In laws nasty when we took our new dog round. We didn't expect them to ask the dog inside.

@notanan2, wow, you really sound like hard work! Have you even read the OP's posts?

Time to go round and try and make up I think as you only live 2 minutes away.

I am comforted with the kind responses I have received. Sister in law is being kind too, but the brother in law is really the problem, and to be honest, a bit of a control freak. I never said our dog was a puppy - in fact she is an older rescue dog, very well trained and obedient. Some responders have commented that they would not expect visitors to bring a dog with them, which is fair enough, but this is family, and I think this is a bit different, especially when my husband's family always made a fuss of our last dog when they came round.
I agree this needs putting in perspective, and for the sake of my sister in law too. I feel so sorry for her, now the mask on my brother in law has slipped.

@sheilall what a great comment, love it

I used to talk to my late much lamented cat the same way
notanan ?although he used to give me a disdainful look.

Oh I agree Elgran! I like DOGS. But I do not like some dog owners.

Some people I trust to manage their dogs well if they visit and others I dont. Whether I agree or not will depend on the attached humans, not how I feel about dogs!

I am usually happy to have dogs pop in (if done politely) but when it comes to dogs accompanying over night visitors I am more fussy.

With some people I just dont see the point of seeing them with their dog in tow because they constantly talk through their dog. "Oh we went to that park yesterday, didn't we? Yesh!"

I’m sure she is Alexa - there are many like you, and they’re great dog owners because they don’t insist on other humans communing with their dogs

(Disclaimer: I also feel the same about children who want to wipe their sticky hands on you or run around screaming in a cafe while the parents look on adoringly)

There seems to be an assumption that if you want to have at least SOME dog-free time with other humans you must "hate dogs" - much the same way that some parents think that if you want SOME child-free time with adults, without having three-quarters of everyone's attention on the children, you must "hate children".

Not true. I like the company of children, they are refreshingly honest and straightforward about life, even when they are telling fibs ("Mummy always lets us . . " ) and I like dogs, most of them. However, I also sometimes like to hold conversations with adults, with the full attention of the other adults being on the talk. I sometimes like to eat grown-up food without watching a toddler spreading their plateful of mush far and wide.

Same applies to dogs too.. They are lovely, and beloved, but they are not people, and the young ones are not adult dogs either - they combine all the qualities of animals and small children.

This does not make me a dog-hater!

SirChenjin, my dog would do no such thing as she is a dognified and gentle lurcher

Tedber 17.06.58 Friday
Yes, my own thoughts entirely.??

Cheers Alexa! I'm chuffed 're DocMartin similarities, just don't want his "open taxi door" ears!

I think it’s fine to commune with your dog (or other pet) but not so fine to insist on others communing with it. I like going for a walk or out for a coffee without said animals yapping, barking, sniffing, jumping up, wanting to be my friend, etc etc.

Dublin, that is interesting observation and not an idle one.

My theory right or wrong is modern urban life is unnatural in many ways and humans need some simple and quiescent living creatures to commune with .

Chewbacca, you remind me, nicely,of Doc Martin. Dogs love him but their feelings are never reciprocated.

Agreed Dublin29; I don't get" why dog owners seem to think that other people should like their dogs as much as they do either. When I'm out walking and see a dog walker approach, I always move a little to one side, so that they can walk past easily. On many occasions, their dog runs up to me to be greeted or, on some occasions, to jump up to be petted. I don't want to stroke or admire their dog. I don't care that their dog "won't bite" or is "ever so friendly, he won't hurt you". I really don't care. I just don't want dogs near me. And certainly not in my home.

@BBbevan appears to be at least you & 1 other person I’ve so far seen on this thread, that don’t like dogs. Am puzzled too on what seems like an obsession many people have about these pets & wanting to take everywhere? More cafes seems to be allowing them in, so this has added to it. What I’ve noticed in those cafes, they expect others to fuss over the dog & if you don’t, get a dirty look?

I can't believe how this thread has turned a simple misunderstanding into a major catastrophe. Mention of anguish and tragedy, if I didn't know people were serious I would think it was all a big wind up.

*Own THREAD I meant

Emilymaria I would be SICK and could not listen to all this BUT I think you need to start your own post to get others opinions. (sorry just re reading all the posts and saw yours now so others have probably not seen it)

Notanan2 I don’t feel the need to do a forensic examination of the case. I take what the OP said at face value; I commented accordingly. You make an awful lot of assumptions and seem to know better than the OP what was really going on. You also infer the OP is lying.

I do find it rather fascinating, even slightly amusing, the way you jump in and start on people. Not sure if you’re a troll but maybe your name gives it away.

As for the OP, if she’s still on here, I think she speaks the truth and BIL, for whatever reason was out of order. Entirely up to her if she wishes to stay friends or not.

Why do dogs bring out so much antagonism? I got the impression that the OP was upset because she wasn't given any opportunity to speak. Her BIL jumped to a conclusion and wouldn't listen to her explanation that the dog was only with them so that her SIL could see it then it was to be taken home by her DH who would then return a few minutes later without it. This wasn't a case of a dog owner expecting her dog to be welcome in someone else's home.

Dear OP, to never see anyone again is a massive step. I know that you were/are very upset and I understand your feelings as your BIL didn't give you the opportunity to explain your intentions. Families are notorious for upsetting each other, Perhaps familiarity leads to misunderstandings because we know each other too well. Before you make any final decision give yourself time to calm down and think it through.

And everyone in between!

Oh before I do go Sirchenjin ..^Oh do give it a rest notanan^ I just had to laugh.

Thank Goodness some sense Tedbar !!

Yes, I don't know about arcadia … but I'm certainly losing the will to live. so I'd best move on!

Merry Christmas to dog lovers and dog rejecters alike!!

SirChenjin
I've come to the conclusion that there are 3 types of people who have dogs and they are 1)your bog standard dog owners, 2) mummies and daddies of furbabies and 3) those whose love for their canine sentient beings transcends all other pet owners - for they are the true dog owners and you must never, ever question the behaviour of their pooch.

You've trumped me there - but I agree with you