Dilemma

Thanks so much for your lovely replies. Thanks Merlotgran. I'm feeling really delighted and everyone's point of view has been really helpful.

So glad you've been able to sort it all out, Juney. Homing a retired guide dog sounds to me like a win win situation for both dog and new owner.

Here's to your first visit to your grandson as well as your new doggy companion.

I don't think you're chosing dog over baby if you are just thinking of going end of Nov instead of start - that's not a big difference really

IF you were thinking of postponing until 2017, thus missing out on seeing the baby while it was still a <6 month old baby-baby, then yeah that would be chosing dog over baby. But not a slight delay which is what you're suggesting

and by god I'm NO "dog person" and love babies, but you are not suggesting cancelling or anything, just 20/30 days delay - that's no biggie surely, I think you should go end of nov

Hope you meet your new grandson soon. Registration and passports for babies get very complicated when parents are from different countries. Both my children have partners from other countries and last grandson was born in a country where neither of his parents were nationals. Hope they can sort it soon, it has made things very difficult to get British passport now you have to get it from this country and not the Embassy as you could in the past.

I must say many thanks to everyone who has responded. Merlotgran, thank you for your kind words. Cornergran, I think you were spot on when you say that the date was to minimise my disappointment.
Jayanna - your post did make me laugh. I'd love to live that kind of 'jet-setting' life haha.
My Son and DIL already knew the lengthy history re the dog. I chatted with them about the situation on Skype and they were just great. They couldn't have been kinder or more understanding. I discussed with them many of the suggestions that you all offered and that helped enormously. They definitely don't feel that I'm choosing a dog over the baby and were very much of a 'let's find a solution that suits everyone' mindset.
The passport problem is because my Son is British and my DIL is Argentinian. Even though my GS was born in Spain, apparently he can't be registered as Spanish as he has no Spanish heritage. They're currently attempting to get dual nationality. All their communications have to be remote so they're having difficulty. So, it's all quite complicated and frankly, I'm not sure that I 'get it' lol.
I too feel sure that Guide Dogs would have delayed for a week if absolutely necessary but from what I understand, they would prefer that retiring dogs go straight from one home to another and try to avoid 'boarding' in between.
So, I'll be going to meet my new Grandson soon and feel very excited. Any 'how to be a Gran' tips would be very welcome!
Thanks again to everyone who responded - I feel quite astonished as this was my first proper post. What a great place!!

Can you do both? Hop on a plane to Barcelona this weekend! Back on Monday.......

It could make a difference to her son and dil though and that should be the over riding consideration. Think how you would have felt if your mother or mother in law had not thought seeing one of your children was the most important thing.

And, reread Nellie's post.

Definitely dog! Agree with all the reasons already given above. Your arrangements were already made, a couple more weeks won't make any difference to the baby. Not about choosing dog v baby but about being practical.

I am not a dog person , but in this case would delay my visit to get the dog settled in . I understand your worries over how to say it to the babies parents ! Could you speak to the homing centre first to see if they would delay it for a couple of weeks .
What problems are the parents having with getting a passport for the baby? Have they explained ?
The relationship with your son would have to be quite fragile for them to fall out with you over this small delay .

Yes I love dogs and have three but in this instance I think the baby must take priority. It's not so much about the baby but the message you are sending to your family that the dog comes first.
As others have said, talk to the charity about the problem and I'm sure they will help, if not there will be other dogs. Don't damage family relationships over this.

Humans over animals every time! Most important to keep the family relationships healthy and that they don't get the wrong message about a dog being more important than this precious baby so don't spoil things with the family.
It would be amazing if a suitable donation to cover the dog's expenses for another few weeks would not sort the charity out and the dog will never know.

I wonder if you have already spoken with your family about your plans to re-home a dog. If so it could be relatively easy to explain the situation and ask for their help in resolving the conflict, especially if they know how important the dog will be to you. The suggested date could simply be to minimise your disappointment that they cannot visit you just now. Having said that I do think it is very likely the re-homing process could be delayed if you explain the circumstances. You've nothing to lose by trying and the problem could be solved. It's very important your family understand you aren't choosing the dog above their child but simply trying to find a solution to an unexpected problem. If the dates they have suggested for your visit are the only ones possible for them then in your shoes I would go. There will be other opportunities to re-home a dog. I can understand it's difficult and hope there can be a solution that is fair to you all.

Juney64 Go and see the baby! There are always a lot of dogs needing rehoming.
DaphneBs Lovely Grace is a retired greyhound. The greyhound rescue is always looking for homes.

It's far easier to get a rescue dog than a baby.

Talk to the guide dogs people first. I am sure there will be another opportunity to rehome a dog.

It's only a few weeks difference - provided it is convenient for your son and daughter in law for you to visit them in November instead. However, as has been mentioned, you'd better be sure that your daughter in law will be OK about it.

If there is no flexibility regarding the re-homing date (I don't really understand why it can't be put off for a couple of weeks) and you are absolutely sure that delaying your visit will not cause a rift, I would go for the dog. Perhaps you could say that as you were expecting them to visit you, it had not been expected that the re-homing date would be an issue.

I agree with Hilltopgran - was just about to post the same! Of course to your son and DIL the baby is the most important thing in the world and I think they might find it hard to understand you putting a dog before it.

The dog is NOT more important than the baby. How melodramatic to even suggest it.

The young family was going to travel to England but there were problems with sorting the baby's passport. Most families are able to work around travel complications like this and the baby won't disappear in a puff of smoke because of a three week delay in granny's visit.

I think this is a very difficult one, how will your DIL feel about a dog being more important than her baby. It could affect your relationship for the future. Is there a cultural difference, my daughter found in Spain that strangers would stop her in the street to admire a baby in a way that would not happen in England.

Our animals are very important to us with grandchildren living overseas, but if I am asked to visit, I go and do not mention the problems it leaves me sorting out the animals.

If the charity can not delay a week for you to take the dog on it seems very strange, last rescue dog we had the rescue kindly held for 2 weeks so we could attend our sons wedding abroad.

Definitely dog, if you've been on the list to take one and you dob out (for whatever reason) it will count against you in the future.

Grandchild won't even have you marked as absent! Will son and oh understand, or will it result in major "humph!" type behaviour?

dog

Dog for me for the reasons mentioned- you may not get another chance.

The dog! simply because the baby won't know who you are, and you could visit next month. Whereas the dog needs the home now.Surely your relatives will understand.

Juney, I would go for the dog everytime. Postpone your visit, I am sure everyone will understand.
Good luck with your new companion

I would postpone the visit to see baby and settle the dog in. I'm sure that your son will understand. Enjoy your new dog, then go with a happy heart and give the new grandson lots of cuddles.

Juney's only planning to postpone the visit by three weeks or so. The baby is already four months old and it's not her fault she's having to visit them instead of the other way round.

Having gone through a lengthy re-homing process I think it's a sensible idea to go at the end of November. The baby won't have changed all that much by then and the dog will hopefully be settled.

You're not choosing a dog over your grandson, Juney, you're just trying to find a middle way.

Good luck with the dog.

The dog