Like a Brian Rix farce in here!

phoenix that's brilliant
I can so sympathise, ruddy cats......and of course you'd love a rescued kitten to sort out Oliver Sprout and dear Digby, wouldn't you?

HaHaHa! Cats!

Phoenix you and your cats could win next year's 'Britain's Got Talent' if you polish that routine a few more times! Hilarious!!!

phoenix that's so funny! No cats of my own now and it does make me nostalgic. Is nostalgic the right word?

I wish I had your powers of description, Phoenix, you tell a good tale!
At 1.30 am last night Saffron came home through the flap, announcing her arrival as usual. However, I have learnt to recognise the 'meow with a mouth full'. She raced upstairs with her live gift for me, managing to lose it in my bedroom! After a few hours on sentry duty, she gave up. As far as I know it still resides behind a very heavy chest of drawers, which I am loath to move. I have positioned a pet-proof mouse trap against the adjacent skirting, which usually does the trick, unless it has died! At least it wasn't a baby bunny, which I have had to chase in the past.
Why do we love our pets so much?

I read somewhere that their kills are little presents for you, not because they love you, but because they think you are an appalling hunter/gatherer! They are trying to train you up.

Oh I think you need to start a blog phoenix, if this is anything to go by . You could call it Cat Tales.

Thanks to all who posted!

I'm working on something with Oliver Sprout at the moment, but if I told you, you wouldn't believe it

Hoping to get it on camera, and if we do, will upload to You Tube. With some guidance from someone isn't a techno numpty

Without giving too much away, it does involve a bit of bribery and corruption, but those that have seen the odd training session have been

Abs brilliant Phoenix and definitely more entertaining than the tv! My friend managed to break a toe tonight whiost trying to avoid stepping on the cat!

Thanks to all who posted!

Although Katek there was a brilliant 2 part thing on TV a while back, think it was called "The Secret Life of Pets" Absolutely fascinating, although there were a couple of sections where I didn't know whether to watch the programme or watch Digby wacthing the programme!

Perhaps I shouldn't be posting this, as it was first posted on another forum, and I think there is some rule with regard to forums retaining copyright, or some such thing, but anyway, I will post it with just a slight change!

OK, So picture the scene.........

It is stupid o'clock in the Phoenix house, (I so do not do mornings) Mr P gets up to go & make me my cup of tea. I hear some muted swearing along the lines of the elderly cat has been sick on the stairs & that I will have to get the cleaning stuff & deal with it etc. I would like to point out at this stage that Mr P is a drainage engineer. Show him an overflowing septic tank with turds & tampons bobbing about, & he's your man, ask him to empty the cat litter tray or deal with a bit of vomit & he's marked absent.

I decide to do the decent thing & get out of bed to assess the damage. Bear in mind that I do not normally do movement of the walking variety until I have drunk the aforementioned beverage.

So, naked, (not a pretty sight, please see profile for further information, but not if you are eating) I venture forth.

At the top of the stairs, my right leg develops a mind of its own & sets off confidently. (After all, it has done this many times before.) My left leg, however, decides it has become emotionally attached to that upright post at the top of the banisters & wraps itself around it.

This results in an undignified & painful occurrence. Thank god no video footage is available. My ankle now sports a sizeable wound, & has swollen to the point where the only shoes I can wear are my Birkenstock sandals. (Which, btw dh refers to as "you know, those lesbian ones you bought in Munich) My boss is less than impressed with my current work attire.

But what adds insult to injury is that while I was dangling naked & in pain from the top of the banisters, dh, (by now at the bottom of the stairs) looked up & said "what ARE you doing?"

What the heaven’s sake did he think I was doing?
Working on a new dance move?
Conducting an experiment on stair abuse for an obscure department of the EEC?
Testing the friction resistance of woolmix/manmade fibres for the British Carpet Manufacturers Association?
Attempting to see how much the human ankle can change colour as the swelling goes down & the bruising kicks in?

Ouch!
Sorry for laughing but..........

Men! On seeing me in A+E with a totally dislocated foot, and badly broken ankle, DH asked me 'Why did you do that?' Just as if anyone would chose to do it deliberately so that they could have 6 months on crutches

I was in too much pain to even answer!

...and who's Brian Rix!?

thank you Phoenix

(Have you started your blog yet?)

Brian Rix is an actor famous for acting in the Whitehall farces of the late 50's and 60's. Very funny. He retired from acting early to put all his energies into raising awareness of the issues surrounding the treatment of children and young people with special needs.He had a child with Downs syndrome.

If I remember rightly Brian Rix was particularly famous for always losing his trousers (in the farces I mean - not whilst walking along the street!)

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Rix The other thing about farces is the rushing in and out of doors and French windows. Suits Oliver Sprout!