Gransnet forums


when to say goodbye

(15 Posts)
seacliff Fri 15-Mar-19 16:50:24

We have just got back from the vets with our dear little 4 year old black cat. He is one of our 6 cats, and like them all was a rescue. He has not been right for a few weeks, just off his food, a bit lethargic, not much we could really say except we knew something wasn't right.

We have 2 local vets close, but chose to take him to a better more experienced vet half hour away. The vet examined him, and immediately knew what was wrong. He has a large lump in his tummy, cancer. I forget what type he said. My husband felt it too, size of a peach. An operation is a possible option but the vet only gave a 10% chance of complete recovery.

I thought he was going to say best to say goodbye now, but he said he doesn't seem to be in pain. He suggested a steroid injection which will last about 1 month. Then we can see how he is. Some cats go 6 months like this apparently.

We are so upset, but I was not altogether surprised somehow. I am glad we went to that vet, and haven't had to put him through painful blood tests etc. We can make a huge fuss of him and give him treats, and gradually say goodbye. We lost another little cat 18 months ago, run over just over a year old.

We do not want him to linger and suffer, the vet assured us he'd have said if he felt he was in pain now. It's going to be hard to decide when, and it will be there in our minds, So sad.

NanaandGrampy Fri 15-Mar-19 16:56:42

I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved cats diagnosis.

I think you will know in your heart when its time , if he is not in visible pain and is enjoying the small stuff like food then I think you can take it day by day.

Its the toughest part of pet ownership but I like to think making that difficult decision is a big part of it - when its what's best for him not you.

I wish you luck and sending a hug for your sadnessx

sodapop Fri 15-Mar-19 16:57:06

I'm so sorry seacliff it's hard to do the right thing when we care so much for our pets. At least you have the chance to say goodbye and give him extra love. He has had a better life with you than if he had been left without a forever home. I know how you must feel.

seacliff Fri 15-Mar-19 17:04:38

Thanks. I'm in tears, stupid. I know there are so many worse things going on in the world, but it's still very upsetting. I agree that is the price we pay as pet owners, we have to make hard decisions at times.

Willow500 Fri 15-Mar-19 17:05:24

So sad Seacliff - these decisions are so hard to make but you will know when the time has finally come. In the meantime spoil the little guy rotten and shower him with love and any favourite food he'll eat.

EllanVannin Fri 15-Mar-19 17:23:37

Oh dear, I know only too well how it feels x A sad time but make the most of it with him.

Alima Fri 15-Mar-19 17:26:40

I really feel for you seacliff, it is a horrible time. Four is very young but he has been a lucky little rescue cat with a safe home.

Badenkate Fri 15-Mar-19 17:54:25

I'm so sorry Seacliff, I know exactly how you feel as we've had pets all through our married life and sad though it is they have to leave us. At least you have time to cuddle and fuss and make memories

Nanabilly Fri 15-Mar-19 18:01:57

From experience don't leave it until he's in too much pain or too ill. We did and afterwards we felt very selfish and unfit to keep pets because we kept him alive because we could not say goodbye

Squiffy Fri 15-Mar-19 18:33:40

Seacliff I feel for you. We had to take the same decision last autumn. I'm sure you will know when the time is right. flowers

Framilode Fri 15-Mar-19 18:37:38

I think you will now Seacliff when it is time. We had to say goodbye to our much loved dog at Christmas. We knew he was at the end of days but still having quality of life. One day I could see that that was no longer true and did what I thought was the kind thing. I think you will also know.

I'm so sorry for you it's so hard.

seacliff Fri 15-Mar-19 18:44:38

I was just looking for pictures of him, and realised we don't have that many. Partly because it's hard to get a picture of a all black cat, all we see are the eyes!

And also because whenever we have visitors he disappears. Under the bed, or under a hedge, until they have gone. He is just our cat and not very social with visitors.

watermeadow Fri 15-Mar-19 18:46:22

I’m so sorry, he’s so young but it’s quality of life which matters to pets, not quantity.
It’s very hard to know when cats are in pain but when one stops enjoying life it’s time to be brave and say goodbye.
Owners always agonise over whether they did it too soon or left it too late. That will be even worse when we have euthanasia for old people.

grandtanteJE65 Sun 17-Mar-19 12:53:17

As long as he is enjoying his life, do nothing. You will know, or he will, when it is time to let go. It's hell, isn't it, wondering when you should go to the vet for the last time?

Hope his last days are enjoyable for him, Try not to worry, but I know that is easier said than done.

Septimia Sun 17-Mar-19 13:11:54

We've lost two cats to forms of cancer. The more recent one was a good age for a cat, had always been nervous and was getting rheumatic. He developed a tumour behind his eye and there was nothing the vet could do except give him an injection - not sure, probably steroid. Anyway, we took him home and he had about 6 weeks of behaving like a kitten. Clearly he wasn't in pain from anything and was very content. As soon as he started looking poorly again we took him back to the vet and she put him to sleep. We were so glad that he'd spent that time really happily even though we were very sad to lose him.
Hope your little cat has a happy few weeks or months, seacliff.