Dog and wedding

There is no point having dogs if you have to keep putting them in kennels

Do you keep putting them in kennels? There’s nothing in your posts to suggest you are. You’ve had a number of suggestions but you seem hellbent on ignoring them which makes me wonder why you bothered to post - you seem to determined to continue in your belief that everyone should love dogs and your DIL should accept your dog if she’s marrying into your family. Don’t be ‘that’ MIL.

If OP is indeed the same person Hithere it might be a case of the dog being the member of the family with whom kiki has the best relationship. Dogs are patient, loyal, usually uncomplaining and perhaps since the AC left home OP has lavished her love on her 4=legged friend. Especially if the DH is as grumpy as he sounds.
But dogs however much we love them are not child substitutes. (I must remember trying to tell Hattie that when she sneaks up to a spare bed in the night though)
This latest issue is a relationship crisis just waiting to happen.

youtu.be/0ksBMLmXhtU

but ... this is not what you DIL wants - so it is NOT going to happen.

Personally, Id love it

youtu.be/WobyjAjSGyE

''But a wedding is not the place for a dog. ''

unless of course the bride and groom would like it to be- a wedding with dogs...

In this case, it is clear as a bell NO dog- yours or anyone else's.

NO NO NO I like dogs but no I would not want one at a wedding, at a party or in a cafe thanks they have their place in society and are great companions but never at a wedding and as your new daughter in law has already said no
I m not at all sure why you are even asking us
You have talked about problems within your family already so maybe this would cause yet another fall out

There is also a slight matter of cost perhaps you haven’t thought of that now whose being rude ? If you can’t afford the costs associated with keeping dogs then don’t have one There will be times they may have to go in kennels
I don’t even like the idea of photoshopping the photos what message will than give to the daughter in law if she visits and sees that on the wall (I d want to take it straight down)

Forget your dog and enjoy your child’s wedding

Kiki2
You are clearly picking your dogs over your son and dil.

It is your right to choose and not for anybody to judge it.

Your son and dil also have the right to pick what is best for them and may not agree with your decisions. It is something you have to learn to live with

There is no point in having a DIL if you are going to p***s all over her feelings. There is also the slight matter of the cost (to your future relationship with her and her future family).

If you persist with this nonsense, upon your own head be it. Do not be at all surprised if you find yourself estranged from your family.

I feel so sorry for this poor DIL as I contemplate what her future might be with such a MIL.

Just get a grip!!

I note that most of the posts telling you to behave sensibly are from know Gransnet dog lovers. It is possible to love a dog without losing sight of reality.

I have no idea where you live but a friend here with a dog pays for someone to take the dog if she is going to be out all day.

She found this person by looking for a dog walker. The dog loves her new "friend" and her owner can go out without worry.

Much cheaper than kennels and
OP you are talking about one day......surely you can manage for one day or you could find a willing neighbour or someone else but a dog walker might be better as they will already be used to different dogs

Hello suziewoozie
There is no point having dogs if you have to keep putting them in kennels
There is also a slight matter of the cost ! Perhaps you haven’t thought of that ?!

Perhaps some of the problems outlined on the other threads occurred because you always want to take your dog with you; your family is happy to visit you but don't necessarily want the dog in their homes.

As I think someone said up-thread, perhaps you could consider having some wedding photos of yourself and your husband Photoshopped, so that it looks like your dogs were there?

Kiki2

Based on your background in GN, you clearly do not have the relationship you wish to enjoy with your AC (see links below)

www.gransnet.com/forums/relationships/1263837-Finding-it-difficult-to-bond-with-DD

www.gransnet.com/forums/relationships/1264584-Finding-my-adult-children-selfish

If you have expressed your unhappiness for not being able to take your dog to the wedding, please apologize.
"I am so sorry I wanted to take my dog to your wedding and for him to be in the wedding pictures
This is your wedding and I will respect your decisions"

there is a company my daughter uses called Trusted Home Sitters - they are very good and happy to dog sit. We went to a wedding where the brother of the bride brought his b****y dog - a springer spaniel - into the church - mayhem - it was very rude and totally took the attention off the bridal couple. PS There is no-one more 'doggy' than me but I would NEVER take any dog to a wedding. Kennels are fine too. They really are.

Unless you sort out your priorities now, you may put your relationship in real jeopardy in future situations. I can just see future threads= I’m going to visit new dgc in hospital and DIL says I mustn’t bring my dog; it’s my dgc first Christmas and DIL says I can’t bring the dog etc etc .,source a good kennels and woman up

You ask: are you being silly? Answer : yes.
Your daughter in law-to-be has expressly said she does not want the dog there, so you can't: 'just go ahead anyway and bring him out for the odd photo.'

I did go to a wedding where the bride insisted on her two dogs attending the service, which they ruined; whining and barking all the way through, clawing at the pews, and straining on their leashes to get out. No photographs were taken with them because it poured with rain on their way in, they managed to get wet and muddy and the bride couldn't allow them anywhere near her beautiful dress. The dogs disappeared before the reception, because the hotel flatly refused to allow them in.

The only reason to take your dog to the wedding is if you want to fracture your relationship with your son and daughter in law.

If you want the dog in your family photos, hire a photographer at your own leisure.

Send puppy to the spa, or skip the wedding. Your choice. If you skip it though, for a dog, you might never repair the damage.

I’d never forgive my mom for choosing a dog over my wedding

I have 3 cats that are like my kids. I consider them family.

Now - this is NOT your wedding.
Your desire to have YOUR dog in THEIR wedding pictures made my jaw drop.

I truly hope this thread is not serious. It cannot be.

Just in case it is - go to wedding WITHOUT the dog. Get a dog sitter. Have fun.
End of story

Do NOT insist your dog to meet their future kids, go to their home with your dog or have a visit to your home with the dog if they are uncomfortable with any of these arrangements.

Baggs
unkind yes and ironic
The OP is putting her own wishes before that of her future DIL on the couple's big day.

The dog will have no clue about what's going on.

MawB no, it’s an awful idea. And as someone with experience of estrangement, please see OP that developing a good prioritised relationship with your DIL is essential for your future happiness regarding grandchildren and your DS.

Good luck!

OP your last sentence that this whole thing feels mean anyway......
what did you mean? what is the mean bit?
is it you taking the dog or you being asked not to take the dog?

Also the Venue. If it is upmarket might not even allow dogs.

OP I think your idea is the best way to not get along with your Dil.
It is her wedding, she doesn't like dogs.
Dogs do not usually attend weddings.
I have a friend who is a wedding photographer for over 210 years and there has never been a dog at a wedding.

I would not like to go to a wedding with a dog in attendance.

I absolutely adore my dog, kiki.

But a wedding is not the place for a dog.

Get a dog sitter or stay at home

Given the stress on kindness (and, cough, unkindness), I find it somewhat surprising that it does not appear to have occurred to the OP that allowing her dog to appear at any point during her son's wedding happenings, when his wife to be is known not to be a dog-lover and a specific request has been made concerning the required absence of kiki-dog, that for it to appear even for a couple of photographs, in total disregard for the bride's feelings on her wedding day, would be manifestly unkind.

To put it mildly.

My DD1 had their reception at a country hotel where dogs were welcome. They looked after our dog while we were away at the ceremony. It was very informal at the hotel - in fact our pony joined us for drinks at the hotel afterwards - and I think there were four dogs all together. The only drawback was that our dog (a springer) managed to sneak into the kitchens!

BUT - Although our SiL is dog mad too there’s no way they’d have included animals at the ceremony. It’s a stressful time and if your future DiL says no animals (many couples also say no children - in fact we did) then you have to respect that. It’s her day and I’m sure she wants it to be perfect.

Also, many venues including most churches, won’t allow dogs. Are you intending to stand outside during the ceremony?