In laws nasty when we took our new dog round. We didn't expect them to ask the dog inside.

Some people don't like dogs in their homes, my sister never used to let my first dog or my following dog in her house as she reckoned it would upset the cat, I would have to leave it in my car. When she got a dog 2 years ago suddenly she decided that dogs should be welcome everywhere, including other relatives who don't like dogs and have cats. When she brings her round my house it always deficates on my garden or several times in my house, her attitude is well I was in a rush to come and didn't get a chance to walk it! I agree with others, if you turn up at someone's door with a dog, its inferred that you hope to bring it in, saying you are willing to take it home again would make the householder feel uncomfortable, especially if you are telling them you had brought it with you to show his wife, so you were expecting to go inside with it. Some dogs are excitable, new dogs are an unknown, you have said sil cant go out alone, so bil might think the risk of an unknown dog jumping about is too great. Try going back round and explaining you hadn't thought it through and not to let it spoil your relationship

I think you're being over sensitive. Like anybody, he assumed you'd bring your dog in.

I'm sure he understood you weren't going to bring the dog in AFTER you explained it. I hardly believe a person you'd bought presents for would refuse to understand anything so simple.

You love your dog. He doesn't. That's it.

Have you every actually had a dog?

They do make messes

Although, apparently, according to you, dogs all share consciousness so they are all identical. But somehow you don’t feel the dogs are dogs.

Get a life!

OH so you think you should be entitled to have a dog to look after you do, having not wanted one over into your bloody house, to mess it up or whatever you think in your pathetic imagination it's going to do well think again dogs know and feel when people are not dog lovers so I would be sure you wouldn't get one.

Not need for him to be rude nor for you to have to explain. You were walking your new dog, dropping off presents, would have been pleased to be invited in but not bothered if you weren’t.

You did nothing wrong. He could simply have put it politely if dog wasn’t welcome.

anok What a horrible person you are, no tolerance or thought whatsoever, the puppies were only babies and your.. bloody food shouldn't have been down on a low table any way , not very handy for guests to get to . Yes I think you are terrible.

Shame on all of you who make such a big deal about someone taking their dog round to someone's house, it is not a wild animal, they are kind caring and sentient creatures,
I hope none of you never need one of them to help you they
look after the blind the deaf, and if you are upset they know

That doesn’t mean I want them uninvited at my house.

Not welcoming dog A Today has absolutely no bearing on needing dog B, later in life.

Dogs aren’t all the same. They won’t know that I once didn’t want a dog in my house

Oh for heaven's sake!

Ashamed of people who think dogs are dogs! That is exactly what they are, and some people (including me, for what that's worth) like them, and others don't. How do you get to be ashamed of others, anyway?

Who or what we invite into our own homes is up to us, and there is absolutely nothing shameful about not wanting a dog in your house, and nor is there any reason why someone who is not a fan of pets shouldn't have a guide dog if they even need one - the roles are completely different.

Shame on all of you who make such a big deal about someone taking their dog round to someone's house, it is not a wild animal, they are kind caring and sentient creatures,
I hope none of you never need one of them to help you they
look after the blind the deaf, and if you are upset they know
it and comfort you, they help many people through life crisis
I am ashamed of you all who just think dogs are dogs and don't deserve any other title, they are wonderful animals,and you should open your door and f--k your low table with food
beautiful carpet they are worth ten times more than that

I’ve just read this thread having returned from a day out.
During the year 2 of my Dds acquired puppies which they brought to our house for Christmas Day. There were 8 adults and 5 children here as well. We have a spacious house but the dogs caused quite a few problems. One had several accidents on my carpets and they both kept chasing each other round and round. No food could be put on the coffee tables or left anywhere else as the larger of the dogs can jump quite high.
All in all the dogs made our day much less enjoyable and relaxing than it could have been. We will always welcome the dogs if we have to because we want to see our family but are so much happier when they’re not around. We don’t have a dog and don’t want to. In general we prefer not to have dogs to visit us. Are we so terrible?

They need to chill! There are people who would give anything for a friendly knock on their door!

So? People shouldn’t be uncomfortable because some other person somewhere would like something.

How rude especially as you didn't intend taking the dog in. I can't understand people like this who don't like dogs. They are such lovely loyal creatures. You can learn a lot from dogs. Happy New Year to you anyway xx

The points are on both sides - the dog-owner only wanted to show off the new dog, but didn't inform the brother-in-law in advance that they would be arriving on his doorstep with a doubtless excited and exuberant young dog, and the brother-in-law jumped to the conclusion that the dog was to be unexpectedly included with the visitors who had been invited round to the house.

Neither side comes out it of smelling of roses, and neither of them seems to have considered the point of view of the other.

Gransnet posters mostly seem to have only considered one point of view or the other too.

As the "auntie" to a lovely but a large and exuberant young dog who always leaps up to greet me lovingly when she sees me, has at least two-thirds of her owners' attention all the time they are in my house and supposed to be talking to me , and gets so bored after a short time that they decide it is time to leave (it is not because I chase them away!) my sympathy is slightly more with brother-in-law, who was expecting to have two adult humans for a few quiet drinks and a chat.

However, I can see the point-of-view of someone whose beloved new pet (which they are probably focussed on at the moment) seems rejected, with no chance to explain. I am sure everyone could see both angles, if they thought a bit about it.

It happened to us when we first moved here, a couple my husband new slightly, knocked on the door and marched in with a chow chow in tow, they didnt ask, just presumed the dog was welcome, I couldnt believe the cheek to be honest, they didnt think we could have been allergic to dogs.We didnt make a fuss but couldnt believe how people are, darned impertinent.Ask first not later!

Surely the point here was that the OP only wanted to show her SIL the dog. She didn't want to take it in, she just wanted to introduce it. The BIL was rude and didn't listen. That is the unreasonable bit. Not the dog being there as they delivered the presents but the fact that the SIL wasn't even going to ask his wife if she wanted to be introduced to the dog so he was being disrespectful to his wife too. In these circumstances I'd be upset too.

This sounds like very poor communication on everyone's part. BIL sounds to have overreacted but Christmas Eve sounds a very poor time to have sprung a no-warning, surprise dog visit on anyone.

Not really worth falling out over.

My brother and his partner have two Dalmatians whom they allow to hunt and kill wildlife. Not only do they allow it but seem to glory in it, relating instances of kills whenever we see them. Dalmatians are not hunting dogs and I believe my brother and partner's stance is to help them 'fit' with their local 'huntin', shootin', fishin' community. My brother wanted to be a vet in his early years, so I find this a huge turnaround. I am vegan, which they know. I don't expect my life choices to influence theirs but, equally, do not expect them to flaunt theirs at me. They are my only family. So far, I have said nothing, just remained silent during their reports which they cannot have failed to noticed - maybe they are trying to see how far they can push me? But their attitude sickens me. Does anyone have a suggestion on how I might deal with this?

A puppy visiting would be my idea of heaven, sod the humans. Hope you had a lovely Christmas with your new addition, bet you'll get more affection from them than your relatives ?

A little surprised that you had replaced your dog within 2 weeks (we still mourn our beloved pet after 7 years - and support dog charities until we are able to give a loving home to another). Dogs are sentient beings, not accessories. Perhaps your in-laws are more honest (if not humane) towards their approach to other creatures...

I think the point was . They were actually walking the dog decided to drop the presents off then OH Was taking the dog home while the wife went in .They just wanted to show this dog to them not necessarily go in with it . He just sounds like a Victor Meldrew . Why not just fuss the dog and then say to OH see you in a few minutes . Next time he calls just say I can’t let you in the dogs here with a smile on your face. Xxx

They need to chill! There are people who would give anything for a friendly knock on their door!

My son brought his two dog on Christmas day there were 10 humans as well the dogs were well behaved and everyone loved them I wouldn't have it any other way

Your Bil may have been in a bad mood from something totally unconnected to you and your dog...and just didn't want visitors at that time..you may have overreacted due to the stress of your mother's illness...

The issue, to me, isn't so much as bringing the dog around unannounced as it's the rudeness that the in law exhibited. The visitors were quick to explain that they had no intention of wanting to bring the dog inside, that they only wanted to show the in-law their new dog. We are a civilized society. If a dog isn't welcome, there are kinder, friendlier ways to say it without being offensive and rude. This was a NEW dog, not one that they "take everywhere with them". They were excited about having a new dog and thought the other family members (who in the past appeared to them to be dog lovers) would be interested in seeing it. Just because their assumption was incorrect doesn't mean they should be spoken to rudely. How much better it would have been for the in law to have said something along the lines of: "We are glad to see you both but we'd rather not have a dog come inside today. When you return, you can tell us about him and we'll tell you what's been going on with us". Manners really do count and many hurts and emotional injuries to relationships would not happen if folks thought before they spoke.