How long does pet loss grief last?

I do empathise hugely. We’ve had 2 pairs of Labs over the last 25 years and only have one at the moment, her sister having gone missing completely inexplicably during a regular woodland walk in November. We searched everywhere for weeks - took & followed every shred of advice given - and yet, no trace of her has been found. I’ve been upset every day since as we were so closely bonded and rarely apart for more than a few hours. Having lost 2 of my Labs to old age/ ill health 10 years ago, may I counsel you to be glad that you have the assurance of knowing your dog is at rest - ‘don’t cry because it’s over, be glad because it happened’. I thought I could never replace my first 2 dogs, but after a couple of months, we took on 2 pups and never looked back. The tragedy is the depth of our love for our companion animals - the joy is the unparalleled privilege of experiencing their devoted love in return. I hope you’ll be able to consider a new dog to share your life with soon (never a ‘replacement’ though).

It's so difficult isn't it? My DH was heartbroken after our little Jack Russell died at a good old age but left a deep hole in our hearts. I saw an advert for an artist who specialised in painting animals so contacted her. She did a lovely oil painting of our pet and I presented it to my DH on his birthday. He then cried but I think he was pleased really!

DRIVERANN your post horrified me no vet should ever euthanas without consulting the owner and giving them the chance to be there and say goodbye i am so angry the final goodbye is a big part of the grief journey .he or she should be shot. MOMMAP my thoughts are with you I have allways found twilight and the teatime walk time the most difficult part of the day. Don't hold back the tears we are all with you.

MommaP.

I’m so sorry and I do know how you feel. It is totally heartbreaking. Not since my father died when I was still a teenager did I cry so much when my Sam was pts over 4 years ago now. I cried everywhere I went, in the shops, in the car. I think about him almost every day but I don’t cry anymore, I just remember all the lovely times we had with him and all the times be behaved like a little b.....stealing people’s food on the beach. Diving into someone’s tent and running off with a brown paper bag in his mouth which the owner informed me had a bread roll in it after he took a swipe at his backside with his book?. Once he cocked his leg over someone’s trainers as we walked on the beach and cocked his leg again over the same pair of trainers about 2 hours later on the way back. The memories are there with us and make us howl. I have his ashes on a shelf in the kitchen along with our first dog and our cat so he’s got company. I have a 13 1/2 year old dog who is the sweetest little dog and who has never been the same since we lost Sam.
You will feel terribly sad for a long time but it does get better. Cry as much as you like,he was your beautiful Labrador and you’re going to miss him terribly. ??.

So sorry to hear about your dog. It's very early days and I expect you will feel sad for weeks or months to come. I lost my two cats this year, one in March and one in October so fully understand how upsetting it is and I can say I will not forget them but just get used to their absence in my life. I cried buckets too, it's alright to be upset because they become your family. A few days ago I went to the local shelter and adopted two 5 month old kittens and will give them the best life possible. Let yourself grieve for your lovely dog xx

I lost my Japanese Akita two years ago, a couple of days before his 4th birthday. Even though I now have another dog (Belgian Mali') I still hurt about the Akita.

I've had other dogs that I've not grieved over as bad, but I think that's because they lived very long lives. The Akita's life was very short and I think that's part of why I still hurt.

In answer to your question, take as long as you need, take each day as it comes and things will get better. - We're all different. Do it your own way and don't let anyone rush you.

Take care.

Several tears rolling down my cheeks reading about everyone who has grieved over the loss of their family pets, I still have my two female dogs but the male one whose sister I still have completely out of character for him ran out of the park one evening and was hit fatally by a car not even a mark on him and I thought he was just stunned but a small gash on head showed he had been hit. I have his ashes in lovely casket it's been about five years now. He was just a legend such a big dog but a proper softie.
My brother lost his Yorkshire terrier three months ago she was seventeen he is coming to terms with it but behind the smile he is still grieving he went out and has now got two budgies in a cage he may get another dog but says he is getting too old to go through it all again we will have to see

People who have never known the devotion and unconditional love of a dog cannot appreciate that they are woven in and out of the fabric of your life, and the hole they leave is so painful. When our dear mongrel died some years ago we took on another almost at once - there was an 'orphaned' dog and it had nowhere to go. I felt briefly disloyal but then thought that my dear old dog had been a selfless and true friend; she left nothing in the world's terms except perhaps a hope that I would offer a home and love to another of her kind. We have never regretted it for a moment, and I feel our latest dog is a tribute to her, as she enriched our lives so much that living without that faithful companionship would be a life lacking in what is important.

You never get over a bereavement when you have loved. You would not even want to get over your loss.

Use your grief wisely.

Sorry for your loss, there's no time limit on grief especially when you lose a much loved family pet. Pip had to be pts in August due to a ruptured gall bladder, she wouldn't have made it through the night, she was 12 years old. I still cry now when I think of her and her loving nature, her picture is on my computer so I see her every morning when I switch on. I still have her ashes because I want to keep her near to me. On Sunday I will welcome 4 year old Mona, another Border Terrier to keep my little whippet company, who has missed Pip so much. She was a rescue and Pip welcomed her into our home 8 years ago. These little brown dogs certainly steal your heart xx

A loved pet will be sorely missed and you should allow yourself to have moments and not feel guilty. My last dog died 3 years ago and yet I still think I see her in certain circumstances. I do at times feel I want another dog but practically being busy with GC I know it wouldn't be the best idea.

I grieve for most of the year when I lose a pet.

Obviously, my grief is worst to start off with and I know exactly how you feel right now.

In the course of the first year after losing a pet, I begin to be able to talk to others about the lost pet without breaking down in tears, but often feel like having a wee weep when by myself.

As time goes on, it gets better and I find a can remember all the good times without a lump in my throat.

Our lovely family dog was put to sleep at home on my lap after he suddenly lost the use of his back legs. He had liver problems too so I made the decision for him not to suffer. I had a silver pendant made with a pawprint and his name on. I wore it every day and just touching it gave me some comfort.

My saddest time was last April when I had my beloved pony put to sleep. She was 32 and I bought her as a small foal. I was with her when she had her final injection.

It's so hard to lose a pet but as time goes past it fades to happy memories.

I have had many cats since I got married in 1960 - I did say when Chino died 2 years ago that I would not have another but my daughter's persuaded me.
I have now had a 10 year old rescue cat who had never been out at all which is a good thing as my husband and I moved to a retirement apartment in August and could only have a cat there as long as she did not go outside
However I am 81 and my husband is 87 so I do worry that she might outlive us - however I know my daughter's would try and find a good home for her.

One thing over the years that I have learnt is that the grief takes as long as it needs, but when my beloved dog died in the summer, I decided not to go years without another as I had previous to him. When I got rescue dog Alfie five years after my previous dog died I just felt that I had wasted 5 years that I could have been enjoying the love of a good dog
When Alfie died I hurt so much I thought my heart would break. I got another rescue dog, Mia and though I still grieve for Alfie, I have another little rescue dog that needs my love and care and who loves me back. Dont waste time thinking when you stop grieving will be the time to get one. Take a chance on loving another dog, it's worth it

The Blue Cross have a helpline: 0800 0966606 for those who have lost pets. Hope that helps.

My heart goes out to all of you who have lost beloved pets. They truly are part of the family who give you unconditional love and are there to listen to your troubles and woes xxx

Oh I am sorry, it is heartbreaking ....

Time is whatever you need, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

When I lost my faithful old lad Jethro, I was devastated, but even more devastated than I was Maisie our other dog, who had been with him since she was a puppy - she pined and pined for him crying all the time, it was awful to see - and so I got her a new rescue companion within a week - and she returned to 'normal' quite quickly. That wasn't my initial plan, but it had to be done for her, and "Dora The Explorer is a lovely girl, albeit a bird murderer if she gets the chance!

Do what you need to - they NEVER replace the one you have lost, but they occupy another bit of your heart and become family once again ... x

Our pets are a part of our family and our daily lives. Nothing is the same when they are gone - grieving takes as long as it takes and there is no time limit as they will always be a part of you and your memories. It is the same as any grief in that we learn to live without our loved one, person or pet, but never stop loving or missing them.

Sadly our pets steal our hearts and keep them forever. I miss all my past animals down to my crazy guinea pig, all were valued.
But keep the memories, move on & bring a homeless hound back into your life who will love you for it, when you're ready of course...

I'm so sorry you lost your beloved dog! It's early days yet. My friend's vet advised her to get a puppy straight away - she was sceptical, but did, and it was the best thing they ever did. The pup did not replace their lovely chocolate lab, and they still grieved for her, but they had a new project and hope for the future. You might want to consider it.

Had manypets over many years& losing them has always hurt so much. My lovely little black cat mum & 'baby' (7 yr old) were with me for 5+ years until Little Mum( Willow) had to be pts with a virulent tumour that took just a few weeks to take my lovely girl. Her daughter had never been away from her Mum & we both still miss Willow so much. When I rescued them I thought I would have more time with them. That was October & I still get tearful thinking about her she was so loved. I still feel upset sometimes thinking of the two rescued boys that were with me for 15 years till they died a few months apart 6+ years ago. Grief over lost pets never goes it just blurs round the edges with time!

When my cat was put to sleep in summer of 2014 I cried so much I gave myself gastritis! But we got a new kitten about 3 months later and that helped greatly. The price we pay for loving something that is usually going to die before us unless we get a tortoise or parrot!

So so sorry for your sad loss of Marley. I feel your pain. I lost my beautiful 16 and a half year old Lucy 8 years ago and still cry. She had been through so much with me and definitely helped my then 6 year old daughter (31 now), get through a dreadful illness. Luckily I wasn’t working at the time, as I never left the house for nearly 3 weeks. The only thing that helped to ease the pain a little was rescuing a poor dog that needed a home. Thinking of you , as I am sure many other dog lovers are on here. Take care. X

We have had black Labradors for the past 40 plus years. We lost our last one 5 years ago aged 8, I have never got over it and miss him so much, he was just perfect in every way. I also feel guilty that I was not with him when he was put down.
We took him to the vets because he kept twitching as if he was in pain of some sort. The vet said leave Charlie with them and they would scan him and phone us to collect him. I telephoned later to check if they had done the scan but they said they were busy and would let us know. After 6 hours I phoned to find out what was going on. I was told they had done the scan and Charlie had a large tumour that could not be operated on. I asked how long would he last with that, the vet replied “Oh I’ve already carried out euthanasia he’s gone”
The shock of taking him for a checkup to being told that has stayed with me to this day. We have not had any pets since.