, back arched, poised on tip-paws, extra tail swishing for optimum leap and balance, with appropriate noises just to show how full-on his training was . (I think he may have a black collar qualification in Catarte, or perhaps Tabby Kwon Do, somewhat lesser known martial arts, but without checking back through the paperwork from Cat's Protection, I can't be sure)

Anyway, dustpan and brush deployed, general admonishments ministered, glass of wine poured and normal service was resumed.

posie Tue 09-Sep-14 21:48:04


Icyalittle Tue 09-Sep-14 23:11:51

You are so good at this phoenix. (Snorting with laughter, even though I know I should be suitably [shocked] at the demise of the birds.)

ninathenana Wed 10-Sep-14 00:10:25

Just what I was going to post Icyalittle

nannyfran Wed 10-Sep-14 16:55:42

Brilliant, Phoenix!I don't know why you haven't written the best seller yet.
My sympathies over the birds. Our two are lethal hunters and have unfortunately reduced the bird population in their time.Their latest is half grown rabbits which they bring in usually in the middle of a good programme on t.v. So far we have managed to rescue most of them, but scrabbling round under furniture late in the evening can get a little tedious!
I hope your Oliver Sprout doesn't progress to larger prey, it can be exhausting!

Nelliemoser Wed 10-Sep-14 17:28:04

I cat I had in a shared flat had the name Franklin D'arcy Crouch.
The last name was because he was born in Crouch End. Very posh now full of bedsits in 1971,
Was known as Frank or Frankie wanky!

Pheonix I haven't heard about Fraidy. When did he arrive?

tiggypiro Wed 10-Sep-14 17:37:52

Oh phoenix you really do need to get to a wider audience than GN much as we love reading your posts !
I am now hoping that Purdy is the only feline I must pander to !

How is the job going ?

shysal Wed 10-Sep-14 17:48:31

One of my previous cats was a great hunter and brought in all manner of prey from the woods and elsewhere. At one point he regularly deposited a piece of frozen fish under the telephone table in the hall (always on a Friday) where I would find it only when it began to smell and drip into the carpet!
His largest 'gift' was a partially eaten cooked turkey carcass, with which he climbed in the bathroom window while I was in the bath, giving us both a shock! Don't you just love the little dears!

Charleygirl Wed 10-Sep-14 17:59:27

Tara left a rat on my front doorstep a few years ago. Thankfully she could not bring it through the catflap but I had the pleasure of removing it when I found the creature. At least it was dead, most birds she brings home are still alive. Thankfully the bird killing spree has not occurred this year.

Anne58 Wed 10-Sep-14 18:00:46

Oh yuk, shysal !

Nellie I'm glad to say that Fraidy isn't one of mine, he belongs to next door along with Toffee, Moski, Marvin, Bear and the latest addition, Gerald confused

Many thanks to you all for the compliments on my random ramblings, I still would like to do a blog, but heaven knows when I would get the time! Work does get in the way of so many things!

tiggy do keep us informed about Purdy's Progress (sounds like a good title for a blog?)

Nelliemoser Wed 10-Sep-14 19:01:49

pheonix grinHave you ever thought of doing stand up comedy ?

Nelliemoser Wed 10-Sep-14 19:03:01

Sorry about the spelling phoenix. I can never get it right.

Anne58 Wed 10-Sep-14 19:35:53

No need to worry about the spelling Nellie !

In a previous job, I had to do a welcome speech to around a 100 - 200 guests at a time, and I always tried to make it at least a bit humorous.

One evening, the entertainments person had sloped off to have sex with her boyfriend gone missing, so to fill the gap I did sort of do a 15 minute thing of what might loosely be called "stand up". I stole stuff from Dave Allen (school kids/teenagers talking on the phone, even though they had been together all day, teenagers thinking that if they stare long enough into the fridge something else just might materialise, etc etc) I got away with it!

Think I may be a bit long in the tooth (and way too nervous!) to start out on that road, although I'm drawn towards the written word.

I worry that this may sound big headed, but so many people (especially on GN) seem to like my ramblings, it does make me think a bit about if there might be a wider audience who are easily pleased might enjoy the odd bit of the codswallop that I write.

So far, apart from the village magazine, the only publication I have submitted a piece to has been "The Oldie" and that piece was turned down.